At least this one's a little different. My SO (ex-gf) is pregnant and she claims it's mines. Her and her parents are pushing me to marry her or else she'll get an abortion. Here's the difficult part. I don't believe in abortion and that's why this is a difficult decision for me. I don't want to marry this girl because I've dated her for six months and we're on two totally different wave lengths. I'm a man and I'm more than willing to take responsibilities for my actions, but her parents are worried about their face (respect from others). I'm wrong, it's not her parents. Her dad wants her to have an abortion, but her mom is taking her side (keep it, but get married). I think it would be better if I let her have an abortion because I don't want to deal with all the baggage from her and her parents. It's going against my morales, but I think it might be better than the other alternative.
They are blackmailing you into marriage. I would talk to her without her parents around and tell her that you will help her take care of the kid but marriage will just make you both miserable and she won't ever get over having an abortion nor likely will you get over it since you feel strongly about it.
Go borrow someones 2 year old and explain to her that her baby will look like that in a couple years.
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I wish every staunch pro-lifer had to walk in a mile of these shoes... I have impregnated 2 girls in the last 8 years (condoms don't always work). Lucky for me both chose the abortion route. Before impregnating the first - I really didn't have an opinion on the pro-choice/pro-life topic... but after that first one I realized that having that choice was so damn necessary - i was nowhere ready to be a father either time (and still to this day I'm not) - the children of both situations would have suffered from my inability to be a good dad.
Ignore the preaching.........people are going to have sex, been that way since men have had a penis.....but if you don't want to get married, then don't. Tell her you are willing to be a father, but you are not being forced into marriage. I would also insist on a DNA test at some point. DD
I think you're about ready to discover that you don't really have a say in the matter on this, except your choice to get married or not. You might want to focus more on simply supporting her in whatever choice she makes, and realize your "difficult decision" pales in comparison to hers.
Dude. Man Up. Tell her you peice. Let her know .. . Marriage is off the table. PERIOD. Tell her you don't want an Abortion. Period. Tell her you gonna be there for you kid every step of the way. Tell her ya'll can try to see what happens on the relationship but that it is totally independent of THIS decision. Once you have made you decision. Once you have made you peice then the so-called 'choice' is on her. Rocket River If you have the time, money and energy . . fight her in court for your child but . . . being that you are a man . .they don't give a **** if you have a choice or not . .. .
First, get some kind of testing to prove its yours. Assuming it is, I think you should avoid abortion at almost any cost.......why make an unborn child pay for your screw-up? Even if you have to marry the girl and be unhappy, at least the kid will have a chance....
I've already told her this before and she told her family. Her dad wants her to abort, regardless of the situation. She and her mom want to keep it, but only if I marry her. I don't really understand why they're making this more difficult than it is. I'm going to try to talk to her parents again soon, but they're pretty stubborn like her...so I don't think it's going to resolve anything. That's why I'm in this predicament. I want to do the right thing, regardless if I'll be happy or not. It's going to cost me a lot of money for something I don't want (marriage), but at least I'll stand by my beliefs and give this baby a chance. I'm 30 and she's 21. I do see her dads POV, that she might be too young to have a kid/be a mother.
