bloopers at work/school

I spilled some hot sauce on my pants this morning while eating breakfast, so all day today I've been walking around looking like I pissed myself. Does that count?

 

I hit a girl in middle school. I swear I thought she was a dude.

 

I was going to high school one day and it was raining like a biotch. So I parked and was running to the door when my foot slipped and I slid face first about 30 feet through the grass like I was on a slip and slide. I was completely soaked from head to toe. I had to go into the school drenched (and it seems that everyone I knew saw me) and tell someone what happened and they let me go home and change.

 

I accidentally called myself EASY at work once.

My friend and I were cleaning up after we had a catered lunch, and I was stacking up the cartons of leftover food, and my friend asked me if I had it, to which I answered of course. I then tried to pick it up, and the tower of food started to lean, he said "EASY" to which I was trying to answer that I'm easy(like the laid back, easy going, go with the flow sense of the word) and all that came out was "Have you met me?"

NICE.

 

We have an intercom system to page people here at work. The button for paging is right under the button for my co-workers extension. So I clicked the page button instead of his extension and I said "Hey b!tch wtf is your lazy ass doing?" I heard sort of an echo when I said it and I didn't hear a response. Then I looked down at the phone and saw the page button was lit up. Man did I feel like a horse's patoot.

 

I'm sure I've had some good ones but i just dont remember now.

I can remember one "oops" thing i had happen was forgot my belt one day and another time my pin leaked in my pocket...probably the only time in history I wished I had a pocket protector ...I like that shirt too

The worst verbal oops, well one that sticks out most in my brain, was in 9th grade biology. I was reading outloud and the word "organism" popped up...Well I said "orgasm". Of course everyone cracked up and the teacher lead the charge.

 

someone's getting a good christmas gift

 

In middle school, I remember we were in music class and this guy named Phillip was telling me some hysterical jokes while I was trying to hol in my flatulence. The teacher stops the film we were watching and is putting everything up so it is rather quite except for the whispering from students. Needless to say, I let a loud one rip, right behind my school-day crush. This happened again 2 years after except I did it in somebody's face after they were leaning over to pick up something on the ground.

 

was it a good one you let rip? if it was I am guessing your crush fell for you right then in there.

 

I slipped in a mud hole outside Katy High School when I was walking to a class in Oct. 2004. I will never forget it...My butt and the upper legs of my jeans were absolutely smeared with thick brown mud, and everyone looked at me like I had just **** in my pants. Doesn't help that my last name is Hanus, which was often deliberately mispronounced as "Heinous" by my classmates and then evolved into just plain ol' Anus. I was known as Anus, the girl covered in ****, for that month of senior year.

 

My freshman year in college (6 years ago) we were taking a final in our business class. There's about 300 of us in the auditorium and there was a girl fine as hell that finished pretty early and she was like one of the first people to finish so everybody looks up... anyways on her way down to turn in the test she slips on one of the stairs and falls face first and you could hear an echo in the building. Ouch.

 

Grinding teef...... trying hard not ....... to laugh..........





















BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats hilarious!

 

Chalk this up to horrible planning on my part, but...

Before my first shift waiting tables I went to the eye doctor for an exam. Of course, when I got to work my eyes were dialated like crazy so my sight was even worse than usual (I was at the eye doctor because I needed glasses).

So here I am, blind as a bat as I get seated with my first table ever. I calmly grabbed two appetizer plates and two sets of silverware and began to approach the table. As I saw the two ladies sitting at the table, I lowered my head and recited my opening line to myself one last time - "Hello, how are you ladies doing this evening?".

Upon setting their places, I greeted them as planned. Just in time to realize it was a woman and her husband.

 

I have called my love-making partners by the wrong names - but I always cover myself very smoothly by saying something like, "Oh, don't worry - I call every girl I'm about to get it on with 'Bob'."

 

heinous anus...how immature




thats hilarious!

 

Co-worker Lady: [while talking to someone else] "Yeah... so... we were fishing one day, and..."
Me: "You and your husband?"
Co-worker Lady: "Yes, my husband."
Me: "Is that him in the photo [pointing at her desk]?"
(The dude was in a robe in the picture, somewhat looking like a priest. )
Co-worker Lady: "Yes, bless his soul."
Me: "Excuse me? Why 'bless his soul'?"
Co-worker Lady: "'Cuz he went with GOD."
Me: "Oh, he became a priest?!?! "
Co-worker Lady: "Uh... no... he died."
[awkward silence]
Me: "Uhhh... ummm..."
I walked away.

 

wow... I would probably feel about 2 inches tall after that.

 

EXACTLY.

"Something told me 'Run with it, Bart...! Run with it!'... but... I thought... am I becoming the CLASS clown!?!?!?" - name that episode