I finally did it!!! I never thought I would see the day but, after years of hard work and making post after post of meaningless content and bad jokes, I have dragged my post count, kicking and screaming, up to 4034. It seemed like it would never come, as I languished for days around 4013 or so, just waiting for a birthday thread, or perhaps a misplaced thread where I could chime in with the "Wrong forum!" It took so long, but I can honestly say it was worth it. Why, when I woke up this morning, I said to my dog, "Nac, I'm a changed man. As you can probably tell, I have over 4033 posts on the BBS at clutchcity.net." Well, he made no outward show of emotion, but I am quite confident that he was celebrating the occasion with wild abandon within the tiny confines of his K-9 mind while he urinated on my carpet. When my postwoman showed up later today with my mail, likely filled with thousands of letters of congradulation from the beautiful woman that are always emailing me with lewd comments and recommendations of websites, I screamed "I finally have 4034!" and gave her a big hug as she handed me my mail. Well, the pain and suffering from the pepper spray she administered was NOTHING compared to purgatory I endured around post 4007 trying to think of a hilarious caption I could post on a caption game. Imagine my delight when I came up with the snappy line, "I've fallen and I can't get up." Sure, you all told me that my post was plagiarism, as well as inconsistent with what the picture was (I can't remember, I was too blinded by my comedic genius), but you can't let things like that bother you when you are on a quest to make all those sub-4034 post count chumps worship the ground you walk on. My only concern is how I shall deal with the thousands of screaming fans that are surely waiting just on the other side of my door. I already took my best dungeons and dragons shirt and wrote '4034' in big, sharpie letters, just in case they can't identify me by my 4034th post afterglow. Sure, the phone operator who I called to tell about the occasion laughed at me when I informed her of the magnficent feat, but little did she know that I called her all sorts of bad names after I hung up and waited about 5 minutes just to make sure she might not somehow here me through the dead connection. Sure, she was laughing, but so was I, all the way to the post count bank. She probably doesn't even have 100 posts. You may be saying to youself, "Wow. That is so amazing. I wish I could be that cool." Well, my inferior message board friend, you can't. If you think I am going to reveal the secrets that make me so cool, you are out of luck. I don't even tell my mom what makes me so cool every time she remarks, "Don't worry, I still think you are cool." I bet she would love to get her hands on that little nugget of information. So, in conclusion, I just wanted to reiterate to everyone that I am better than you, in case the message didn't register because you were so baffled by the glory that is my 4034 posts. I will end this post with the little bit of wisdom that has made me great: Free post. Disclaimer: This thread is meant as a joke and is not aimed at anyone in particular, or meant to piss anyone off. If this thread does piss you off, then I recommend that you dress like a schoolgirl, paint your face like a clown, tape a turkey baster to your head and stand in front a mirror while laughing, because you need to lighten up. Here's the obligatory smiley.
How'd you guess? Actually, I hadn't planned on posting anything on 4000 or any other post number, but I was bored...oh well, back to work I guess.
I guess that means that Jeff and HeyP are pulling an Ewing/Hakeem and not retiring after they have nothing left.
I wish I could go back to 69 posts, then I'd never post again. Attn Admins reading this: I'm just kidding.
I hope I don't get banned for this. Seems like their have been some post number subtractions, or these people can't add. Sorry, if it is. Hmm...I don't even know how many posts I got. I pretty much stopped counting at 1000. I'll check it out after I post. As for 4034 posts, that is a pretty hard thing to do. Especially if you are banned, get posts deducted, ect. But I'll be there soon....or not. Too bad you'll be another 1000 or more bigger than me, despite my high ppd. Maybe Ref and I should start another WWE thread and get another 100 posts each. (j/k.) edit:1260. I guess that's ok.
You are not funny. You go over the line with your insults. I would never type "congradulation" you know. I am far too intelligent and cool for such silly mistakes. I also don't celebrate lame posting. I hate you...you racist.
That's what I though as well. That's why I was kind of reluctant to post. But he posted it at 1 and its about 4:30 now. I would have thought it would have been locked immediatley, but maybe not.
