Hi everyone, Well as you know or don't know, I am an artist. An abstract painter to be exact. My art career began back in '88 when I was 21 and had my first show. Since then I won a **** load of awards from the NEA (now almost defunct...they gave me 5GRAND!) to museums such as The Dallas Museum of Art and lotsa shows all over and so on... Out of habit, I applied for a solo show at the Lawndale Performance and Art Center last year. Oddly enough, they liked what they saw and even though my "proposal" was only half a page long, they gave me a SOLO show in the Main gallery for March 2003. A big deal! Heres my deal. I haven't been in a show for almost two years. I left my a$$hole art dealer almost 4 years ago and things have just quieted down. Much of this time away has been me and myself talking to myself asking myself, "What is this art **** really about?" Everyone says you have to "work it" to make it in the artworld. This is true and I f@ckin hate that! I hate it so much, I've almost completely quit doing art all together. I've met so many rude and pompous people in my art career its just sickening and unreal! Its such a turnoff for me, I just can't "work it". I've done maybe 6 excellent paintings, the best I've ever done in my life, in the past two years or longer. Ya see the problem is not doing things or thinking of things to do , its where that stuff goes when you pour it into the big machine. It kinda gets lost sometimes and really you end up spinning your wheels for an empty arena. I'm 35, is there any of you creative types older of younger, that have thrived at a younger age in your profession, being a creative one or even a more unordinary one, that one day you just didn't want it anymore? I mean like Cat Stevens-n-****! I love that! Isn't that baffling!? I mean **** its just music, its just art, an object, damn I'm just glad to be breathing! I kinda wanna leave it all together for sure... Have any of you gone through this?! What do you think I should do about the damn show?! Just wonderin'
Mr. Oily: I haven't had a fraction the experience or success you have, but I definitely understand artistic burnout. To make a long story short, I spent the first 3 years of high school preparing for art school (I really wanted to be an illustrator), only to decide my senior year that I never wanted to do art again. And with a few exceptions, that's been the case - I haven't done a serious piece since 1998 (and that was an assignment for a psych class). Basically, the solitary nature of drawing was the key to my decision. I've always interpreted the cliche "You've got to suffer for your art" not as a green light to depression, recklessness or hedonism, but as a summation of the consequences of spending a large amount of time pursuing a very inward and self-involved lifestyle. If you're spending time conceptualizing and working on a piece of art, you're going to miss some things along the way. In my case, my social skills pretty much stagnated because I spent all my time with my head in a sketchbook. By the time I was 17, I was much more interested in people than pictures and so I stopped drawing. I also had begun playing music with bands at this time, so my creative outlet wasn't left unfulfilled (and bands are obviously much more of a social thing than drawing). I'm not sure if this is any help for you, as you've obviously spent far more time painting than I did drawing. If it's possible, I would suggest that you stop painting completely for 6 months and try finding something else to expend energy on. If I knew you better, I would make suggestions on the energy expender. However, you probably have close friends who would be better qualified for this than myself. In any case, I would bet that if painting is the right path to you, you will be ready (both in attitude and full of ideas) at the end of the 6 months. But if you get to that point and really don't want to continue, then you shouldn't.
Mr.Oily, I believe Subtomic has a great point. When I was in highschool my life was dedicated to drawing and once I got out and experienced new things that I could aply my artistic cravings to, I felt that I could do that with anything. I now apply my creativity on the computer and I satisfy my self, but I am always eager to learn new ways to use my creativity. BTW, do you do shows here in Houston? I would love to see some of your'e work.
Frankly, I like your paintings and am saddened to think I would not get to experience any new artwork from you. Maybe you need to spend some time alone in the desert? Go on a visionquest or something? Rocketeer.. here ya go... http://mroily.tripod.com/ i know the first image is his and i think 7 and 8 are his... the others i'm not sure. maybe oily will reply and fill us in? http://www.superhit.org mr oily's webpage
mr oily: Man, am I glad you posted this. I started playing music at 14. I was playing professionally by 16 and even played for a living for a while. I played in bands that did really well locally and regionally. I got to play with some really great musicians (famous and un-famous) and got to know even more. In 1997, I had about had it with playing in clubs. From 1994 to 1997, I played in 5 or 6 different bands - rock, Latin, pop, jazz. At one point, I was playing, rehersing and recording with 6 different projects at the same time. I was burnt. My good friend and I bailed out of everything and started recording. I began buying recording gear and we worked our asses off. We found that both in bands and out, the music industry is a ****ty place to be an artist. It can be exceedingly frustrating. I've been at the point over the past year or two where there are days I don't even want to look at my studio or my gear. I used to freak if I didn't play every day. Recently, I've found myself not wanting to play for days at a time. Like any creative person, I think we all go through lulls in our interest. I've been thinking about doing something completely different to get my creative juices flowing again. I'm not sure what I will do but I know that I need a kick in the ass. I recently recorded some high school kids and they had that look of total love for what they were doing. You could see that spark. I know I'll have that back again. Will that mean I'll try to be a rock star at 32? LOL!!! Yeah, right. What it does mean is that I'll get that creative spark back that makes me love playing music. I just need to find something that spurs me on to it. Suffice it to say, I think I know how you feel. Sucks feeling like you hate something you once thought you loved more than anything else, doesn't it? I think it is just the process of growing. I realized that my desire to work harder and harder at what I cared about burnt me out. We all need a break sometimes.
Man, I feel you, oily. Imagine what being on the other side can do to your understanding of art. I quit because I couldn't play the game from the dealer side and because it killed me creatively and bored me intellectually. Now when I see non-famous, unknown work, my first instinct can be to price it! Ugh. And the people that are driving the market? Damn depressing. I have not painted since I started working in the art world. This is close to three years now. I am just now starting to get the itch again and I welcome it. For me it has always been about channeling my energy outward so that it does not go internal and destroy me. Man, if you knew some of the things I did...lol. I don't remember if you ever told me who your dealer was. Anyway, I hope you can figure something out and continue to be productive for yourself. Lawndale main gallery is pretty big...especially if you were just half-assing your proposal. Again, I wish you luck,,,sorry I could not provide help or inspirration, but, obviously, I have been dealing with my own demons.
