http://mcsweeneys.net/2006/7/11moe.html Notes on "Sweet Child O' Mine," as Delivered to Axl Rose by His Editor. - - - - Hi, Axl, Just got your manuscript and demo for the song "Sweet Child O' (sic) Mine." I think we need to talk. As your editor, I am responsible for making your songs as cogent as possible, for helping them reach the high editorial standards your public has come to expect. With this one, I am certainly earning my keep. After several attempts to reach you by phone, I am sending along my notes. Please make appropriate fixes as soon as possible, at which point I can send them to copyediting and proofreading in time for your upcoming studio session. She's got a smile that, it seems to me—Why equivocate? You weaken your point by framing this as a mere personal observation instead of a fact. Reminds me of childhood memories—Redundant. You either have a memory or you're reminded of something. You're not reminded of a memory. Heavy-metal fans won't stand for such writing, my friend. Where everything was as fresh as a bright blue sky—I asked around the office and no one is sure a blue sky is "fresh." You could have a blue sky at the end of a long, sweaty day and there would be nothing fresh about it. And she reminds you of a time when things were fresh? Fond reminiscences of freshness are no foundation for love. Fix. Now and then when I see her face it takes me away to that special place—Again, you're weakening your own argument. Why does the sight of her face transport you only periodically? And is it just her smile or her entire face that does this to you? Because you've already said both. Consistency, Axl! And if I stared too long, I'd probably break down and cry—Why would you do that? Because you miss the freshness you described earlier? I think the whole "fresh" thing is really tripping you up. Also, crying? Wimpy. OK, on to the second verse. She's got eyes of the bluest skies—See, this is just getting worse. Now her eyes are made of sky? Nice imagery, but you just got done saying her smile reminded you of memories of sky. Is this verse actually supposed to a second draft of the first verse? Am I just confused on formatting? Help! As if they thought of rain—Axl, eyes can't think of rain. And even if they could, which they can't, why would bluest skies think of rain? Perhaps less imagery of thinking eyes made of sky and more direct exploration of your feelings? I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain—Well, hell. I guess in your special Axl World anything is possible. Eyes can be made of sky, ponder the weather, and exhibit pain in amounts that can be weighed. Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide—Delete. Fix. Do something. You'd hide in a place that reminded you of hair? Never show me such phrases again. And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by—Whew. OK, listen to me now: Thunder can't quietly do anything. It's thunder. And, more importantly, do you really want to come across as a wuss who's constantly on the verge of weeping and skittering into hair caves to escape from rain? Is this a song about love or climatic anxiety? You need to work these things out. Finally, Axl, I think we might have had a misunderstanding regarding my previous notes. When I wrote in colored pencil "Where do we go now?" I wasn't offering that as a lyric. I was simply observing that, in narrative terms, the song needed to progress in some way. You love the girl, she's helping you work through some issues, whatever. So where do we go now? But instead of providing a satisfactory conclusion, you simply took my note and repeated it over and over again before ultimately just stating the title of the song. This is unacceptable. Don't ask us, the listeners, where we go. That's up to you as the writer! Tell us where we go now! Again, let's try to fix these things soon and get "Sweet Child of Mine" ("My Sweet Child"?) into your fans' hands as quickly as possible. Because, frankly, if it should ever hit the street in its current form, the song would be a colossal failure. Talk soon! Your Editor
Who the hell is Timothy McSweeny? Sounds like some guy locked in the basement to me. Great song with great lyrics.
Uh, I think he's joking. I thought it was funny and makes some sense if you really look at the lyrics line by line.
Somehow I don't see Axl Rose laughing at it. I thought the guy came off as being a show-off. I'm sure I'm way off. In the past (on occasion), when people spoke sarcastic, I mistakened it for train, and missed it, but I was stoned.
Geez, guys. Lighten up. It's just a joke that seems to be had more at the writer's expense than Axl's - making fun of the no talent hacks that tend to be the administrative powers at many labels. The whole this song will be a colossal failure in its current state should have tipped ya'll to that. I thought it was pretty funny - especially the whole skittering into hair caves thing. Good stuff.
i thought it was hilarious. some of y'all should look into acquiring a sense of humor and/or sarcasm detector.
lol Now that was pretty funny..... I agree though, Mister BobFinn... It is INDEED a good song........ however! Great lyrics? You sir, are mad.
that was pretty funny. on a serious note, Axl does write some awesome lyrics, but i wouldn't categorize this one as one of them.
axl rose is my urban junkie poet. you can have your burroughs, give me rose. Guns N' Roses One In A Million Guess I needed Sometime to get away I needed some peace of mind Some peace of mind that'll stay So I thumbed it Down to sixth and L.A. Maybe your greyhound Could be my way Police and n***ers That's right Get out of my way Don't need to buy none of your Goldchains today I don't need no bracelets Clamped in front of my back Just need my ticket till then Won't you cut me some slack Chorus: You're one in a million Yeah, that's what you are You're one in a million, babe You are a shooting star Maybe someday we'll see you Before you make us cry You know we tried to reach you But you were much to high Much to high Much to high Much to high Immigrants and faggots They make no sense to me They come to our country And think they'll do as they please Like start some mini Iran Or spread some ****ing disease They talk so many ******* ways It's all greek to me Well some say I'm lazy And others say that's just me Some say I'm crazy I guess I'll always be But it's been such a long time Since I knew right from wrong It's all the means to an end, I, I keep on movin' along Chorus Radicals and racists Don't point your finger at me I'm a small town white boy Just tryin' to make ends meet Don't need your religion Don't watch that much TV Just makin' my livin', baby, Well that's enough for me Chorus
Somebody needs to write Robert Plant a memo and tell him that his lyrics to Stairway to Heaven are stupid...I mean, "She's buying a stairway to heaven"??? How do you buy a stairway? Don't you have to buy the whole house?
It's ok. There are some things in life that certain people don't get. This just happens to be one of those things, my friend. That was good stuff. So funny, yet so true!
