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A gift for all Clutch Husbands, Fiance's, Boyfriends

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Shawndme7, Apr 20, 2007.

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  1. Shawndme7

    Shawndme7 Member

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    Got this from a friend,
    edit to your appropriateness.

    Hello beloved wife

    As may you know, the NBA season has officially come to an end as of last night, and the playoffs will officially begin for the Houston Rockets this Saturday evening. You are more than welcome , as well as encouraged, to join me in the enjoyment of the upcoming games, as your presence is ALWAYS welcome. The Rockets and myself need your support.

    Given that this particular broadcast is not on your preferred list (I'm aware of your deep affection for HGTV and TLC), I can respect that you may not be joining me during these broadcasts. Therefore, I am forwarding the below schedule to your attention in advance to advise that I will be unavailable for chores, running errands, grocery shopping, etc, during the below times:


    Game 1 - Sat April 21 Utah at Houston 8:30PM 9:30PM ESPN
    Game 2 - Mon April 23 Utah at Houston 8:30PM 9:30PM TNT
    Game 3 - Thu April 26 Houston at Utah 7:00PM 9:00PM NBATV
    Game 4 - Sat April 28 Houston at Utah 8:30PM 10:30PM ESPN
    Game 5 * Mon April 30 Utah at Houston TBD TBD TBD
    Game 6 * Thu May 3 Houston at Utah TBD TBD TBD
    Game 7 * Sat May 5 Utah at Houston TBD TBD TNT


    In the event that the Rockets advance to the 2nd round and beyond, this schedule will be amended, and you will be promptly notified.

    Mind you there are other teams that I am interested in that will be playing as well, however there will be a considerable amount of leniency in my schedule during these games. However, during any Rockets playoff games, be aware that I will not be moving from in front of the television, sans restroom breaks and refreshments. Before and after the games, I will be available for the following activities: household chores, quality time with yourself and our son, running a variety of errands, etc.....

    Thank you for taking the time to read this, and have a spectacular day.

    Love always,
    Your Husband
     
    #1 Shawndme7, Apr 20, 2007
  2. texanskan

    texanskan Member

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    classic!!!!
     
    #2 texanskan, Apr 20, 2007
  3. IROC it

    IROC it Member

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    Awesome for the old email to the wife...


    But she loves to watch it with me... :D
     
    #3 IROC it, Apr 20, 2007
  4. finalsbound

    finalsbound Member

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    its the drive to a CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!

    all wives/girlfriends should be watching this...don't let them miss out!!
     
    #4 finalsbound, Apr 20, 2007
  5. Hayesfan

    Hayesfan Member

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    You said it FB! :) Make them watch, get them excited so that next year they will watch ALL the games with ya.

    Maybe I should send this to all my family members who could care less about basketball though... I could change it up a bit to make it fit.
     
    #5 Hayesfan, Apr 20, 2007
  6. MR. MEOWGI

    MR. MEOWGI Contributing Member

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    Hell my wife and I spent last night getting the backyard ready for patio playoff partying.


    (how's that for some mutha-f***in alliteration? :cool: )
     
    #6 MR. MEOWGI, Apr 20, 2007
  7. forchette49

    forchette49 Member

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    Wow, I can't believe you guys actually have to explain yourselves like this. I understand this isn't EXACTLY literal, but there is some truth behind this right? Ouch!

    Remind me to stay "single" lol!
     
    #7 forchette49, Apr 20, 2007
  8. finalsbound

    finalsbound Member

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    No, just meet all potential girlfriends at Rockets games!
     
    #8 finalsbound, Apr 20, 2007
  9. Shawndme7

    Shawndme7 Member

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    HAHHA most of you guys are from houston though.

    This was written by and for guys who may not necessarily be in Htown...so our SOs dont have the same feelings towards the rockets
     
    #9 Shawndme7, Apr 20, 2007
  10. VooDooPope

    VooDooPope Love > Hate

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    I sent this to my wife and here was her response...


     
    #10 VooDooPope, Apr 20, 2007
  11. IROC it

    IROC it Member

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    There's ice in them there veins. :eek:
     
    #11 IROC it, Apr 20, 2007
  12. Hayesfan

    Hayesfan Member

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    rofl! Your wife is a witty chick! Nice response.
     
    #12 Hayesfan, Apr 20, 2007
  13. Vengeance

    Vengeance Member

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    Instant classic! I love your wife's reply, VoodooPope
     
    #13 Vengeance, Apr 20, 2007
  14. Jeff

    Jeff Clutch Crew

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    My gf loves the Rockets. She'll likely be glued to the sofa with me.
     
    #14 Jeff, Apr 20, 2007
  15. IROC it

    IROC it Member

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    My wife responded thusly...

     
    #15 IROC it, Apr 20, 2007
  16. smoothie

    smoothie Jabari Jungle

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    i sent it to my GF :)

    i think she's watching saturday with me anyway, but i thought it would definitely get a laugh.
     
    #16 smoothie, Apr 20, 2007
  17. VooDooPope

    VooDooPope Love > Hate

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    And there better be fresh ice in my Captain and Coke if she knows whats good for her. :D
     
    #17 VooDooPope, Apr 20, 2007
  18. lunaticrocket

    lunaticrocket Rookie

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    Already printed a copy!

    Man, I envy those of you who have a wife that enjoys basketball!
     
    #18 lunaticrocket, Apr 20, 2007
  19. lunaticrocket

    lunaticrocket Rookie

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    OK, decided to email to her instead. Needless to say, she did not find it as funny...
     
    #19 lunaticrocket, Apr 20, 2007
  20. thatmank

    thatmank New Member

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    i achanged it just a tad.


    Hey woman,

    >
    > By earning a paycheck, having a penis, and being ordained by God himself as the dominant sex and most powerful creature on his great, green earth, I have (in an act of great kindness) decided to inform you of a few future commitments that I have made in the weeks to come. As you are probably aware of, the Rockets are in the playoffs. I WILL be watching these games as well as any other playoff game, sporting event, or whatever I damn please. Do not expect to have say so in any of this. Do not plan on having access to the TV during this time period. Furthermore, I will be watching the replays and highlights of the games on Sports Center (even if I watched the game itself). Do not think that this in any way releaves you of your womanly duties, such as but not limited to, cooking me dinner, cleaning, remaining quiet in my presence, etc... I intend to be fully emmerced in these games, and for all intents and purposes I will most likely not even acknowledge your presence. If you find that you need to be acknowledged you may bring me a snack or a beer, at which time I will grunt some sort of thanks, and our interaction will come to a close.
    >
    > If this does not sit well with you, try to remember that God put you here to serve me. If you have a problem with that, you will need to take it up with the good Lord himself. Personally, I choose not to challenge his will, but it is your soul, so that's entirely up to you if you choose to do so. The Rockets first round schedule is as follows:


    > Game 1 - Sat April 21 Utah at Houston 8:30PM 9:30PM ESPN
    > Game 2 - Mon April 23 Utah at Houston 8:30PM 9:30PM TNT
    > Game 3 - Thu April 26 Houston at Utah 7:00PM 9:00PM NBATV
    > Game 4 - Sat April 28 Houston at Utah 8:30PM 10:30PM ESPN
    >
    >
    >
    > When the Rockets sweep the Jazz they will most likely be facing Dallas in the second round. I will let you know of that schedule when it becomes available. That series too, will be 4 games, so plan accordingly.
    >
    > Don't you even think of challenging me woman,

    >
    > Love always,
    > Planter of the seed, and The Heavenly Father's most gracious gift to you,
     
    #20 thatmank, Apr 20, 2007
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