I am in a very very difficult position. Let me explain. Me and my girlfriend we are together for a bit more then six years. Living together for about four and half years having both the best relationship we ever had. It is just perfect even when sometimes you feel that you are together for more then six years. Sure we don't have sex as much as in the beginning but it is still good and all the other stuff we work like a fine tuned machine. But since about a month I die to come together with her best friend. We are good friends too and I also have a very good relation with the partner of my girls best friend. We know us since about one and a half / two years. I always liked her very much but since some weeks my heart explodes every time I see here and that I want to go away with her to some foreign countries, hold her, touch her,.......man I could cry only thinking of her. I am lovesick as much as I haven't been more then six years ago when I finished my last relationship for the girl I am together with now. My girlfriend and her are really best friends and her partner is also a good friend of ours. I am mentally and heartwise totally pulled between what makes sense (stay with my girl and forget about her friend) and what my heart hungers for which is to escape with her. The problem gets worse since it seems that also my girls best friend seems to have interest but goes through the same fears, problems and sleepless nights. I would break my girlfriends heart, her best friend would break her heart and we would also break her partners heart. What a mess. And we alltogether share the same circle of friends. great. It is not that I do not love my girlfriend anymore, It's all good. But I starve for something new. I get crazy thinking about us two together. I lose weight by the hour these days. Anyone of you ever been in the same situation? I'm about to loose my hind during the breaking of my heart.
Dude, do you even need to ask? Have you seen Jerry Springer? Leave the girl alone. There are waaayyy too many other girls out there to do this. This is selfishness on you. You want to hurt your girlfriend and that girl's boyfriend because you "love" her? Bullsh*t. Stay far away. I would go ahead and breakup with the current girlfriend. Your minds already set on finding something new.
What are the five things a man needs to survive on a desert island? Food, water, shelter, poontang, and strange poontang. My advice is go for the menage a'trois. Why the hell not!
wow...you sound like one of my best friends a few years ago and it was miserable!! she's still dating her ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend, but it got REALLY ugly. She never talks to her old best friend, all their common friends side with the other girl and hate my best friend, you almost have to force the new rltnship to work to justify that ruining multiple friendships was worth it. granted they are still together (3 yrs now?) but i honestly can't tell you it was worth it. it's a horrible thing. stay away...keep you distance. never be alone with the friend. good luck.
No I do not watch Jerry Springer (have seen it sometimes) and I don't think that show is a real help. But she is not that kind of girl who would do this. If I would feel she would do the same come the situation then I would rethink it. But she loves me so 100% it is just terrible to think about to break her heart. Also it is very hard to know for sure if it just for the feeling of getting someone new. All the fresh feelings and butterflies that you do not have when you are together for some years or if it is real love and desire. Most of the times I believe it is the second. I am one a absolutely crazy rollercoaster of emotions.
When in a long-term relationship, it's only natural that eventually you are going to find someone else attractive. Anyone who is in a long-term relationship should know this and expect it (it will happen more than once, I assure you). What's important is how you handle it. Control yourself. Contain your emotions - do NOT act on them. Part of building a strong long-term is enduring such temptations. -- droxford
First let's just get these out of the way.... tell her ske kicks ass and nair your balls, that'll set you right. I've been in your situation, I went with the new girl instead of staying with the current girlfriend. It was the hardest years of my life and I'm still recovering from the decisions I had to make. But I wouldn't go back and change it for anything. As I've mentioned in similar threads a lot of this is timing, you mentioned the realtionship is good though the sex has slowed down, etc. That's typical, what you have to figure out is are you satisfied in your relationship and looking to marry your current girlfriend in the future? If you can honestly say no or I'm not sure yet then go after the friend. Life's too short to spend the rest of your life married to someone because they were the safe secure bet. Take the risk realizing though there's a good chance you're going to alienate your current gf, the new gf, and your circle of friends. Even if everything goes to hell at least you'll know. Still you have to be damn sure that your current gf is not the one you want to end up. Don't make up reasons either obviously she's not perfect, just be honest with yourself. One of my favorite movie lines... "Don't give up the best thing in your life just because you're a little unsure about who you are." That being said, the only sure thing in life is change, never fear it.
You're not being honest with you current girlfriend. You tell her you love her, but are thinking about her best friend the whole time. Make a decision. Either stay with your girlfriend, and commit to that, or end it. It doesn't sound like you are being fair to you GF of 6+ years.
thanks for the advice. We have been alone together already (but nothing happend except tears and enormous emotions and both saying that we just can't but both seemed to want it,.........it is terrible)
nice words, both is true I try the best to live like that. We kindly agreed to keep it calm and do nothing and wait for some time (half a year) and when the same feelings are still here we should come together. Each solution sucks.
Btw, why aren't you married at this point. Living together for 4+ years is quite a while to be sitting on the fence. Don't mean to pry, but you did bring it up, and it's probably more than a little relevant.
yep....i still say stay away and don't be alone with her from now on b/c that's how it all started with them. they'd all been friends for yrs and one w/e, my friend and the guy were gonna take a long road trip to go home and opportunities arose. they acted on their feelings and it got really bad. my friend was suicidal for doing something stupid and not having the will power to stop. not to mention, she was dating someone else at the time. she lost a lot of weight too, couldn't sleep. it's not worth it. try sprucing up your relationship with the current girl. make it interesting again...try things you've never done before. don't settle for routine. maybe it'll spark something and make you realize how happy you are again and that temptations are just that. don't act on your feelings no matter how hard it is now. with that tho, like others said, you should take this time to reevaluate your relationship with your current girl.
I still have the fear to ruin it with my gf if I would tell it to her and then just find out that the new crush is just an affair in my head. I only want to tell it to her once I am ready and sure my decision is the right one.
I am 32 and she is 22 and she has no interest in marriage. Both our parents are divorced and we are not the kind of people to get married at this point of our live. Her best friend neither. She is 23.
Thats what my head says, exactly this and I am the type of guy who does this 9 of 10 times. But am really not sure if this time it is the 1 out fo 10 situation. I try to stay away of her even when I miss her once she is out of the door.
Go home, do your girl of 6 years in the pooper and enjoy it. The other girl probably doesn't like it in the pooper. Seriously, don't play with fire unless you don't mind getting burned.
Some people (usually guys) are screwed because they never grow up. They make poor decisions about a 'real' relationship to hunt for something new (physically speaking), then realize what they lost when it's too late. Others are screwed because they cannot decipher their own feelings. They don't recognize 'real' signals to end a relationship and just move on. Love isn't 'fair'. It can be brutal and hurt people, and sometimes there's no way to avoid that. No one here, except you, can determine which it is for you.
