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Dad Jokes!

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by DaDakota, Aug 26, 2022.

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  1. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    Elton John bought a treadmill for his rabbit.

    It's a little fit bunny....

    DD
     
    #1 DaDakota, Aug 26, 2022
    jiggyfly, ROCKSS and Rocket River like this.
  2. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS

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    My 11 year old daughter hit me up with this one the other day...

    Dad, why can't dinosaurs clap?


    Because they're dead.
     
    #2 boomboom, Aug 26, 2022
    macho GRANDE, Dayop, ROCKSS and 6 others like this.
  3. Nook

    Nook Member

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    What do you call the sweat on your father’s balls after he’s had sex with your cousin?
    Relative humidity.

    What is the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam?
    Two hands on your shoulders.

    What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon?
    @Squirtle

    What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
    Single
     
    #3 Nook, Aug 26, 2022
    Two Sandwiches, jiggyfly, Dayop and 8 others like this.
  4. Squirtle

    Squirtle Member

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    You RAW DOGGIN SONOFABITCH!
     
    #4 Squirtle, Aug 26, 2022
    Two Sandwiches, jiggyfly, fadeaway and 3 others like this.
  5. Xerobull

    Xerobull ...and I'm all out of bubblegum
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    What does Batman order to drink?

    Just ice....

    What's the best time to go to the dentist?

    2:30...
     
    #5 Xerobull, Aug 26, 2022
    BigM, Rocket River, Nook and 1 other person like this.
  6. javal_lon

    javal_lon Member

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    How do porcupines have sex?

    Very carefully
     
    #6 javal_lon, Aug 26, 2022
    ROCKSS, Slyonebluejay, Rocket River and 1 other person like this.
  7. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    What is the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids?

    There are pictures where the money used to be.

    I haven't spoken to my wife in four years.

    I thought it would be rude to interrupt her!

    Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why?

    Inflation.

    DD
     
    #7 DaDakota, Aug 26, 2022
    ROCKSS, Slyonebluejay, Nook and 4 others like this.
  8. RKREBORN

    RKREBORN Member

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    The New York Yankees.
     
    #8 RKREBORN, Aug 26, 2022
  9. droxford

    droxford Member

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    I had to breakup with my girlfriend. She was a tennis player and love meant nothing to her.
     
    #9 droxford, Aug 26, 2022
    BigM, ROCKSS, conquistador#11 and 4 others like this.
  10. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    What do you call a factory that makes average products?

    A Satisfactory

    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

    I'll let you know
    DD
     
    #10 DaDakota, Aug 26, 2022
    Squirtle likes this.
  11. Roscoe Arbuckle

    Roscoe Arbuckle Member

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    Quit allowing this kid posts. He is irrelevent.
     
    #11 Roscoe Arbuckle, Aug 27, 2022
  12. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    I am worried for my calendar, because it's days are numbered.

    What are a Ninja's favorite kind of shoes?

    Sneakers

    DD
     
    #12 DaDakota, Aug 27, 2022
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  13. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
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    I think the word you're looking for is irreverent, Fatty. DD is certainly that.
    Back when my kids were kids, and not grownups long removed from the "family castle," those jokes from Dad (me) would have drawn either groans or boos. Probably both.
     
    #13 Deckard, Aug 27, 2022
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  14. Roscoe Arbuckle

    Roscoe Arbuckle Member

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    You can follow his posts if you want. He is irrelevent. And that is why he keeps screaming louder these days. I won't give him what he wants.
     
    #14 Roscoe Arbuckle, Aug 27, 2022
  15. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    Appreciate the words, but....

    This is a fun thread for dad jokes.

    Thanks.

    DD
     
    #15 DaDakota, Aug 27, 2022
  16. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    #16 Buck Turgidson, Aug 28, 2022
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  17. Roscoe Arbuckle

    Roscoe Arbuckle Member

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    He's irrelevant.
     
    #17 Roscoe Arbuckle, Aug 28, 2022
  18. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    #18 Buck Turgidson, Aug 28, 2022
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  19. conquistador#11

    conquistador#11 Member

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    #19 conquistador#11, Aug 28, 2022
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  20. droxford

    droxford Member

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    Did I tell you about the bedroom set I just bought?

    Salesman tried to sell me insurance on the mattress... it was a blanket policy.

    When it was delivered, thieves stole the pillow off my front porch... I won't rest until I find it.
    Police are trying to find it. They're working under cover.

    The sheets were picking up too much static electricity, so the company replaced them with new ones... free of charge.

    The set came with an electric blanket, which I didn't like at first... but I'm warming up to it.

    I'm considering returning the whole set... I dunno.. . Maybe I'll sleep on it.
     
    #20 droxford, Aug 29, 2022
    Rocket River, JumpMan and DaDakota like this.
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