Ever rip a fart in the office really loud when you thought no one was around, yet someone ended up walking right into it? I'm bored outta my mind at work right now, and have been having random thoughts such as this. I can't recall ever doing that or being a victim of it, or any similar stories. I can recall similar experiences like waiting in line at a grocery store or behind a pew in mass. Can relate to some bad BO experiences with co-workers or again people at a store, or mass. Sometimes it pays have bad sinuses from allergies in the summer. Anyhow the reason I ask is because I'm alone the office, and am thinking of how weird it would be if I let one out, and end up having someone walk through the office. So far so good though
I say let 'er rip. Go all out too. If you're gonna do it, don't do it halfway ie. trying to make it silent but deadly. Just rip it. You'll feel better and it can be quite the adrenaline rush waiting to see if anyone walks in while the smell is still present. BTW, threads like this are the reason the Hangout is so great.
Well my stomach is now empty and feels much better now, and no one walked through the office. Good times, good times.
You know those days when you have to take a dump around 11AM, before lunch. You hold it in, and it goes away after like 10-15 minutes. Then after lunch, you start to feel it again. But you decide that you can hold it till 5:30 when you get home, and take care of your business with comfort. However, that final hour before you leave work is a dangerous time. That poo is trying to find its way out, and you have recurring SBD farts. You'll let the gas out, which smells like poo, in your cube, and hope that nobody walks in. Then finally, when you get home, you smell up the bathroom so bad, that it's out of commission for the next couple of hours.
I remember I was in science class in eighth grade and our teacher, Coach Aikens, was like the southern version of Ben Stein. On and on he droned in his monotone drawl. Me being the little troublemaker I was, I started to cook up this fart. I coaxed and coaxed and finally, when I released the pent up gas, it sounded like a sonic boom. Everyone started laughing and Coach Aikens turned beet red (he kind of reminded me of Buzzcut from Beavis and Butthead) and asked angrily "Do you need to use the restroom!?" I told him I was quite all right. Damn, that thing was loud. It also reminds me of this guy in my boot camp company who could fart on command. We could just ask hit to fart and he'd rip one immediately. What a talent!
lol... your constant use of the word "poo" reminds me of the tom green "poo on the microphone" skit. anyway... i think loud farts in the officeplace are highly unnecessary. this is what you need to do... in my cube, i simply bury my buttocks into the fluff of my chair to muffle the sound. the only problem is that after a few seconds not only does the smell eventually seep out, but it also soaks into the padding of the seat. so basically whenever i sit down in my chair after nice stroll in the office, a smell resembling a sulfury (is that a word?) schit is emitted into the air due to fart saturation that has built up in the padding over the last couple of years. very unpleasant smell. what's worse when people refuse to come to your cube anymore because they don't want to sit in your chair. oh well. to solve the problem i sometimes rotate the chairs in my cube... kind of like how a farmer lets land lay fallow sometimes. it's just to let them air out every once in a while. frebreeze (sp?) is worthless.
Ah the ones that get stuck in the chair are terrible. I can't say I've done that. I have run into the scenario where I've lied in bed under the comforter asleep, and must of let out some terrible gas, because once I open up the comforter to go to the bathroom to take a leak, all that trapped gas under the comforter was warmed up and waiting to just terrorize my nose once I got up. and freed myself from the comforter. Damn brutal stuff.
Personally, I would rather cut a loud fart at work than cut a loud fart during sex, but that's just me!
By the way, my Father is a world champion fart ripper. Everytime he is with me and he lets one out, I look at him sternly, raise one eyebrow, and say: "What did that ******* say?"
Priceless.....OS, priceless! LOL I admit I've done that too. Especially after a lunch at the local Mexican eatery!
My old man always tells me "Old Toothless One has spoken." Of course that's after he's asked me to pull his finger.
LOL, OS. Um...good luck with all of that. This reminds me of an SNL fake commercial for a device that you stick in your poop shoot and when you fart, it would actually say something smart. That way when you farted, people would think you said something intellegent. Of course Will Ferrell was the pitchman. Personally, I've always found that a "strategically placed" Downey dryer sheet (april fresh) does wonders for smelly farts...
The driver seat in my old Saturn was the worst fart enhancing device I've ever encountered. I seriously believed they must have been stuffed with Mexican manure. Seriously hairy smell, and I mean hairy-bad!
