A-Train requested it, as we need to restore the manliness of the board, so I guess I'll deliver. Anyways, anyone have any good stories involving public restrooms? First off, this one happened to a friend of mine... So, I guess my friend went to drop some bombs (not sure of what other term to use here...other than "pop-a-squat", which is also a favorite of mine). When he got ready to do his duty, he saw some familiar shoes in the stall next to him. It was another friend of his. Rather than call out the kid's name and be embarassed if it wasn't him, he texted him, asking him where he was at. The kid told him that he was at school, and asked why. My friend responded by texting the kid something like, "Are you pooping?" The kid texts back a confirmation, and the next thing he hears is, "Hey man! How's it going?" I also have a word of advice to offer: Never eat Pancho's on a warm summer day immediately before going to Trader's Village.
I couple of years ago my wife and I were on a road trip. I had to take a dump. She said "what about McDonalds?" I said "No way, it's crowded, I want to go to Whataburger across the street, nobody goes there." as I could see it was empty and there were only a couple of cars in the lot. Well I go in (my wife stayed in the car) and the stall was clean enough so I sit down to begin the process. Well as soon I sat down a bus full of Boy Scouts pulled up and let around 50 of them out. Next thing I know the bathroom was full of them, all trying to open the stall door, knocking and banging on it etc. Well I finally finish, get out and get pack to the car where my wife is laughing because she new my poo sanctuary was bombarded by 50 hyper ten year old boy scouts. Not a great story, but there it is.
I was at Fudd Ruckers taking a piss at the urinals when I feel someone behind me. Then I feel that person getting closer and closer and the next thing I know he's looking over my shoulder at my wang! I turn around confused and ready for a fight. But it turned out it was some r****ded kid and his guardian walked in a little after that and led him away. Franks and beans!
It's good to know that I inspire such deep, thought provoking threads like this. Hey, that's another good thread idea, favorite euphamism for using the bathroom. I like "dropping the kids off at the pool"
I brought up the term "drop a deuce" and my wife laughed so hard, that she now uses it on occasion. In fact, I am trying to teach my son to say "daddy, I have a deuce in my caboose" instead of "im poopy".
I thought about just telling people to do that in this thread, too. I like "dropping the kids off..." also, as well as, "Pop a squat," "Pinch an inch."
When I was in college, I was in the bathroom taking a piss one day in the music building. From the back stall, I heard someone say "Oh Christ, here comes some noise" followed by a massive explosion that would rival the toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber. Whoever it was clearly thought he was alone in the bathroom. I tried not to laugh while shaking the dew off of my lilly, and went outside and sat on a bench with some friends. A few minutes later, the perpetrator comes out of the bathroom....and it's one of the most distinguished professors in the whole department! Not something I would have expected from him. From then on, every time I saw him, I thought of that magical phrase "here comes some noise"
We were at the mall in Corpus last month and my stomach started to churn so I new it was not going to be pretty in the mall bathroom, but I had to go. I new it was going to be loud, so after watching Shawshank a couple dozen times, ( the scene where he bangs on the pipe when it thundered). Every time someone would turn on the hand dryer, I would let it go, the hard part was stopping when the dryer turned off.
I like - building a log cabin - drop the kids off at the pool - if you're a Starcraft fan then, drop the zerglings off at the spawning pool - drown the brown turtle
i remember in high school i would ALWAYS have to let the poopoo exit my ass at the wrong time. i could wake up at 5 and go all morning without having to use it, then as soon as i get to school i have to go. Anyway, my school was ghetto as hell, the stalls had no doors and the toilets were usually filled to the limit with poop and piss. So one day i had to go realllly bad, it was so bad that i basically decided oh well ill just gently bend down and crap. And right when i was about to go into the students restroom, one of my teachers was gonna go into the teachers restroom, which is usually locked, so he unlocks it, and right before he opens the door another teacher calls him over for a quick chat. Honestly at that point i thought it was a gift from god, i quickly walked over and opened the door and spent about 35 minutes in the teacher's restroom just sittin there poopin. It was the most wonderful feeling.
That's weird, because, during my entire 13 years of public school, I honestly remember only taking one dump while at school. It's like my body subconsiously knew that the toilets at school were nasty and timed my bowel movements appropriately...
We live in a very quiet neighborhood. It was a nice, quiet sunshiny day with neighbors in their back yard and screened porches - at least 2 known sets of close neighbors outside relaxing. Even though we have rather large lots, you can easily hear normal conversations. My sons wanted to know if I'd play some ball with them and I told them I had to poop first. Well while I'm "dropping a deuce" (that one is funny), I can hear my loud kids outside, yelling at each other from a good distance as one is down on the swing set and the other playing on the deck - {I can hear this from inside with the doors and windows closed} Child 1 on the swingset: "Is dad done pooping yet?". Child 2: "What?". Child 1: "I said, is dad done pooping yet?" {louder of course}. Child 2: "I'll check" Child 2 comes inside to check. Child 2: "Are you almost done?" Me: "Almost, but don't go yelling outside about me going poop." Child 2: "OK" Child 2 runs back outside. Child 1: "Is he done yet?" Child 2: "No and he said don't talk so loud about him going poop." Child 1: "What?" Child 2: "No and he said don't talk so loud about him going poop." {louder of course} Child 1: "Oh" {Shaking my head in disgust and wondering if it's safe to go outside without some neighborly smirks.}
haha yea with me it was the total opposite. it was like i KNEW i would never use the restrooms at school so my body would say "oh yea?" and then make me wanna crap. That was the only time i ever used the restroom in school though. There were times i just went home with someone. i actually called a few friends to come pick me up and take me home. lol. sometimes i wished i wouldnt have to poop.
Can anyone admit to being so proud of their log, that they left it for display? I carefully unloaded 1 that completely circled the bowl. The perfect turd.
