So, here is what happened. I meet this girl a couple of weeks ago. Really cool, sexy and all. Got her number and text'd her two days after a few messages and then stopped. I waited 4 days and she texts me on Saturday to say hello. I tease her a bit but only like 2 messages. Again I stop. Basically I am building up my rep as a guy with things to do. This goes on and finally I wait 7 days and no texting. Again she text'd me for lunch but I say I'm busy but I am free on sunday. So she agrees. After that I text her once to say I'm looking forward to it (might have been a mistake) but I wanted to show that I had some interest in the "meeting." Sunday comes and I text her to confirm/arrange the time to meet. She agrees to meet after church about 1. Well, at 11:00, just 2 hours before we agreed to meet she texts me with this lame excuse that her sister is in town and that her sister and best friend want her to go to lunch with them. Aside from the fact that i get bumped for her best friend and sister at a whim (i.e. they ask her and she obliges them knowing she has already agreed to meet me), I figure it was some game. So, I text "wow. Okay." I don't get a response. So, I let it go. After all, I just meet this girl I feel that I am not invested in her anyway. Tonight, I finally get the text and I knew was coming. The one were she really is sorry wants to meet me and she knows she has some making up to do. Now, I know that some of you would say that this is great, you get the date anyway. But somehow I don't see it this way. My problem is that if I flat tell her no, I look like an ass. If I agree, well she just jedi mind trickied me to date her on her terms, which I can't live with either. So, with that, what is the best approach, knowing that the whole canceling seems like a test to see if I would go ballistic on her and the fact that I gave less energy puts me in position once again to close the deal. What would you do?
Stop playing games and reading into everything like a woman. If you want to meet her - go and meet her. If you don't , don't. It really doesn't need to be that complicated.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe she even texted you a few days later after that "wow. okay." response. we women hate those. that's probably why she didn't respond to that text. Things come up. Being forgiving and understandable is much more to your benefit than trying to make her feel bad and angry with a 2 worded perioded text. any combination 1 or 2 of the following words in a text message, often pisses us off. ummm. ok. okay. whatever. yeah. wow. yup. You're putting way too much thought into this. The girls are the ones who are supposed to put the time into the playing busy and hard to get. If you like her, then why would you say no to her asking you out again?
Don't do that. Set a concrete date/time/place a couple days before and put the onus on her to show up. It sounds weird since we are so used to cell phones and constant communication, but setting up the date initially and then still needing to confirm it (sometimes multiple times, like you did implicitly by saying you were looking forward to it) makes it seem less concrete and you allows for more chances to cancel. If you value your time and don't care for being stood up, just delete her number from your phone. I've been known to do this liberally during busy periods in my life. If you like her and feel her excuse and apology are sincere, have her invest in you some way to make it up to you. I like to have them bake me caramel brownies if they dip out on a schedule date.
just man up and take her out. LOL at all this work for some girl you don't even know it will work out or not.
This is pretty good advice here. Making me something makes you less of an ass and it allows her to truly make up to me. I might try this.
You're paranoid. Quit it. You want to believe it's always a game and it's not. Yes, some women play that crap and everything is calculated, but you're on auto pilot and assume they're all playing this game. Bruce Lee once said: " The highest technique is to have no technique. My technique is a result of your technique; my movement is a result of your movement." So base your actions not on "rules" on how to play the game, but instead based on her genuine interest or response. The waiting game is pure BS when you're looking for something real. If either of you are busy, then your busy, **** happens....if you want to see each other every day for a billion hours, then go nuts, the hell with what the rules say "she may think". Any girl who's really interested in you isn't going to deduct points from you for accepting to hang out with her. As long as it's a mutual thing it's cool. It's cliche, but go with the flow if you really like her...there's no point in ruining it because you made it into a chess match, especially over something like family. It was her sister she was seeing (who she probably rarely see as she livs out of town), not some stranger. You're lucky she didnt go batman on you after the response you gave her. Listen to Bruce Lee. If someone throws a kick at your face and you're busy trying to figure out what he really is trying to do, you'll just end up on the floor from getting kicked in the face. Just react to what's happening, not what you're paranoid about.
If the sister story was bs. ( which I think was) then oh well not much to do, but take her out to show that you don't let things get in the way of yall trying to start a relationship. Best of luck to you, I'm expecting for you to get a **** buddy out of this.
Well, if you're interested in an actual date with this woman, set a concrete date and time and stick with it. Let her know that you are looking forward to spending time with her. However, if you want to continue to play games and run in circles, by all means keep doing what you're doing.
Texting you 2 hours before the meet? Psst...please. the sister story is pure BS. she flaked out on you big time. the fact that it took her so long to give you any kind of response is even more indicative of her flakiness. honestly, she doesn't like you enough right now. otherwise, she wouldn't have cancelled. even if it really was her sister. but don't give into her BS.
Whatever you do, don't act too into her during the lunch date. It would also help if you take your dad's Cobra out for the date.
Okay this is way too much thinking into a first date. Just go out with here if it doesn't work so be it, but stop driving yourself nuts over how a relationship's entire future terms will be set based on a couple of texts.
Along those lines, I was thinking about telling her yeah, I can meet you at Mcdonalds. Or I hear Mcdonald's has a mean value menu.
I'm not even convinced this girl likes you...like one of the other posters said, you might be in the friend zone. Just go to the damn lunch if you want to and not think so much about stuff that really doesn't matter all that much. If you don't, just tell her that you can't and are too busy and let it fade into oblivion. Do you really care that much if she thinks you are an ******* (which she probably won't if you just tell her you're busy)?
