Dating Older

curious.


what happens when they say they have kids? is that annoying? do you not mind?

 

I've always gravitated towards older women. In fact, I think I've dated a grand total of two women younger than me. All the others... couldn't tell you how many, it's a lot... have been older, in varying degrees. Typically I seem to date women about 3 years older than me.

I think the biggest difference was when I dated a 25 or 26-year-old grad student when I was an 18-year-old freshman in college. It was nice. So much less BS than younger ones.

For myself, I'll say that it's cool and I don't mind (though naturally all things being equal I'd prefer no kids yet), so long as they don't try to turn me into daddy within a month of meeting them. That's a red flag. That's when I run like hell.

 

You know, I think this effect for me partly has to do with something someone said in another thread awhile ago about foreign women: American women seem to assume they're all marriage material. They're not. At least, not until they get older, a lot of the time.

An unfortunately high percentage of women I've found to be self-absorbed gold-diggers who can't comprehend thinking about anyone's needs besides their own. Seriously, that's not just my ex-fiancee... it's most of 'em, in the end. Maybe that comes with having a fairly high income, I don't know. But foreign women seem to be a lot more mature to me in general.

I was raised on old-school, conservative values. I'm looking for marriage material, and I'm not finding it with women my age.

 

Do you see yourself eventually ending up with someone older than you? I've dated an older woman and it wasn't bad, but anything long-term would seem iffy to me, especially. Think about if they are like 10 years older that she would be 40 when you are 30. I think long-term younger is the way to go.

 

I was like that when I was younger. When I was 18, I would date 20~21 year olds. When I was 20, I dated 22 year olds. It was weird.

But now that I'm 24, I find myself gravitating towards girls 2 or 3 years younger than me. I feel that is the "ideal" age if I wanted to get serious with a girl. I would imagine my future wife would be 2~4 years younger than me. But like some mentioned, there is that immaturity and emotional unstable factor.

 

These two charts should answer your dilemma:

 

So you're saying I should be poor, and that would solve my problems?

I'm a tech geek. I don't think that would work out very well... my high-end computers and games cost MONEY!

 

I am currently in an LTR with a woman 17 years older than myself. It will be 2 years in July. I am about to turn 35. I have no kids. She has two teenagers. This has been the most fun of any relationship I have ever had. There is nothing wierd about it. Our personalities just match. There is no BS. We are open and honest about everything.

It doesn't hurt that she looks about 10 years younger than what she is. Even the women I was friends with before guessed that she was about 10 years younger than what she is.

It all depends on the people involved. It can work. These can be very good relationships. If you would have asked about this a few years ago, my response would have been very different.

 

Both of my bro-in-laws are younger than their wives. Both 2-3 years...

FWIW, I worked better with a younger women (three years difference).

I think it's just a matter of what you're comfortable with.

Age is just a number... but I find that most people are most happy within the 3-5 year age difference...

Unless money is involved.


I will say this though... ^those numbers usually involve younger couples I'd say... the more age, or better yet, maturity someone has, the less an age difference bother/affects them.

I have other relatives that have anywhere from 7 - 20 years age difference.

At any age, open communication is the key to success.

If either of you is creeped out by the thought of old age... seriously consider at what rate you want the other one to get there... Do you want to be first, or second? Do you want to age "together?"

This is why many find companionship close to their own age... the changes usually present themselves at about the same rate.

Anyway... dowutchalike.

 

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On the personality aspect, there's more compatibility between a male and a female older than him. They say girls mature faster than guys but thats BS in my opinion. It takes a lot of living for women to develop logic. If thats important, older is the way to go.

The physical aspect..... man thats a tough....If I dont every plan on having my own kids it wouldnt be that big a deal. But If want my own I'd have to think youger....

 

I think people are too worried about an older partner "getting old faster". Guess what, the two of you are aging at the same rate. It's not like whoever hits 40, 50, 60, whatever first is going to turn into a little old lady or man overnight. You're both getting older at the same speed; if one person seems relatively young for their age, they will continue to seem relatively young considering, and it's not like you're staying young forever anyway. It shouldn't make the age difference seem greater.

Interesting about some people preferring older women but not to settle down with. Myself, I would be looking for either friendship (and nothing but friendship) or a real relationship that was moving toward settling down. Nothing in between. You don't want to be somebody's fling and then they abandon you when they grow up and move on from it. It's something I've always thought about just because so many guys follow that pattern. But it doesn't have to be. I know lasting marriages with the woman considerably older than the man.

My guy is only seven years younger - not these tiny age differences some of you are talking about, which are hardly enough to count, but hey, it could be worse. The relationship does need to be equal. I'm not really attracted to older guys (and most of the ones my age seem older) - too much baggage and expectations to go way too far, too fast, in relationships. My life has gone in a different direction from theirs. Also, right after I read this thread last night we had a great conversation about whether a stuffed pink bunny can be a hermaphrodite and what happens if you do something you really shouldn't with a clarinet... in other words, I'm equally immature anyway. I shouldn't even count as older.

 

I am currently dating a 33 year old woman, and I am 26. She has been hands down the best woman I have ever had a relationship with!!! If this doesnt work out, I will never again date someone my own age!



that is us

 

^ Nice...Good for you...

I've always dated younger by 1 - 2 years or the same age...With younger women, there's always drama/BS associated with it...I guess I'm insane or maybe it's the chase...

I've dated older in the past and would again...I can't put an number on it as age is nothing but a number, but she has to look good...Also, I think more men are attracted to women who are secure with themselves, self confident and know what they want...No guess work required...

We were sitting on a patio yesterday (Gloria's) and there were a lot of hot women, young and old...one women sitting near us said she was 42 but she looked f'n hot...That's what Im talking about...

 

I'd probably be happy if I was dating Rosie Perez too. That is, if she never talked.

My wife is 5 years older than me. The difference in her attitude towards most things was so different than other girls who I had dated that it blew me away. I liked it so much I married her.