2nd time trying stand-up

i liked the bird and the mushroom bit. thought the mushroom story dragged a little though. it takes balls of steel to do stand up so props to you. however, your delivery seems rushed. slow it down.

 

Think of some kind of safety joke or catchphrase to avoid that "transitions" issue. A couple of years ago I was at the Funny Bone in Omaha watching the Thursday show, and the featured comedienne (one below the headliner) was bombing, then on one joke she asked "that's not funny," and we said "no." I don't know if she was giving up on the set, but it just made her look like a deer in headlights.

The Apple joke should have been fleshed out, maybe even have a fake commercial where SIRI is giving numbers to more examples of shady or weird services for different types of people. The mushroom joke was too long for the payoff, stuff doesn't have to be comprehensive and accurate to be funny. You should have taken the part with no shoes and talked about how different types of people, no matter the situation or personality would still keep their shoes on.

 

I think that one thing that you need to improve is being more specific and I am just guessing here, but having a sense of keeping your voice even throughout the joke is something that would help you as well.

When you hear Billy Washington tell a joke, he rarely inflects his voice to generate a laugh and relies on his timing and his material.

As an exercise to improve your standup, I might try doing your next set without any curse words. The reason is that you are leaning on cursing when you get nervous.

I would also investigate look at how you move on stage. Your body language is apart of selling a joke.

Beyond that, I actually think that the fat girl not knowing she is pregnant is a good beginning to a bit if you fleshed it out. But you need to make it more specific. Like, beginning the bit by observing Jerry Springer topics. By applause, are you a fan of day time talk shows? I am. I eat that **** up. And you know the best part, it's when they solicit you to be on the show. If you are a ... blah blah blah. Or if you had a blah blah blah. Then you deliver the fat girl joke. If you are a fat girl who doesn't know she is pregnant. You could even look down at your own gut and feel it. There is a lot you could do with it.

 

No constructive advice here, but just wanna congratulate you on having the cojones to do stand up.

...and to let yourself be seen by strangers on the internets.

 

Yeah, but that's his style -- he's very dry/ subtle.

 

I liked the first half of your set quite a bit. The mushroom story dragged a little. Maybe inject some ethnic humour in regards to Asians on shrooms? That would be a different angle to a story on getting high. But on the whole a great effort. Good job.

 

Agree with the slow it down and reduce the swearing comments. Profanity should be the spice to add impact where necessary, not a crutch to rely on.

Personally, I thought the shroom story was the funniest, but the setup could be tightened up. The initial punchline of "the apartment told me to leave" was pretty funny - but it seemed to get weaker after that - where your classic stoner joke gets stronger and finishes with a bang.

Some of our criticism could be related to audio issues on the recording as well.

Good luck.