[commercialappeal.com] It's (lack of) business as usual for Griz

Most of us have been pretty happy with offseason moves the past 2 yrs...just thought I'd share a humorous look into how the other half lives

Calkins: It's (lack of) business as usual for Griz
By Geoff Calkins
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July 20, 2005

SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

With what?

The Grizzlies. I'm back from vacation. What did they do?

Nothing.

Not on the court. Of course they didn't do anything on the court. I'm talking about free agent signings, potential trades, that kind of thing. I've been gone a long time. Hockey came back before I did. So, c'mon, what happened?

Nothing.

No, seriously.

The Grizzlies beat Senegal?

Ha.

I'm not kidding. In the summer league. The Grizzlies are cleaning up in the summer league.

But the winter league?

Not so much.

The hot stove league?

Not there, either. Although they did get rid of Stromile Swift.

See! That's what I'm talking about. Shakeups, big moves. Stro's gone, eh? What did they get for him?

Nothing.

In the sign-and-trade, I mean.

He's gonna sign with Houston for the mid-level exception.

Hmmmmpf.

Exactly.

And Earl Watson?

He's going to walk.

Jason Williams?

Still a Grizzly.

Bonzi Wells?

There's hope on that one.

So, since the free agency period began, the Grizzlies have ...

Run up some big phone bills.

Don't you appreciate the effort?

Not really. Imagine a salesman who can't make any sales. When his boss asks about it, he says, "You should see my phone bill."

Ahhhh.

Show me results. Show me something. If the Logo doesn't make a move soon, people are going to start calling him the Slo-Go.

Har.

I'm serious! If the Grizzlies offseason were a movie, they'd call it "I Know What You Didn't Do This Summer."

Ahhh, but the summer's young, isn't it?

That's true. Or middle-aged, anyway. Teams aren't even allowed to make trades yet.

So it's too early to panic.

But not too early to fret, especially given the last two summers. The Grizzlies promised big changes then, too. They ended up talking about the tango.

As in ...

It takes two to tango.

We hear that phrase a lot, don't we?

Yeah. It could be the team slogan. Grizzlies, 2006: It Takes Two to Tango.

So is there any good news to report?

Hakim Warrick looks good. Lawrence Roberts looks even better. And it's been at least a week since Lorenzen Wright complained about something.

What's up with that?

He's mad the Grizzlies didn't donate as much merchandise as usual to his summer camp.

Was he right to be mad?

He's going to earn $7.7 million dollars this year.

Yes, but . . .

He's going to earn $7.7 million dollars this year! Full stop. End of story. If Lorenzen wanted to make sure all his campers got Grizzlies stuff, you think he could have afforded to buy it himself?

Yes, but ...

I don't want to hear any buts. A guy who makes $7.7 million complaining about $1,000 of merchandise is equivalent to a guy who makes $50,000 complaining about -- you ready for this? -- $6.49.

Lorenzen has been a wonderful teammate, a fine citizen and a credit to the Grizzlies and his community. But Staci Franklin works hard as the Grizzlies director of community investment. It was wrong for Lorenzen to drag her into his contract dispute.

So you think he'll get his wish to be traded?

I don't think he's helped his cause, that's for sure. If he can't be happy making $7.7 million for his hometown team, who's to say he's going to be happy anywhere else?

Which means ...

We're right back where we started. The Grizzlies are up against it. They have some serious work to do this summer if they don't want to be overtaken by the Lakers, the Jazz, the Timberwolves and even the Warriors. In fact, as things stand right now, there's only one team out there that doesn't look capable of catching the Grizzlies.

The Clippers?

No, Senegal.

To reach Geoff Calkins, call him at 529-2364 or e-mail