I was bored today, and I have just recently seen 8 Mile and the extended version of Lord of the Rings...so it seemed only a natural thing to combine them (did I just say that?). What I did was create a rap "battle" similar to what they did in 8 Mile, but instead of being between two angry gangsters, it is between Gandalf the Grey and Sauron. Feel free to create your own with whatever two characters you want. Perhaps it can be something of a competition. Sauron Come to battle with me, is that what you think? Gandalf the Grey? More like Gandalf the Pink. Your limp staff makes me laugh, you think you can flow? Shazaam! Abra Cadabra! Mekka Lekka High, Mekka Lick my heiney, Ho! Hear it. Fear it. You can't hack it you slow wit. I may be just a spirit, but don't dis me in my castle slummin' You can cast any spell you want, and you still can't get a woman! I command a band of the White Hand beasts East, West, North and South You wave your stick, flap your lips, try some slight hand trick and you can't even get Merry to shut his hobbit mouth! But I'm almost done. Don't cry and don't run. I got one last thing for thee. You can stack it up, hack it up, smack and whack your weak rap schluck Frodo's half the man you wish you could be. Gandalf Well, Sauron, you brought this on yourself. It seems it may be your time. I can go and flow my mojo with the best of them. Allow me this lesson in rhyme. After you get past your taste in fruity jewelry, it's apparent you're just mirrors and smoke You huff and puff bluff your tough fluff stuff, on Middle Earth you're the smallest, big joke. This bling bling ring you bring turns its wearer invisible. Pardon me if I'm not impressed. I killed a Balrog, and my wizard hat, it did rock. A surrender for you I would suggest. Is that staff envy I hear, Sauron? No matter how much you ask, you can't have this. Let's pull out the stops, you brute cyclops, I'll bring my audience to a laugh bliss I now tire of this game, and your antics the same. I'm through with you now, little laddy So as I say goodbye, tell your mom I said 'Hi.'.... And Sauron, NOW who's your daddy?
That was good, but it probably would have made more sense to pit Gandalf against Saruman. By the way, isn't a rap battle supposed to be called a cipher?
Shaq vs Yao Ming Shaq: You think you can play with superman well ya know what, i don't think you can. sure your big, but your built like a twig - if ya wanna mess with me, i'll light ya up like a cig. they call me kazaam cuz i'm da magic man. i post up on you...and boom shazaaaaaaam. number one pick??? and you aren't even built. you play like a 5 year old standin on stilts. Yao Ming: I cannot speak english, but i rap better than you. Your fat, clumsy, and ugly too. Burger King is the only thing you got workin for you. I can kick your ass after a smooth Yanjing brew. My name is Yao, i throw the one two pow pow. I'm also called Ming - cuz i'm so bling bling... in Houston they even got a song they sing... the words...yao ming yao ming yao ming. I'm a worldwide known superstar, I only travel in pimped out cars. When i match up on you i look down so damn far. You say i'm weak? You got your ass kicked by brad miller. My new nickname? the shaq attack killer! okay, well that brad miller thing maybe not...but he did get fouled hard. oh, and i'm not that good at rhyming...so don't mock "the chad".
Yeah, good point. But since both Gandalf and Saruman are wizards it would have seemed weird to have one making fun of pointy hats or staffs. In regards to the other question, it may be called a cipher, I have no idea. The movie 8 Mile is pretty much the only experience I have with the rap music scene.
Yeah, I'm not well versed in rap either, but what you wrote didn't make it seem like you're a rookie. I think I learned cipher my junior year in highschool. Our teacher in our SAT vocab class was a young guy who had just come out of Columbia U. The 4 years in NYC got him into rap groups like the Pharcycde. Anyways, one of the things we did every week in his class was we'd split into two groups and we'd have to write a rap using our vocab words for the week. We used to call it a cipher, even though it wasn't a rap battle where we'd put down the other team.
