So, I'm the coach of my daughter's 4-5 year old YMCA Kinderhoops team. (We are of course, the Rockets.) We've got 8 players, two of whom are girls, and we play 4 5 minute quarters of 4 on 4. This makes it easy for playing time, as everyone gets 2 quarters. Since it's a coed league, I keep one of the two girls out there at all times and so I don't play favorites, if my daughter plays quarters 1 and 3 one game, she plays quarters 2 and 4 the next. I mix the six boys up. So everything's going fine... we're undeafeated and in the process of spanking the Jazz last night when the 4th quarter rolls around. It's the other girl's turn to play, but she has to go potty right as we're about to start. Thinking I don't want 4 boys on the court, I send my daughter out with the understanding that when the other girl gets back, we'll switch them out. This happens after about 2 minutes. The game ends and we do the line-up/shake hands/good sportsmanship thing, huddle up and do our cheer, and send everyone to the snacks. I then get accosted by two different parents of the boys who played quarters 1 and 3 complaining about me playing favorites by putting my daughter in to start the 4th quarter instead of their kids. I explain the thinking process behind the girl's rotation and one of the parents says, "Well, isn't it convenient that your child just happens to be a girl." I honestly didn't know what to say to that. Thing is, I like coaching kids, but don't see myself doing it for kids much older than 6 or so. I think when the kids are old enough to start taking on some of their parents more repulsive attitudes that I don't want to be there as a coach. Any advice from folks out there who have been through similar stuff? Any stories?
Sounds like you said everything you could say. You had a well-reasoned plan. They just didn't get it.
Exactly. I can't believe people would get that upset at something like this. People need to get their priorities straight. Great example you're setting for the young ones (serious to you rimrocker, extremely sarcastic to the other parents).
I coached a 1st & 2nd grade league for a couple of seasons and can tell you that the worst I saw was not from the parents, but from opposing coaches. I was the assistant coach to a guy whose son played on his team. We spent the entire season trying to teach the kids about basketball fundamentals, as well as teamwork and sportsmanship, but it seemed like some of the other teams' coaches cared only about winning. It was a similar situation to yours rr in that we had just enough kids to sub perfectly in Q1&Q3 and Q2&Q4. Some of the other teams did not, and it was interesting to watch the sub pattern of the other coaches. One particular coach left his 2 best players in for all 4 quarters in a game they were blowing us out ... on 2 separate occasions. The other coach and I thought that the coach of another team was doint this as well... until we realized that his 2 best players were identical twins, and he was indeed alternating them by quarter. The funniest part about coaching kids that age is attempting to discipline them. We would run competitive drills in practice - layups, passing, etc. The first time we did this we instructed the kids that the losing team would have to run 2 laps around the gym. After the drill, we had the losing team start running. About halfway through the first lap, the winning team started begging us to run too. I had forgotten how much kids love to run. From then on, the winning team got to run while the losing side stood and watched them. Probably the best thing to do in your case would be to not say a word and continue doling out PT the way you have been. Some (Most?) parents will never be pleased with a coach as long as they have an emotional stake in the game.
I stopped coaching h.s. ball last year. I miss it, but at the same time, I don't miss it. A policy I had and will always have is that I do not discuss playing time or coaching decisions with the parents. Especially in public. I simply tell them, "I will be happy to discuss your childs progress with you in my office, but I will not discuss any coaching decisions I make or the amount of playing time any child gets." That will either shut them up or set them off. If it sets them, just ignore them. They are not in the condition to be reasoned with. Don't get discouraged. Coaching is wonderful. You have a good sysem. Stick to it. Just wait until you have to bench players or limit playing time...
I have coached my two daughters softball teams for about 5 years now. I haven't had too many parent problems. Next year on her team is when there is no more free substitutions and everyone doesn't bat, so that is when I expect some problems to occour. My youngest ones team is coach pitch, and I am the pitcher. The only problems I have had is the pitches are : too high, too low, too fast or too slow. If the parents think they can do a better job, come help at practices and games, if not, cheer the team and thank the coach for his time helping.
