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A eulogy for "the true center" (long)

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by A-Train, Feb 13, 2002.

  1. A-Train

    A-Train Member

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    My friends,

    We have gathered in this most holy of areas to remember one of our most beloved individuals, the "true center".

    The true center led a long and glorious life in the NBA. He started out in a young and fledgling league going by the name of George Mikan. He was a truely powerful man, so dominant in his effortless low post play, that the lane had to be widened to prevent him from taking command of the entire league.

    He then continued through life as Wilt Chamberlain. His dizzying array of moves over the shorter, pastier players of his time was legendary. Although he rarely ventured more than 12 feet from the basket, there was no need to, as he was unstoppable, going so far as to score 100 points in a game, as if to say "The center shall live forever!". He occassionally made appearances as mild mannered Bill Russell, proving that a true center is not measured by offense alone. Soft spoken on the court, he fiercely swatted away shots and furiously grabbed rebounds with a vengance, collecting championship rings as if he picked them up off the ground. He proved just how versatile the "true center" can be.

    As the 70's approached, the true center would not weaken, but grow stronger as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He would rewrite the record books and patent the most unstoppable move, the "sky hook" a move that only a few men could defense.

    In the 80's and 90's, as the league would become dominated by guards and forwards, the man known as "true center" would reach his peak. Taking many forms such as Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson, and Patrick Ewing, he would confuse his opponents with his quickness and versatility on the low block. He combined a unique mix of offense and defense, seen only rarely in the other great "true centers" of the previous generations...

    But, alas, all things must come to an end. The "true center" is weakening in his old age. In his final days, he goes by the simple name of "Shaq", a throwback to the big, tough center. He cannot continue forever, though, and it's safe to say his death is imminent.

    The "true center" has finally given way to a multitude of big men that can face the basket, take men off the dribble like a guard, shoot from 18 feet, and even bring the ball up the court and run fast breaks, things unheard of in the time of "true center's" dominance. Let us remember the life and legacy of "true center", and his numerous contributions to this great game of basketball. He will forever be remembered in our minds and our hearts...

    Now, let us pray...
     
  2. Joe Joe

    Joe Joe Go Stros!
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    Alas he's been replaced by the sticks, the stumps, and the freaks.

    There have been prophecies of him returning in Chicago and a small cult following has sighted glymses of one in Cleveland.
     
  3. red

    red Member

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    but let us also speak of the prophacies...a dark one will lay dormant in a city in the south...he will be flowered with riches as he moves through the night disguised in purple...then when the moons align...red will kick cato square in the nuts and awaken the lazy beast so that he can carry on the legacy of the dominant "true center"
     

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