why have kids when you are the cool uncle (or aunt)? you get all the benefits of playing, advising, and teaching them without the drawbacks of parenting. i love that i can have their company for a day and drop them off at someone else's home at night. being their mentor is extremely satisfying, especially knowing that they trust you more than their parents because you don't talk down to them. i never wanted kids and having these experiences with my nieces and nephews further solidifies those feelings. i get the love from them that the parents get. parents will say, "it's not the same." they're right, it's better! who's with me?
Often times cool uncle later becomes crazy uncle and they distance themselves. Then the withdrawals come, but by then it's too late for kids of your own... full speed on the way to crazylonelyuncleland. Cats, birds, and zombieturtles will be necessary to fill the void. Buy Petco stock.
It's not the same. But, since I'm a parent, I guess that invalidates my opinion. I'm sure your siblings are happy to have the help in raising and caring for the kids, so kudos to you. As far as parenting goes, being a cool uncle is a big step above doing nothing, so you're fighting to good fight.
I have a nephew who's about 2.5 years of age. We both share an addiction to chocolate (behind his mum's back of course). Plus I can just take him back to his mum's place (2 streets away) when he gets cranky.
i don't think it has anything to do with being a crappy parent. a lot of kids would just rather talk to someone else. my parents were great, but i enjoyed talking and hanging out with my uncle more.
enjoying talking and hanging out with is understandable. but trusting them more than your own parents is an indictment of their parenting. my opinion anyway.
I have graduated from being the cool uncle to being the cool great uncle. The best part of all that is I get to play with all the kids but I've never changed a diaper.
maybe "trusting" wasn't the right word. a more appropriate description would probably be "comfortable". really, as a kid would you rather talk to your parents or your uncle about personal issues? parents try to sugarcoat things all the time and i think kids are smart enough to see right through it.
I see what macalu is saying. Somethings your aunts, uncles, cousins, etc can be easier to talk to about certain things that parents may not understand/handle well or something that their kids just might not be able to bring themselves to say. It's a different kind of trust. Like they see each other more as equals.
I definitely enjoy being the cool uncle. However, the direct impact you seek to make is dependent on whether or not the kid has good parents. If the parents are great, anything you say (positively) would just reinforce what the parents are saying, thus limiting your diminishing your influence. They'll chalk it up to good parenting and...thats it. Cool uncle may be forgotten. If the parents do suck, yeah you'll be a great uncle, but the kids may resent their parents. With that being said, being a loving and caring uncle is great, but you're probably better of making a life long impact with your own children.
I'm the cool uncle and a parent. Being a parent is way better. It's scary how much I love my little girl. That said, I totally support people not having kids unless they have a STRONG desire to do so. Way too many people procreate, just because it's expected of them.
My nephew said I gave him the best anti-drug talk of anyone. We're about 9 years apart so it's more of an older brother relationship. Great kid even though he goes to LSU.
