Top 10 Al Qaeda Health Care Plan Coverage Features 10. You can sue your HMO, but HMOs can kill anyone that sues them. 9. Full dental coverage for both teeth. 8. Beard transplants 100% covered. 7. Plastic surgery for females, not covered - but burqas are. 6. Fifty dollar co-pay on all camel-related injuries. 5. Orthopedic sandals (with note from your Mullah). 4. To see a specialist, must secure permission from your primary-care ayatollah 3. Vision problems? We've got patches! 2. Free coverage for first six wives, half coverage for every wife after that. 1. Al Qaeda doctors still make cave calls.
Bonus: <center>Top Signs that Scottie Pippen and Ossama bin Laden are related.</center> <center></center> Pippen always thought Jordan stole the spotlight Osama always thought Saddam stole the spotlight. Osama plays in caves; Pippen caves in playoffs. Scottie - size 15 sneaker; Osama - size 15 sandal. Pippen: targets shots from three-point range. Osama: targeted by long-range missiles. One drapes towel over shoulders; the other wraps towel around head. Pippen angered by Dennis Rodman; Osama angered by Abdul Rahman. Scottie first dunked basketball when he was twelve. Osama dunked his Wife #1 in the river when he was twelve. Pippen - six championship rings; Bin Laden - six wedding rings. Both agree: the New York Knicks ain't never gonna make it. Pippen finishing out career with Portland Trail Blazers. Osama will finish out career in blaze of burning camel. Karl Malone on Pippen: "He may be the best defensive player ever." Karl Malone on Bin Laden: "He may be the best offensive target ever." Neither really saw eye to eye with Phil Jackson and all that Zen horsesh*t.