Professor Murder If a ***** talks ****, I'll shoot him in the gut Causin' hocus pocus like my man, Kurt Vonnegut. Dali Lama A rap, a rap A rap cap nap.
Here is mine and it is Hakkem Olajuwon vs. Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille O'Neal: My nickname is Shaq and I'm the leader of my team In a few years they'll be calling me "The Dream" My dunk is like a gun, more like a Reuger This LSU Tiger will tear up that Houston Cougar I float like a butterfly and sting like Ali If a win another title you'll be wishin' you were me A double-double for the year is what I'm boostin' Come to Texas and I'll straight rule Houston I'm a true blue playa cause I'm with the Lakers Don't be mad cause the Rockets are a bunch of fakers They list you at seven feet but you ain't that tall Goin' against me makes you look much more small I'm at 7' 1" and the number one ball-ah Have cryin' all the way back to Allah Another center like me will be hard to find You think you're greater than me you need to get it out your mind Hakeem Olajuwon: Get ready son cause I'm not too hard to find And when I leave, I'm gon' be stuck in ya mind Who cares if your nickname is Shaq 4-0 in 95 do you remember that Oh by the way Shaq I hate to burst ya bubble But have you ever recorded a quadruple-double Bring it to me and I will rule your lake Make you look real foolish with my famous "Dream Shake" And in 1996 you started sportin' 34 But it's been on my jersey since 1984 You're sorry little baby, complainin' about your toe And to add to all that you can't hit a free throw They call you Superman but that's a bad cue Because everybody remembers when Barkley slammed you My name will always be forever Hakeem And I'm the only one that they'll ever call "Dream"
Rocky vs Terminator Rocky (Sylvestor Stalone) Yo chump, lets see what you got you can talk the talk, but can ya walk the walk. oh wait, you can't talk at all that slur in your speech, the obvious stall. I'm all american, yet an italian stallion. You couldn't terminate me without a battalion. I got the eyes of a tiger and fists of steel. If ya come after me, you'll be my next meal. Cuz i'm the hunter and you're the prey, so if you're smart, you'll just walk away. yo adrian - i did it! Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) uh, i'll be back.
I agree with your distaste for this material, but as a comedian, I find the material in this thread to be thoughtless and non-funny. For f--ks sake, cars and far do not rhyme. This is pathetic, I wish Another Brother could read this. He is a musician and a comedian, he would be very dissappointed.(Although he'll probably shun me in some way) Lil' Pun, you are not included in this. I kinda liked your rhyme.
chill man. can't you f***ing read my whole post??? like the part "oh, and i'm not that good at rhyming...so don't mock "the chad"." I'm not here to make you laugh if you're gonna be a picky b****. You've gotta be the worlds most serious comedian...damn, can't even let guys have a little fun. Obviously if i was writing a f***ing poem or some real s**t then i'd do perfect rhymes...but you know what? it was a two minute post in an online basketball sites forum. Take that stick outta your ass and move on.
That's fine, dude. You don't have to find it funny, and you don't have to contribute if you don't want to, but at least you provided some contstructive criticis.....wait a second. You DIDN'T provide some constructive criticism! You b*stard. I fear I may now have to pop a cap in your ass.
Allen Iverson vs Steve Francis Iverson My name is Allen People be Howlin' After watching me play I am the best in the N-B-A Steve Francis what is he? the other number three? Make da playoffs Steve then you can talk to me Driving the lane Taking the pain Nobody be tougher than me He's just another wannabe. You heard me Steve I won't let you breathe. You'l be my slave every day Watching me and my team reign every May. Francis Allen don't be playa hatin Just cause you're overatted You have nuttin on me I am da real number three Taking the pain? You be injured every other day Bring your sh*t up in my house I'll make you look like Mickey Mouse Playing in May That's just lame. It's all about June My game is a Raging Typhoon You can't hold a candle to me Cause I be da real number three Stroking J after J Makin' you my b*tch every day