I have a good friend who coached girls AAU basketball and I was an assistant for awhile. These rosters are comprised of girls who play high school basketball. Issues around playing time got really ugly because this is a venue for college recruiting. Naturally, most of the girls and virtually all of their parents want them to get basketball scholarships to college. The girls would cry on occasion and the parents would bristle when someone felt that they/their child was not getting adequate playing time. There were a few very sharp "conversations" between the coach and the parents. I playled HS basketball as a junior in high school but was a bench warmer on a team that went 24-10 and primarily played seniors. I coached high school basketball for one year right out of college. At the beginning of the season, I gave everyone significant floor time. It became quickly apparent that the kids didn't want that-- even the kids who would routinely be sitting on the bench. Some were evidently just happy to be on the team, so I resorted to playing a shallow rotation in an effort to win more games. Coaching is a tough job. I got paid $75 a year for it.
I coached my son's soccer team for 4 years (ages 12-15). I was only questioned on 2 occasions. This was mainly due to 3 things. 1. First and foremost I was lucky to have good parents. 2. I was the only person willing to coach. 3. I made it clear (in a joking way), that anyone who had questions about my coaching strategy was the new assistant coach and would be expected to be at all practices and games. They took it to heart. The parents knew that I was volunteering to do something they weren't willing/able to do and they gave me sufficient respect for that. I did have a parent's meeting prior to each season. I wanted to make sure they knew that if their kids were really, really serious about becoming high school/college soccer players, that they needed a different team and coach because I was not qualified. I also let them know what was expected of them. I also explained that every kid would play in every game, but some kids would play more than others. I strongly suggest that if you continue to coach that you meet with the parents prior to or during the season so that they understand what your plans generally are. You can slo see who is willing to volunteer to help out.
How the hell do 4-5 year olds play basketball? I'm not sure I could even throw the ball all the way up to the basket until I was like seven.
I remember in elementary school the goal seemed so high when we balled. I would love to dunk the crap out of it now
Small ball, six foot goals, no stealing on the dribble, stealing passes is OK, no blocking shots but hands can go up, no walking or double dribble calls, no called fouls, no foul shots (just ball out). It's more like little kid soccer in that everyone crowds around the goal and occasionally a shot makes it up out of the scrum into the hoop. Often, the kid with the ball is guarded by their own teammates who are screaming "I'm Open!" I've got two kids who somewhat understand the concepts... they grab a defensive rebound and take off while the other seven or so are still looking at each other. Been working on the passing aspect, and last night, we had two good passes, which is two more than our previous record. It really is fun (except for the parents) and everyone's scored at least once this season and everyone's improving with dribbling and defense.
btw, rimrocker I think you did the right thing. You may want to give the other girl 2 extra minutes in the next game to show the parents that you aren't playing favorites.
I've got some great video of both of my older kids playing Y basketball when they were 6 and 8. You've never heard as much screaming "I'm open!" as you will at one of those games. rim: do your kids want to launch a bunch of 3-pointers? That was always a great temptation at my kids' games.
I'm so glad that I coach a high school team... but then again, I coach Lacrosse... most kids dont even know what that is until they get to high school, or seen American Pie enough to know what that sport Nova plays is.... The parents are very supportive, and a lot of parents that come out to games are seeing it for the first time - I dont think I've ever heard a parent complain in the three years I've been in the sport. sounds like those parents have a stronger desire for their kid to play basketball than the kid does.... and that's just sad. and I agree with smokey - maybe 2 extra minutes might appease the parents.
No, we don't have 3-pointers (we're not even supposed to keep score) and if we did have a line, it would have to be within 5 feet of the basket.
the hardest part about working with kids is dealing with crazy parents who tell you how to do your job...
