[Apple] Jobs Keynote Speech at noon

Maybe it's one of these new products:

I've had it. I can't stare at those hip, aren't-we-clever, "Life is random" ads anymore.

The whole campaign--brilliant, mind you--smacks of a cover-up, a positive spin to the fact that the iPod Shuffle, um, well, sorta-kinda doesn't have an LCD screen.

Somehow, though, the evil-geniuses at Apple convinced us that this limitation, this critical design shortcoming, is actually a good thing.

Why stop at music? By using "Life is __________," Apple can make just about any product, strip away its functionality, and spin it as a hot new feature.

Take these 5 iProducts, which, for all we know, might hit stores this fall.

1) "Life is pointless." iRock.
Perfect for those who already own both an iPod and an iPod shuffle. The iRock is smaller than a cigarette lighter. It's white. It's shiny. And the design is breathtakingly simple: it has no moving parts. No circuitry. No buttons. No earphones. No speakers. It doesn't even play music. Priced at just $49, it's the perfect hunk of hard plastic. Think of it as your own pet iRock. Sling it around your neck while dancing. Like life, the iRock is pointless.

2) "Life is dangerous." iCrash.
Apple's most daring product yet. The iCrash redefines what we expect in an automobile, delivering unparalleled ease, style, and simplicity. Made entirely out of shiny white plastic, the iCrash is only slightly larger than a bobsled, designed to snugly fit the wiry teenager. Just four buttons control the vehicle: left, right, stop, go. To move in reverse, simply hold down the "left" button for a couple of seconds. Safety first? Please. Life is dangerous.

3) "Life is simple." iCell.
It's a fact. Most homeowners spend over 1,300 hours a year on home maintenance. Think about it: you fix faucets, clean gutters, cauk ceilings. Enough. It's time for a change. It's time for iCell. This revolutionary home is smaller than a jail cell and whiter, too. No windows that need washing or linen that needs folding. Just four sleek walls, a shiny plastic floor, and a killer, bone-white ceiling. Simplify. With iCell.

4) "Life is short." iChoke
We've all visited old people in those stuffy hospital rooms. The food is bland and the decor is garish. And the equipment is gray and junky and cluttered with plastic tubes. Not anymore. Check out the iChoke, a sleek new respirator--smaller than a deck of playing cards. To make it ultra-slim, the iChoke is freed of its unwieldy oxygen tubes, leaving you just the sexy slim casing. Life is short.

5) "Life is dirty." iCrap.
Let's face it. Most toilets are a headache to flush, clean, and scrub. And we're all sick of jiggling that little handle. No more. Step into the future with iCrap. This insanely-great toilet does away with antiquated, old-fashioned gimmicks like plumbing and running water. There's no bulky tank or unreliable flush. Just a white, stunningly-simple bowl that you sit on--no need to ever flush again. It fits in your backpack, so you can take it with you on the go. At just $39 a pop, it's a snap to buy another when this one fills up. Life is dirty. iCrap.

Confession time: I broke down and bought an iPod shuffle. And it kills me that I love it.

 

Some nice new features shown in the new OS update.

And I find it very interesting that they are trying to include more options with games.

Starting to wish I had the money for one of the new Macbook Pros.

 

I wonder what Apple paid to EA to get them to support Mac?

I know Bing, and he is one shrewd biz guy....

DD

 

the moment they make a game for the mac like BF2 i am getting an imac..

 

I've been hearing that one for 20 years.

 

This was nice:

"Leopard shipping in October. Basic version, $129. Premium version, $129. Business version, $129, Enterprise version $129. Ultimate version, $129."

 

Safari on XP is pretty damn fast.

 

.1 $129, .2 $129, .3 $129, .4 $129... congrats... you'll end up with a $1000 version of an OS by the time they're done.