I couldn't find the original, so I started a new one. Conan told this one at the Apollo : "hey, did you hear about the French attacking that McDonalds in Paris? They ripped off his mcnuggets. His mcnuggets." Conan slowly exited the stage. Yakoff Smirnoff : HMan, there are rap groups everywhere now. They even have one in Russia. It's called Run KGB."
How much can a koala bear?? get it?? I'm sorry. And yes, I know that a koala isn't a bear, its more closely related to a wombat.
Will Reggie be driving to the Rose Bowl this year for UT vs Florida? Did you hear about what happened when all of the Aggies moved to Oklahoma? The average IQ increased in both states.
To take off on Greg#3's joke What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decaffeinated (de-CALF-inated) --------------------------------- What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he still ain't gonna come.
A Frenchman stumbles into a Canadian bar. The American sitting at the bar asks him why he is so tired, and they start to drink... The Canadians could have had British culture, American technology, and French cuisine. Instead they got British food, French technology, and American culture... You've got to be really politically oriented to get that one, but it IS the best one I know... I'm sorry.
on the "no legs" theme... What do you call a dog with no legs? NOTHING, because he won't come anyways!
I work with an Aggie tech and every morning I come in to work I see this guy polishing his PC monior screen. I never say a thing to him, until one day when I get particularily irritated with him, or traffic or something. "What the hell are you doing cleaning your screen every morning ,gawdammit?" I ask. "Okay,okay .... I make lots of mistakes with this computer thing,okay. So, like ... every day I come in and have to clean off the White Out from the day before!" he says in a straight face. Then he stares at me as I stare back at him ..... I'm shaking my head in disbelief ..... and he says .... "... and my name is Larry, not Gun Rumit!". I answer: "I never called you GunRumit .... I said gawdammit!" He says: "What?" --- "GAWDAMMIT!!!!!" He says with gawky look on his face: " I didn't sneeze. But you're welcome." Aggies are a breed apart.
<i>Why men don't make good secretaries...</i> A husband's note on the refrigerator to his wife says.... Someone from the Guyna College called.... They said Pabst Beer is normal.
What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean beef A guy walks into a bar to have a drink. There is no one in the bar but him and the bartender. The bartender is off cleaning shot glasses. While the guy drinks the beer he ordered, he hears something say, "Nice haircut." When the customer asked the bartender if he had praised his haircut, the bartender replied, "Oh, that's just the peanuts. They're complimentary."
Thats hillarious!! Heres another: What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish (tuna fish)!!