So here is the story: Nikki 20 years old, 2 boys (2 yr old, 3 yr old), works as a phlobotomist making around $9.50 an hour. Lives in a small house my brother is letting her use for a couple hundred dollars a month. Brittany 19 years old, 1 girl who is 3 years old. Works as a cashier at a restaurant. Only getting part time hours and making around $8 an hour. Both girls are going to school as well. My sister Kathy is 39 and she is the mother of both Nikki and Brittany and she also has a 5 year old. Kathy runs a busy tanning salon 6 days a week. So we have 4 kids 5 years and younger. 3 moms who are busy with work and neither one of them really make enough money to pay for day care of pay a babysitter $8-$10 an hour (and thats being cheap) So whats happening is they are using my mother who is in her 60s and disabled from having a stroke a few years ago. Last year, she actually tripped over a toy that was on the floor and broke her hip and her arm. Yesterday, she was watching one of them by herself and felt like she was about to pass out and had to call 911. Usually between everyone having a day or two off, and my sister taking 2 of the children up to the tanning salon during the day with her (which is very unprofessional), someone is there to offer assistance watching 2 of the kids. What is a solution for this problem? They care for their kids so theyve shyed away from doing government-paid day care because they dont just want to leave their kids in a facility where workers come and go as soon as they do something bad and get fired or take another job that pays a nickel more. Ontop of ALL this, I have a 3 year old son who gets to see his grandmother only 1 month out of the year in total while the others get to see her every single day. If she didn't have such obligations she could see my son more, who lives a state away.
Take them to a DR and have there tubes tied. Why are kids that young having multiple children without financial backing? Sorry OP.
Where are the fathers? No offense, but that's what happens when you have kids before you're ready. Options are limited. Have them make better decisions than they've already made. Likely have to quit school for now and get better jobs.
Father of the 2 boys is in jail for raping a teenager. Father of the Brittany's daughter isn't allowed to see the daughter alone as he stole Brittany's credit cards to buy drugs with. Better jobs is really out of the question. This area they live in is about all there is. In fact they probably make more then the average person living there as most people are forced to have their own businesses. Just a bad situation all around. Know what makes me furious? Last year Nikki went out and bought a 2012 Nissan Maxima and now has a $450 car payment. Smart, eh?
Their best hope is to find a husband. If I were giving them advice, I would tell them to get in good shape by working out, look presentable and start the hunt for a man who can support them. Of course the kids won't help that cause, but that's certainly not an insurmountable barrier.
Seems like a vicious cycle, both kids seem to have the worst possible choice in men. You aren't going to like this, but a lot of that stems from your sister... not exactly great parenting there.
Grandma could go at anytime, as Dick Schaap can attest hip surgery is a crap shoot. I say that to emphasize that they don't really have the option of rejecting government day care for now. Very glad the women are all going to school as that will be the long term solution to all of it. Part-time girl needs to tighten up her class and study schedule to really make a single 15 + 45 weekly block; take away 42 hours for sleep and she should be able to crank out a 60 hour work week.
Cant she take the car back? Why would your sister let her buy a new car? If Kathy is not willing to listen to reason, then your sister needs to dish out some tough love and let her deal with the consequences of her own mistakes.
is anybody going to be productive in this thread? Or is everybody going to just call people they don't even know out on their mistakes?
Though there are some annoying posters, everyone's working with the information the OP has presented.
Ask your brother if he could lower the rent on Nikki's monthly payments. If you explain the situation to him, maybe he'll be more open to the idea? Where is Brittany living? I would suggest both of them either take a semester off from school (or an entire year, if allowable) and work full-time during that time, to have some sort of cash flow. This pays for the car, living arrangements, etc, and everyone's happy. I don't think it is possible for a single parent to go to school, hold down a job and take care of their kids, all the while having everyone be happy. Something has to give.
And the base price on it is also something like $25k+. Why not get something more inexpensive like a Toyota Corolla? Hell, if she got the Maxima because she liked Nissan cars, why not settle for the Sentra or the Altima?
Living beyond your means and buying a 25,000 car with a 450 monthly payment is definitely not smart. A used car with a 150-200 monthly payment would have been just fine. I think the best outcome is putting the kids in a daycare. I'm sure they would qualify for nci (or whatever it is called). Putting that burden on a 60+ year senior is not fair. At that point in their lives they need to be resting and enjoying their days.
Not sure why everyone is dog piling, these arent his kids, they are his nieces children and he is trying to ask for advice, I'm sure he is aware that them having kids was a bad idea.
The mistakes are pretty significant and are what got them in that position. The best thing, in the long and short term, is for them to make better decisions, period. They can try and patch things up with help, like helping them get a better job or lowering their rent, but if they're going to keep making bad decisions, then they'll continue to put a strain on their surrounding family and keep digging everyone, including themselves, into a deeper hole. If they're really that limited in the area they live in, then there's not much to suggest, other than moving into the city. THey should be able to find jobs starting at 10-12/hr more easily or at the same level of pay, but with benefits, like tuition reimbursement.
