a spinoff of AB's thread. -Do you work here (while wearing a smock with the company's name on both sides)? -When is our paper due and how long does it have to be (right after the professor just passed out the syllabus, you're in freaking college for god's sakes)?
wow, its bigger than i expected... ( i didnt know if it was a compliment or put down, so i b**** slapped her)
One time, in the middle of Calculus class, a student asked my teacher: "Can you get a cramp in your butt cheek?" Don't ask me why she asked that, but it was pretty funny.
"Do you have our tests graded yet?" when, for example, they just finished taking them and the class doesn't meet for another several days. Yes, if I gave you an assignment on Thursday and it wasn't due until Tuesday, I would still expect it to be ready by Friday morning.
"Dumb Questions you can't believe someone asked" - As long as I work for a college I could post examples in here all day long. The funny part is, if someone prefaces their question with "Can I ask you a dumb question?", I'll cut them some slack and then usually follow the answer with "That wasn't a dumb question..." For me it's not the questions themselves that are usually dumb, it's the attitude of the one asking it when they hear the answer. "Nobody told me [that I had to follow rule X,Y,Z]" (Oh, you see the answers are hidden in the Undergraduate Catalog and usually in signs posted cleverly in plain view.) "That's not fair." (My personal favorite.) "Are you sure?" (#2 favorite, No I get paid to give the wrong answers.) "Can you do it for me?" (No. You're a big boy/girl now, you can handle it.) It's at these times when I think back to things that bama said about tests to qualify to vote and I start to think he may be on to something...
WAY back in the day (we're talking high school here), I was required to take Health class, which my buddies and I put off until our senior year. So we were surrounded by freshmen & sophmores, who we, of course, were free to pick on. We made this one freshman ask the teacher, "Can you get a yeast infection from eating stale bread?" Needless to say he spent the next Saturday in detension (yes, she hated freshmen). I can't believe he asked that!
When the Jim Carrey movie the Truman Show was out (for those who didn't see it the whole movie is about how they completely staged this guys whole life and it was all a TV show) about 45 minutes into the move some said really loud "You mean his whole life is on TV?".
When i walk into a room soembody asks: Are you here already?? I always anwser with: No i'm stll at home, i'm a illusion. There are alot of those questions were the question is so obvious. Ok they are always retorical, but i like to anwser them
Well the way they have the movie set up, it would definitely be better if you didn't know that at the beginning. But the trailer and the ad campaign completely ruined that. I wish I had discovered the truth like this guy did. Although I don't know how far into it 45 minutes is. Don't tell me he got all the way to Ed Harris' entrance before he found out.
I love it when people ask MULTIPLE TIMES: "Are you asleep? Are you asleep? Hey, ARE YOU ASLEEP!?" Well I was before, dumbass!
- "Is this going to be in the test?" Friggin' Freshmen. You should know that EVERYTHING is in the test. - "What's today's date?" It's on your freakin' cell phone, your freakin' watch, your freakin' office phone, your freakin' computer icon tray, your freakin' wall calendar, your freakin' kid knows this faster than you. - "Does anybody have a pencil or a pen I can borrow??" WTF? You're in college, not in freakin' elementary school...
"lock your keys in your car?" no, I just had it cleaned and now I'm hanging it up to dry. Guess that reference!
I've got one for the scuba people. Will I be able to take scuba lessons, and get that certification, if I wear hard contact lenses? Or will I need the prescription mask?
one dumb question I hear at the sportsbook is "do I pay now?". Iwant to say to them no pay us later or hell don't pay us at all. I also wonder why some people say "can I ask you a stupid question?" I want to say no I only answer smart questions. but the dumbest thing I ever heard,and this is a true story, is when this guy in his 50's or 60's came up to the counter with a bunch of tickets and said to the writer " I know these tickets are losers but can you check them anyway".
You should have spent all of 1/2 second looking at the ticket then spent about 10 seconds staring at the guy and then said "Yep, loser."
