Hey guys, I'm wanting to ask my girlfriend to marry me at some point in the near future (this coming academic year anyway) and was thinking that the engagement ring must be something of an issue. I have so many questions... can anyone help? a) how much to spend? First obvious one, but I don't have too much in my savings account and I'm also still at university. I am and have been working over the summer and want to save up as much as possible (I want to make it so that I actually work hard to get her the best that I can possibly manage). I'm not sure what is acceptable though as my financial situation kinda affects her as we live together and do a lot together as well in terms of going out an purchases etc. So I don't want to break the bank, but I don't want to be cheap either as this is something that I want to be beautiful for her. b) where to buy? This is linked with the first one. I won't have much to spend so I can't exactly afford to be ripped off by an exclusive store. But what is your advice? Where can I get the best deal and is the internet adviseable? If so, any recommendations in terms of sites as obviously this has to be 100%. I'm not sure what else to ask but if anyone could give me their experience and how they dealt with I'm sure you guys could help me out a great deal! Thanks again.
Don't buy from a store in the mall, whatever you do. If you're in Houston, I can give you the name of a guy who will sell you a rock at the same price those stores BUY it at (he provides many a store with their inventory). I haven't gone to him in 8 or 9 years but he should still be around.
My wife and I lived to gether before we got married. We talked about it and decided not to get an engagement ring. We didn't want to blow that kind of cash when we were looking forward to buying a house and a bunch of other stuff we needed. Of course, I was 30 and she was 29 which makes a difference... by then she had gotten over the wedding people want you to have and was able to set a nice ceremony that reflected where we were and where we were headed. Since you're already living together, talk it over with her and see what she's comfortable with... If she wants to put you both in debt for years, well, good luck. I bought my wife a nice ring on our 10th anniversary and that suited us just fine. Remember, there's no ring that is going to guarantee a great marriage.
Have you talked with her about it? If not, do so. For one thing, you want to make sure she gets exactly what she wants. If you decide to spend a lot of money on this, you want it to be perfect for her. The only way to know this is to ask. At that point, you'll probably learn what your girlfriend is expecting from an engagement ring. Possibly, she understands the current financial situation and is cool with just getting something to signify your love. A bigger purchase down the road can make up for that. Or, you could learn that this has always been a dream for her and would love for the moment/ring to be perfect then. Don't let anyone in hear bother you with lines about engagement rings being stupid and if she loved you she wouldn't care stuff. The fact is that many women dream of this moment from the day they were born. Understand that just because she wants a nice ring doesn't mean she's a money-grubbing gold-digger. RM95's Fiancee insisted all along that she didn't want to get something too big now and wait a few years. Fortunately, I had someone come through for me and I was able to give her the ring she really wanted. As far as the ring itself, I have a person for you. It's like buying a car or a house and this person, Brett Stettner of Galveston Goldsmith, made it as simple as we could ask. If you want his info and my name, shoot me an e-mail me at giff@corp.swirve.com.
Klein's jewelry of Houston saved me more than a grand on my wife's ring 16 years ago. We just bought matching anniversary bands from the same place, Mark made them from a magazine picture and charged me 40% less than the advertised price.
Loved your post rimrocker. It's amazing how much money people blow on weddings and engagements only to find out they're "not meant for each other" a year or two later. Anybody can get married - the reward should be in staying together. Think ahead with your head not just with your heart.
IMO, diamonds are a scam - a product of Rothschild financed marketing via the DeBeers company. But hey, if women are foolish enough to buy into it and it'll keep you on her good side, then what the heck Go to Tiffany and check out the platinum set 1 carat solitaires. Depending on color and clarity, it'll run you around $12k-$20k.
I know Mark Klein as well. One of the true good guys. I love hearing him do those live spots with Granato.
No, I just think that putting so much emphasis on things like diamonds and several thousands of dollars in ceremonies is a terrible way to approach marriage, yet just like everything else it seems to be the materialistic norm. Buy, buy, buy must equal love, love, love.
Speaking of which... is I.W. Marks still around? I think he died, but is the store around? Brings back memories of Houston Wrestling.
i always say, if she won't marry you without a ring then she's not worth marrying at all. rimrocker's post says it best.
I don't actually live in Houston, so all the advice about stores in Houston don't help. Thanks for those who wanted to, I should have mentioned that I live in the UK. We have talked about marriage and she says she doesn't want an expensive ring at all... by this she means that whatever will do because it's the love that counts and she doesn't need an expensive ring to reflect what we have. There is no way I would spend 12k anyway. That could be used for a mortgage or for us to do fun things together, which to me counts more than what the engagement ring is worth (as opposed to what it is a symbol for). I do want to get her something, though. I think she would most definitely be upset if I spent everything I had or if it put me in a bad position. But I do want to do something for her and I kinda feel that just getting any ring from a cheap store will not symbolise what we have. I'm thinking that I'll use the extra money I have been earning over the summer, buy a bit less for myself over the next couple of months, and maybe work a few more hours until university starts in september. That way I will be spending what I earn specifically for the ring which to me would mean something more than just spending whatever I have in my pocket. Does anyone agree with this sentiment? Also, would anyone recommend the internet or is it just too difficult to see whether it is a scam or to see the detail of the ring in a photo?
Oh, and remember that I'm still at university so spending as much as 20k on a ring is beyond my means!
Yup, it's a scam. $12K-$20K? HOLY CRAP, Batman! I didn't know it was that good of a scam. My wife and I were in a similar position to you. I was in school, we were living together, and we obviously didn't have the money to buy an expensive ring. I bought her a gold ring with a garnet in it that looked nice for about $150. She burst into tears when she saw it (something about Japanese women, it happened to my brother too), and in all other respects seemed thrilled with the idea of getting married to me. Hopefully she's still happy with the idea 8 years later. However, I got off a little easy. Over here, she didn't have all of the friends around her that advertising and movies dictate that you show the ring off to. Your girlfriend probably does, so if you can scrape together a little extra money, it might be well spent.
If you can find yourself a good jewelry resale shop, you can get a good deal on a great ring. That's what my sister did, and she got a really nice piece for well under a grand.
eBay has some good diamond prices. As somebody said before though, if a girl won't marry you without a ring then she's not worth it.
