A 20-year friend of mine has finally filed a restraining order against her husband. She could/should have done it 10 years ago, but finally reached the breaking point and did file the order this past Thursday. Her husband abuses alcohol and seemingly has a manic-depressive syndrome. On Tuesday night he turned her over in her chair as she sat at a home computer and then proceeded to push her around some. He did this in full view of the two kids aged 11 and 14. He found out that she has been getting a massage for two years and immediately accused her of having sex with her masseuse. Screaming accusations eventually give way to his drunken stupor. On Wednesday, she goes to get accupuncture treatment for her neck. He calls her and again accuses her of infidelity. She denies it and ends the phone conversation. She arrives home as he is about to leave and go find her. He assaults her on the front porch by punching her in the nose; the nose is probably broken and definitely bleeding. She manages to get in the house and tries to use her cell phone to call 911. He is chasing her around the dining room table while she is telling the 911 operator that he doesn't have a weapon other than the fist with which he's already bloodied her nose. It takes the police 45 minutes to arrive to "render assistance." The next day she takes off work to go to court to get the restraining order and finds a very unsympathetic, almost hostile, female judge who begrudingly issues a temporary restraining order. Apparently a lot of these TROs are requested vindictively, so much so that it jeopardizes someone like my friend who is really at risk. What is wrong with this system and these people?
Did your friend file charges? Even if she didn't, if she wants to file a 2 year restraining order based upon allegations of family violence (2 years is as long as she can get, and it can then be extended), tell her to call the DA's office (assuming she lives in Harris County) at 713-755-5800 and ask to speak to someone in the Family Crime Law Division. They can give her information and possibly even go with her to court depending on the circumstance. She will find very sympathetic people who are very willing to help her out.
Sorry to hear about all that Giddy. The world is nasty, cruel place. Stories like these only make that reality more vivid.
My girlfriend punched me in the face last night It was pretty hard, knocked the glasses right off my face
Very similar situation with my aunt. Her husband was an alcoholic and verbally and physically abused her. She largely kept it under wraps, always excusing his behavior and trying to smooth down rumors. She thought she could CHANGE him. Then during one of their drunken fights five years ago, he stabbed her to death. His BAC was through the roof. If there's one thing I always try to tell people it's that they don't have to tolerate this kind of relationship. Please, please, PLEASE don't feel like you're doing anyone else any favors by staying with the person who abuses you. I hope your friend gets the help she needs and divorces the loser right now. PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE.
People see the high divorce numbers and consider marriage to be an institution almost in jeopardy. But all in all, it really is better to just walk away and LEAVE a bad situation. Especially a violent one no matter the cost. I'd rather a country full of lonely bitter unmarried people than a country full of couples who are injuring and killing each other, but feel compelled and pressured to "stick it out". Not when children get involved. I tell this to my own family even, I dont care if they get mad at me or call me a dork: Choose good men, stay away from the bad boys. The system, not sure. Unqualified to know. Unfortunately with people even when they try their best, relationships can be a mixed bag. The key is to be aware of early warning signs and take them seriously. Much much easier said than done...since people both can manipulate others and lie to THEMSELVES turning things complex
I am not surprised about this. Many time it's these low class, drama-filled, unstable couples who are madly in love one day and hate each other the next. Law enforcement and the court gets involved. Rinse, repeat, weekly. This stuff was on Cops all the time.
