ok, this might be a dumb problem, and some of you might roll your eyes at me or something, but this is something i really need to get off my chest and since it's late and everybody i know is pretty much asleep, this is the place for me to talk about it. pretty much, about four months ago, i got my first gf that i really really really fell hard for. past gfs were just flings, but this one i felt something for. right before valentines day this year though, she broke up with me pretty much out of the blue. i mean, the week before that she was being unresponsive and stuff, so i guess i saw it coming, but i was still shellshocked. well, a few days after she broke up with me, she called me and asked if i still wanted to be friends. i was still hurting and stuff so i said 'i dont think i can right now', so she started crying and tlaking about how she still really wanted to be friends with me and stuff so i said 'give me some time' and that was that. i found out she still was 'in love with me' but didnt want to go out, for fear of if we break up, losing me for good or some stupid thing like that. that just made everything worse for me, so i kept away from her. after like two weeks though, i hadnt talked to her really at all and i was starting to miss all the stupid little conversations and inside jokes we had with each other, so i decided ok, id like to have her in my life in some way so id like to still maybe be friends with her. so i talked to her earlier today and pretty much said 'id like to be friends with you again'. kind of snidely, she replied with 'i dont understand what it is you want, first you dont then you do?'. so, since this was a stupid thing to say as i just TOLD her i wanted to be friends i proceded to kind of throw myself at her in the hopes that we could still talk and stuff. i said a bunch of things and at the end she wasnt saying anything so i said 'i wish youd say something'. then she said, 'sorry, i was trying to be sublte'. so i mumbled something like a goodbye and hung up the phone. i dont understand why she changed her mind about being friends wiht me, i dont understand why i threw myself at her again and why i want to be friends with her again, and i dont like this feeling of rejection again. i ended up the stupid moron who tried to get her back in some way and was just put down again. it just feels like she broke up with me again. i treated her well and everything, i dont understand what i did to deserve all this crap, i wish things went better. i dont really know what it is i want people to say on this board, and i dont really know if any of what i wrote made sense, because im kind of in a heat of the moment situation right now. im just really confused and hurt right now and i dont really know what to do. theres nothing i can do about it, so im gonna have to live with it. i wish i could hate her.....then i wouldnt care so much. thanks for reading about my stupid ass problem. i appreciate it.
Problem? Yes. Dumb? Nah. This my friend, is called a girl. Her mind changes every 2-5 seconds, depending on the mood, temperature, location, weather. In conclusion? GIRLS ARE WEIRD. I know this didn't help solve your problem man, but trust me, I'm pretty sure we've all been through a girl like this at least once in our lifetimes. It happens. Just gotta try to either: A) Get over her. Forever. B) Deal with it. Good luck.
it's obvious you still care for her despite the way she chose to break up with you. initially you felt anger to the point of not wanting her in your life, but after a short time came to a realization that you'd take her any way you could get her; if not as a gf than at least as a good friend. to me it seems regret is the worst in situations like these. people will retaliate out of anger and wish they had not said certain things. give it some time and i bet she'll regret she said that whole "subtle" sentence and give you a ring. just remember to keep your cool and to be a good friend where you are needed. if all else fails, remember the cardinal rule: bros before hoes. hang out with the boys to get your mind off of this as there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Once upon a time... 1. jello77 and a girl were together 2. One day, she got sexed up from some other guy (Raul) 3. she broke up with jello77 4. Then she got conflicted: she liked being sexed by Raul, but really had a better personality click with jello77 5. she called jello77 wanting to 'just be friends'. She was hoping that she could get sexed up by Raul AND have the comforting friendly shoulder of jello77 6. when jello77 turned down her friendship, she continued to get sexed up by Raul, and to make new friends (or hang out with other old friends) 7. One day, jello77 called her back up wanting to be friends, but since she now has Raul's schlong and other friends, jello77 has nothing to offer her, so when he pathetically threw himself at her, she stomped on him. The end. Look at it backwards: Why would a girl want to shift a relationship to friendship from intimacy? basically, at the gf/bf level, the only difference is physical affection. MEN, TAKE NOTE: when a girls says, "I want to break up, but I still want us to be good friends" what she means is: "I like our friendship, but I don't like your physical affection. I want to get my physical affection from some other guy and keep you around for fun conversation." ... either that, or she's just using that as a line: she doesn't really want to be friends at all - she just says that hoping it will break it to you more gently. -- droxford
If you want my advice... you need to stop whining like a little w****; if she doesn't want to be friends, get over it. What you need to do stop focusing on what you are missing and focus on what you will continue to miss should you dwell on the past. **** happens, girls can make no sense, guys can be complete idiots. I would by no means recommend being friends with an ex girlfriend unless you were good friends before you dated. Get out there and find someone else, and should you run into her one day... be sure to dump the body off the pier.
