http://www.turbovan.net/van.html North Carolina tax rates on profits from illicit substances, yall be honest when paying your taxes, we promise there will be no recrimination whatsoever: http://www.dor.state.nc.us/taxes/usub/usubrates.html This guy likes Flight Simulator a tad bit too much: http://members.chello.nl/~s.ferris/ Yes, I am extremely bored at the office.
Heh...just got this in my inbox: A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Here's one I just got.. Fart Football An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" "Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about ten minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown I'm ahead 14 to 7." Now starting to get into it, the wife quickly farts again and says "Touchdown, tie score." The old man, not to be outdone, strains really hard but to no avail. He can't fart! So, not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has, trying for one more fart. Straining real hard, the old man craps in the bed. The wife asks, "What in the world was that?" The old man replies, "Half-time....switch sides."
A gal walks in to a bar and right up to the first guy she sees. "I'm available tonight but I've got to warn you I'm very kinky" He says " Kinky huh? I can handle that" And off they go to her house. She says' why don't you make yourself at home whlie I get ready' and off she goes , back to her bedroom. She gets out of her dress, stretches on her latex body suit, zips up her thigh high, six inch heel boots, gets her feather duster out, unties the trapeeze, cues up her 'Jungle Love' video to elephant scenes and walks out to the living room just as the dude is walking out the door. She says " hey where are you going, I told you I was kinky before you agreed to come over' Kinky? Hell lady I already sh*t in your shoe and scr*wed you cat, I'm done.
