Eating Astros and other things

??? ESPN the Mag has some weird stuff.

http://espn.go.com/magazine/life_020911_stranded.html


CRAIG BIGGIO, Astros

Bigg has no problem casting his teammates as the Castaways' crew, or picking a tasty veal.

Who is your team's Gilligan?: Lance Berkman. He's a simple guy with simple needs. He doesn't think a lot.

… the Skipper?: Dennis Liborio, the head clubhouse guy. He's the boss. He'll yell at anybody. He has no issues getting on anybody.



… the Professor?: Brad Ausmus. He went to Dartmouth. He knows it all. Just ask him.



Which 'mate would be the first to eat another: Doug Brocail would eat somebody. Ain't no doubt about it. He'd have no problem. He'd actually invite you over for dinner. "We're gonna be eating Bagwell tonight. Anyone want his leg?"



And the first one eaten: Probably Wags (Billy Wagner) but I like him too much. I can't do that to him. The first guy would probably be Rex Jones, our trainer. He would put up a fight, but he's the smallest guy. Then again, he doesn't have a lot of meat. We could go for the bigger guys, the meatier guys. But we'll save them for later. The smaller the calf, the better it tastes and Rex is the veal.



Who'd be the fire master?: Somebody dyin' to light a fire? Gregg Zaun, probably. He'd be dying to do a lot of things. He'd probably be our pyro. He fits the bill.



… the island entertainment?: Wade Miller. He's the D.J. The entertainment would be fine. He'd make sure we were all taken care of.



… the rescue raft maker?: The other trainer, Dave Labossiere. The trainers work on wood and stuff like that. We'd eat the one guy (Rex Jones) and the other guy would build us the rescue boat.



What would be the Lord Of the Flies timeline?: I don't think we would break down like that. I think we'd be able to survive because we get along really well here. We could deal with it.