she sounds ridiculous....i know it sucks now but just keep yourself busy with friends and get over her if its gonna work out then she will do something to make it work...if not then forget her. my gf just chimed in that she thinks that the girl was getting some dick somewhere else and didnt want to tell you. so take that for what its worth.
She's confused as hell. You're even more confused because she's so confused. You're better off getting plastered, getting back in the game, and blowing this girl off. If she likes you as much as you would like to think she does, she'll turn up. The odds of her doing that increase geometrically with your distance from her. No charge.
damn droxford you the way you put that made me feel like crap. seeing as i just recently went through something like mr. jello. except we are still friends.
I dated a girl for 6 months, then broke up with her. We got back together a few months later, but then she broke up with me. It hurt like hell. We got back togther again, then broke up again. But the 4th time we got together, it stuck. Now we've been married 17 years.
Q: why is it called PMS? A: because mad cow disease was taken my advice, stay away from girls like that. My friend had almost the exact thing happen, things were going great, then she broke up out of the blue citing, "didn't want to get hurt" syndrome, but still wanted to be friends. guy couldnt take it so brushed her off, then mellowed out and she countered with a cold shoulder. its a power thing, some girls use this to feel in control over guys, whether sexually or emotionally, because they most likely are insecure about themselves. Thus, stay away from these types, and go date one of her friends (seriously) because once you date a girl, all her friends secretly want to date you too because they want to take the power away from her friend (girls are more competitive with each other-proof- they travel in groups to the bathroom to gossip, they dont want to leave the group other wise they will be talked about and ganged up upon). you're young, dont waste time on nutcases, i know its a cliche, but there are better fish in the sea, especially your ex-fish's friends
i'd really like to thank you guys. reading all this has made me feel much better and even laugh. thanks alot, considering none of you know me, you've made me feel so much better. for the record, i know for a fact she wasnt cheating on me. theres nothing i can do at this point but forget about her i guess but thats easier said then done. the next couple weeks might be kind of hard. thanks again guys i really appreciate it.
The amazing part is that women are typically stupider than we are with trivial nonsense, and yet are amazingly smarter than we are with relationships. The best advice I can give is to simply leave her be. More than likely, she will call you when she is hurting. Make sure that you are aloof and non-committal when she does call. This will help you in the long run.
i didn't read any of the replies so i might be repeating some of them. anyhow, of course you're confused. she says she doesn't understand you? what about her saying she loves you and that's why she wants to break up? how utterly ridiculous is that? you break up with people b/c you're not attracted to them anymore, love them, or compatible with them. what you don't do is break up with someone you like/love. cut off all communication with her and let her figure out" that you have gone on with your life. if you show her that you're not gonna waste time with this, she'll come crawling back.
one day before valentine's day... jello: why are you acting funny? gf: i don't know what you want!! jello: so you want to break up? if so, i don't think we'd be able to be friends. gf: don't blame me!! it's my first day!! jello: ummm... wtf are you talking about? gf: i don't know what that is!! jello: ok... enough with the weird schit. i'll always love you. goodbye. two weeks later... jello: i just called to say that i'd like to remain friends with you. gf: i don't know what you want!! jello: uhhh...??? did you just hear what i said? gf: don't blame me!! it's my first day!! jello: i wish you'd say something that made sense. gf: i don't know what that is!! jello: goodbye. (hangs up phone.) gf: (doesn't realize jello is no longer on the phone.) no it ain't!! ok... it's obvious what the problem is. you're dating the "rocketman95 bad service chick". solution: don't date toyota center chicks.
