I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the disparaging things you have had to say about my fair city. No with all do respect please don’t let my boot hit you on the way out the door. We’ve spent two years cleaning up for these jackasses and we still can’t make them happy. I feel like a guy that has been out of high school for ten years and is getting ready to go to his reunion. He has put on 30 pounds and is ashamed of it so he bought some pants that were too small for him and stuffed his fat ass into them. He bought the latest most fashionable clothes that didn’t match his natural style. Now he’s at the reunion, he can’t breathe, he’s sick of trying to act like it’s cool and is ready to go home. I am ready to flex my gut and fire the button of my too-small pants across the living room like a BB. I am ready to take off the mask and say, “HEY WORLD! HERE I AM! LIKE ME OR LEAVE ME I DON’T GIVE A ****!!!” I am ready for HPD to load all of the psychotic bums that they’ve stowed away in some warehouse up in a bus and deliver them back where they found them. I am ready to flip that guy off with the Jersey plates and stop wearing this smile. I am tired of making excuses for who we are and where we live. I am tired of responding to charges against my city with attacks on wherever they are from. When they say our skyline was designed by school of architect dropouts I say, “Yep. It sure was. And they were on ‘shrooms when they did it. Now take a hike jack-hole.” When they complain that the city was built on a swamp I invite them back in the summer for a real treat. Oh, and when I read their witty ‘Houston, we have a problem’ reference I will compliment them on their originality and encourage them to spend the weekend with a cross-dressing millionaire in Galveston. And when they mention how there are topless bars and whorehouses everywhere I tell them they are damned right and to take the next bus outta here so the cops will lay off the freakin’ 3 foot rule like they do when we are not putting on a show. These dickwads are forcing a complex on us that we never hadb before they arrived. My city is great. The people are weird, wacky, peculiar, and just as f’d up as those in any other city. To the newspaper writers of planet earth: Enjoy your stay then leave. And don’t bother cleaning up after yourselves. We like having crap all over our streets. It feels homey.
Why don't you go and tell them, given that registrations are turned off and only registered users can view the bbs, I doubt they will get your message here.
You oughtta get airtime to do stuff like this once a week Chance. What's pissing Chance off this week kinda of deal. You can put yourself on, can't you?
I smell a song idea, Chance: Sung to the tune of "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe You hate our rain and balmy weather And you hate our streets and traffic too And you don't like a thing about our city, no no And you, you, you hate the Houston suburbs too But we hate everything about you ...everything about you You don't like a thing about our zoning And you, you hate our light rail's guts too You don't like a thing about our strip clubs Cuz you, you, you think sex is overrated too And we, get sick when we're around, we can't stand to be around We hate everything about you We say you got a bad attitude But you can kiss our ass and lick off our poo And if I happen to see you around town Watch out cuz I might push you to the ground Get down! We really don't care about your city Cuz you're just a hater and that's just a pity One thing that we will say to your face Get the hell out of Houston, stay out of this place You think you know, but everybody knows Your opinions of us really do blow We know you're mad, but that's too bad, 'cause we're havin' a ball hatin' Every little thing about you Everything about you, everything about We get sick when we're around We can't stand to be around We hate everything about you
IF A-Train wasnt already my newest hero for his defense of our much maligned guard in garm lately... he just made the top of the heap with that! Classic... Outstanding.. and if Chance doesnt make that song...one of you other musicians need to.. Call it...Houston Hates You Too
I'll do a scaled down version or the song and air it Monday. It'll be an acoustic version. I'll post it here, too. I'll take some liberties with the lyrics but its a great song A-Train.
