September 8, 2001 Houston (AP)- Notorious ClutchCity BBS Clique member Behad was arrested early this morning following a 6 month undercover investigation into the alledged strong arm tactics of the famous clique. Police investigators have charged Behad with newbie assault and battery, conspiricy to deny newbies free posts, and racketeering. The arrest is the culmination of a widespread investigation of the BBS clique. Detective Mango of the BBS serious police infiltrated the clique, working deep undercover to expose the activities of the clique, said to be the largest of its kind on the internet. "These guys have conspired to oppress and denegrate all the new members of the ClutchCity BBS. Using both ridicule and ignore tactics, newbies were shamed into not posting, or worse, newbies were forced to engage in heinous discussions with crispee concerning the state of their asses, whether they be sunshine or negative", Detective Mango said in a prepared statement. The arrest of Behad was only the beginning. Once he was in custody, many other high ranking members of the clique were also detained, including: Dr. of Dunk, aka "the planner", who set up the clandestine meetings of the clique in various locations around the country; RocksMillenium, aka "the mole", who was known to chase newbies across other BBS sites on the web; Almu, leader of the East coast group. His influence over newbies was believed to spread from across110thstreet all the way to NJRocket; Achebe, head of the west coast group. He was able to elude capture for several days by placing a "Utah Jazz #1" bumper sticker on his car, and a blow up doll in the likeness of Karl Malone in the window of his house. Police discovered the ruse when the doll deflated during the playoffs; rockHEAD, aka "the stalker", was arrested in his Heights area home, where investigators found thousands of pictures of newbies, all shot from an above ground angle at some type of supermarket environment; mr. oily, who eluded capture by staying out of the Rockets forum completely. Upon his capture he was quoted as saying "There's a Rocket's forum?"; oeilpere, aka "the insider", head of the clique's mis-information division. His job was to post tantillizing tidbits to the board to draw newbies into the clique's web; The Cat, aka "the Homer". His duties within the clique included ensuring that no newbie ever spoke negatively about any Rocket player, no matter how badly they sucked; SmeggySmeg, aka "the joker". Smeg headed the large Aussie wing of the clique and was in charge of most of the sarcasm distributed by the group; BobFinn*, aka "the poster", known to confuse and overwhelm newbies with the sheer volume of his posts. Police are still searching for more members of the clique. Among those still at large are ROXRAN, DEANBCURTIS, RocketsPimp, Will, and fadeaway. Some are believed to be hiding under an alias, including verse and Peudlfor. Reaction to the arrests vary. Reporters questioned many on the BBS to get there comments. Among many posts were found these comments: Manny Ramirez: "I knew it! I knew it! I knew there was a clique!" PeteRoseMobster: "I feel I belong in the Hall...errrr...clique. I made one bet on the BBS and now I serving a lifetime suspension. But my day will come. I will have my rightful place in the Hall of...errr...I mean in the clique." ZRB: "It's over! We're screwed. Lottery here we come!" gettinbranded: "I don't see what the big deal is. The Bulls clique will be much improved this year and everyone will forget about the ClutchCity clique." NIKEstrad: "Let's be real here. This clique did not have what it takes to make the playoffs. I'm just being realistic." DaDakota: "I was never in the clique. I know, I said I would participate, but I changed my mind." Jeff: "I knew eating meat would lead to this. Once these clique members smelled the blood of a newbie, a feeding frenzy always followed." Police warn that the mastermind behind the clique has yet to be captured, and urge all newbies to be on the lookout for posts by LHutz. Detective Mango states "DO NOT attempt to capture Hutz on your own, and do not engage him in a battle of wits. He is unarmed." As Behad was being remanded into custody, he was asked for one final statement in his defense. He said: Enjoy #3000, everyone!
I vehemently deny all charges and claim no affiliation with any ROckets fans from New Jersey. .....so was this an insult or should I be honored that I even got some publicity out of all this. great thread B
LOL! I wasn't chasing him, I was just following him and casing out the joint! Congratulations, classic post!
Behad: That was funny!! Your thread gets my vote for best thread for next year's "ClutchCity Awards".
And here I thought you really were arrested and CC.net members would have to take up a collection to bail you out. I wonder if any newbies would contribute?
Me? Arrested?? I'm a perfect, law-abiding, God-fearing, morally upstanding citizen in real life. *looking up for the thunderclouds that are about to appear*
I'd be offended that I wasn't included despite being here in the BBS so long -- but I guess that's the whole point of a clique in the first place.
