I just wanted to write a few thoughts after a little bit of a rough night tonight.... The older I get, the more and more I realize how it is becoming more and more of a rare thing for a child to grow up with two good (or even one, for that matter) parents. I mean, I got lucky. Sure, there weren't things that I agreed with that my parents did when it came to raising my sister, my brother, and me, but for the most part, my parents raised three smart, level-headed children. They were always there for us. They taught us right from wrong, all the basic fundamentals that any good parent should do. Nowadays, you see so many teenage parents and just young parents in general (I'm 21 years-old and, while I want kids, I don't want them right now) who are so apathetic to the lives of their children. It's sick. Basically, this thread is just in appreciation of my parents and my family. For those of you who have great parents, I hope you take a second to reflect upon how lucky you were. I know I would not be the person I am without the parents I had. For those of you who had great parents, take a second to remember them, and say a prayer. For those of you who never experienced either, take this opportunity to make a vow to yourself that you'll be a great parent or if you don't want kids, you'll just be a better person. Maybe in a few days, I can say what this thread really stems from, but I'm not one to type anything that could compromise a criminal investigation by posting on a message board.....
Amen to that, sir. It is more common, nowadays, for couples to just QUIT and say "to heck with this" instead of sticking togetherand trying to rekindle what once made those kids. Divorce has become a "common" thing. I will NEVER quit on my kids.
I was lucky. Came from a two parent family (although my Dad's been gone for a long time) and my wife and I have been together over 30 years, raising two teenagers we had very late in our career. I hope whatever is going on isn't too hard on you. Good luck.
I have great, great, GREAT parents. Love them to death. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. My only concern is that I don't think my parents know how much I appreciate everything that they have done for my siblings and me. As sad as it may sound, it's hard for me to let them know how much I love, care, and appreciate them. Yet, at the same time, the "I love you's" are understood and go unsaid. It's just the way my parents, and Asian parents in general, are. I'm the same with you. I'm about to be 21, and can't wait to have kids of my own, but just not any time soon. I'm in no position whatsoever to start a "family."
Well... just because you're a young parent doesn't mean you cannot be a good one. I was 21 when I became a parent and I think i'm a good one. Anyway, i'm sure there's something sad that's behind this post so I won't beat you up.
It doesn't deal with me or my family or anything directly. It's just the first thing that I've ever had at work that has hit home directly with me. Couple that with the fact that it probably didn't have to happen, and then add that to my recent trip to Houston to visit my family, and you get this thread...
No, no, not what I meant at all. I'm talking about the 16 year olds that are having kids only to forget that they ever had them shortly after. The ones that pass off all responsibilities to their own parents or society. I don't consider 21 to be that young of a parent. It's just not for me. My mom had my sister when she was 19, and my family turned out great. It's not all about age, but with youth comes apathy a lot of the time.
My dad is very weird - an uber-paranoid, "we-need-to-get-things-back-to-the-past-when-America-was-great" right winger, yet a vegetarian health nut at the same time. My mother is the level-headed one of the two, but grated my nerves for constantly criticizing me growing up for not being feminine enough. I argue with them about politics all the time, but they're the types of people who absolutely refuse to consider the opposite viewpoint. We had really weird religious family rituals growing up, and it embarrassed my sister and I for years. My dad's overprotectiveness made us so angry (I had a 9:00 curfew my senior year of high school). His crazy rantings and short temper actually strained their marriage when I was a freshman in college - my mom nearly moved out. But I guess they patched things up and they're doing better now. I can only take them in small doses before I want to tear my hair out. But of course...I would never trade them for the world. They may be extremely weird and neurotic...but who isn't? My biological father bailed when my mom got pregnant, and my dad adopted me when I was three. They love my sister and I and provided everything we possibly needed or wanted. I'm graduating in 3 weeks from college with no debt...and I've never had more than one small part-time job. There's many, many things I will do differently when I have kids, but I am so grateful to my parents for their love the sacrifices they made for us.
My reason for living is to be the best parent I can be and to mold my 2 kids into the best people they can be. I tell them 3 things everyday before I leave for work... 1. Always do your best 2. Always do what is right 3. I will always love you
good thread... as a new parent of a 3.5 mos old daughter I hope I can raise her to learn right from wrong, be responsible, nice to others, ethical etc... I agree that there are a lot of unresponsible parents but I don't think its as bad as you think it is. There are a lot of great families out there also, they just don't get the news unfortunately. I was lucky and from a two parent household and am very grateful for what they did for me and hope to do the same for mine.
+10000000000000 although im not perfect i also strive to be the best parent. i have a 6yr old(big brother) and a 1 yr old(little sister) and cant think of having a life without them. ill be married 7yrs this year and there have been ups and downs and my two kids are what get me through the day.
your not alone...although they drove me nuts at times im very grateful for both mom and dad and wouldn't trade them for the world. when i lived with my parents thats basically the way it was for me parents arguing all the time blah blah blah. wether you think you have good or bad parents or both, just learn from their experiences and apply that knowledge to your life....youll be fine congrats for almost graduating
My Mother (Not Dorothy Mantooth) is a saint, as far as I'm concerned. 4 kids. 3 siblings she'd never live up to. 2 husbands, one who treated her like **** and another who she gladly gave up her dreams and did what he wanted just so she wouldn't be alone. I've never seen her ask for anything her entire life. There are things I'd wish she would have done differently for her own sake, but homeschooling 4 unruly brats is a Herculean task that few individuals could undertake in this day and age. As for dads, I wasn't lucky enough to have one growing up. I had a deadbeat piece of crap who split when I was younger and a step dad who after a few months of trying decided that at 8 years old, I was just obviously never going to come around to getting used to him as a father. I have a whole list of things to do once I have kids. Step 1.) Be around.
I was 17, and given that that kid is now 20 and is far more well-adjusted than I have ever been, I don't think my age was too much of a hindrance (and his mother was just barely 18 when he was born). My parents weren't so good at being parents. I hear my Dad got better as time went on (I have a half-sister who's 11 years younger than I am, and two half-brothers who were born after I moved away), but he was about as absentee as can be when I was growing up (Even when we lived in the same house, we could go weeks without seeing each other) since he worked over 80 hours per week and would frequently get paged in for some surgery even when he wasn't technically working, and my mother had serious issues with depression. It wasn't a bad childhood. I think my parents did the best that they knew how to do at the time, and I have plenty of good memories that I hold on to a lot tighter than the bad ones.
My Mom was a German w****. My Dad always told me that he would have given my Mom an extra $50 if he knew that I was gonna come out 9 months later. Good ole Pops.....always thinkin of others.
Welcome to my world. Everything you said is so true. Especially the bold. I do think your parents understand though and they're probably very proud of you.
The OP and Swoly acts as if those of us who were raised by a single parent can't be smart/level-headed/successful/thankful etc.... I'm sooo thankful that I was raised by my mother in a single parent family. It would have sucked if my dad had stuck around. I'm blessed and me and my sister turned out just fine. I have a successful career and a master's degree and my sister is a Phd with a family of her own. I don't think divorce is really all that bad as some of you who were raised in a two parent family think that it would be.... Not a big deal, IMO.
