Well she is single; we had the small talk early on and lately just had some downright awesome conversations and laughs between us. I always randomly catch her glancing over at me (not my drink) and she’s always hovering near me when she has to work and asking me to go out with her to smoke a cig. When I leave, saying I better come back and see her when she works again (Tuesday) Its just pretty hard to tell if she’s just that good at working me up, or there is something there. I am not one of those creeper tippers who give stupid amounts, but I am no cheap ass either so I don't think its cause I am overly generous. I just need to try and play it by ear and see her reactions to certain subtle signals i guess. I see just as a pretty cool challenge, and the reward seems worth it at least. I just figured I would ask you guys for discussions sake. That or I can just stop being a damn vagina and just ask her straight up.
Took home a bartender a few times when I was in college...you should be able to tell if she is genuinely interested in you or whether she is just humoring you because she is a nice person who wants tips. Have some friends meet up with you but show up early, at a time when the bar isn't crowded, and talk to her. You should be able to tell somewhat quickly if there is interest or if she is just doing her job. Be yourself. Have confidence. Don't be a cheesedick I will say, the one I used to hook up with would close the bar and then the staff would booze pretty hard for a couple of hours after closing...good times
Yeah agreed, women seem to have a strong distaste for guys who set themselves up for failure like that. It just wreaks of low self confidence.
How is that putting her on a pedestal? You don't think a moderately attractive bartender gets hit on all the time? It's just stating the obvious. It's also giving her a subtle compliment You guys and your silly pedestal theories.
Women like confidence. Just assume attraction. Just do it like this. "Hey, you know what we are doing on Sunday" Bartender: "What?" You: "Something fun." If you don't ask her, you are basically rejecting yourself. No risk, no reward. Also don't just be in whatever phase you are in with her right now for too long or you will get friendzoned. I've basically learned that through experience. Keep compliments to a minimum during this phase.
Yeah, of course the drink after. And they probably all jammed her up at some point too and thought to themselves, "look at this bozo working overtime for sloppies". Nothing wrong with it though.
First off clutchfans hangout (where people brag about how much they fap) probably isn't the best place to ask. Second as others said confidence is always good. Having gone out with some waitresses from bars I have frequented you should probably do your homework first and find out if she is involved already. Next you should probably get to know her. Stop by enough so she knows who you are. A lot of bartenders / waitstaff also hangout where they work when they aren't working so you should catch her while she is there off the clock and talk to her then. One more thing to add keep in mind if this is a place that you frequent regularly and like be prepared because if things go wrong you might not want to go back or be allowed to. Good luck!
Can't hurt to try, the worst that can happen is that she'll say no. But your chances of success are slim to none. She probably gets hit on 50 times each night.
Stop being a vagina, like you said. There's nothing else for you to do, but ask her out. You've talked her up and she actually was willing to keep talking to you. Sure, she could be working you, but there is only one way to find out, asking her out. I would just make sure to ask her in a serious tone, so she knows you it's a serious matter to you and not just the 5th bartender of the night you've tried to hook up with.
I was with one of my best friends the night he finally nutted up and asked out this one bartender. That was 12 years ago and they're now married and have 2 kids. I was drunk so I don't remember how he did it.
The answer is: everyone has a formula which suits them, and works on a certain % of targets. There is no formula. There's no point asking something you've rehearsed because if it works out then it will obviously have been fake. Just ask her the way you think you should ask her.
I know which one you are talking about For the most part, I stay away from female bartenders. Weak-sauce drinks.
Yessir, this is a green light if you've found this out already. It's GO time. It's normal to feel like this. I am pretty sure that by now she will remember your face if she's interested enough. Let her want YOU. See if she talks to YOU instead of you approaching her next time: Sit at a table or stand in a place not ON the bar, but near it, and see if she calls you out or remembers you. Tease her a bit, now that you know she has spoken to you a few times. Let her start the game of 'seduction' if you think you can't, but don't resist too much. This will show you if she is truly interested.
