Most Likely to Finish Near the Basket Cuttino Mobley Yes, Mobley would shoot threes without another teammate anywhere near the basket. Yes, he had a morbid addiction to splitting double-teams off the dribble. And yes, he probably could have done a better job distributing the ball to the 4 & 5 spots. But, when surrounded by the inept hands of B-teamers Moochie Norris, Kelvin Cato, et. al., Mobley's value was most apparent attacking the basket. One-on-one, one-on-two, one-on-three -- it didn't matter. He got a bucket or a foul or both on virtually every break he finished, making him the definition of "clutch." Mobley might be on a different team next season, but who wants to be the future Rockets 2-guard that has to run with him, much less try to score on him? Least Congenial Yao Ming Although Eddie Griffin gets a nod for his implacable game face, Yao Ming runs away with this year's award for the inhospitable treatment he gave Shaq at the start of the 2nd game against the Lakers. On national TV, in the first five possessions of the game, Yao blocked Shaq three CONSECUTIVE times, and scored the Rockets first four points. Never mind that Shaq destroyed Yao in the fourth period. If that opening sequence didn't make you spit beer all over your friends, you should switch to a more exciting sport, like the WNBA. If you missed it altogether, you missed a piece of Rockets lore. Most Comfortable Comparing Himself to Legends Steve Francis Last year, he began referring to himself in the third person, which was scary. Then, prior to the draft, he made it clear to CD and Alexander that he couldn't carry the team by himself, never mind that Mobley had a higher points-per-game average in '01-02. This year, the ego got even bigger with another All-Star appearance and a pow-wow with Oscar Robertson. Most recently, Franchise threatened that he "wouldn't play for another coach" other than Rudy T, just like Michael Jordan and Shaquille O'Neal have said in the past about Phil Jackson. That's a nice vote of confidence for Rudy, but MJ has 6 rings, Shaq has 3 rings, and Franchise has 0 rings. And 0 playoff games. Francis is in no position to be comparing himself to them, or dictating anything to Rockets management. To his credit, he blames the players for missing the playoffs, and he is the only person besides McGrady averaging 20/6/6. Maybe if his teammates were better at running the break, he might get the additional assists and rebounds to be a consistent triple-double threat. That WOULD make him a legend. But until then, he needs to stop tossing alley-oops with only a two point lead, or even worse, when down by seven. Best Actor in a Supporting Role Moochie Norris When Moochie stepped on the court this year, he certainly LOOKED the part of a basketball player. Two arm bands, knee socks, perfect cornrows, a variety of headbands, and a hitch in his step. Too bad there wasn't any drama in his game. Some say the zone defenses took away his ability to penetrate and create for others. That might be because he can't see over opposing guards, can't run around opposing guards, and can't shoot over opposing guards. Except for some game-winning heaves early in the season, Moochie was a left-handed understudy who couldn't memorize even the simplest of lines: "shot clock," "baseline," and "run." Worst Script Yao high-fives a little girl The roving-camera TV spots that followed players onto a Metro bus, around Space Center Houston, and dropping in at Wilson Elementary were low budget, but at least they were amusing and could be suffered over the course of a season. But whoever penned the magnum crappus TV ad wherein a five year-old girl and some Power Dancers spend half a day setting up a ladder as though it were a complex naval maneuver, then have the five year-old climb the ladder, then have Yao walk a precise 'L' onto the court for no good reason (surprise! it's Yao!), so he can then touch hands with said five year-old girl who is teeteringly precariously atop the seven foot ladder - well, that person should be canned. And, whoever chose the demented, Ringling Bros, background music should be canned. And, whoever operated the camera and captured it on film should be canned. And, then the negative should be burned. Most Likely to Succeed on Another Team Juaquin Hawkins Hawk didn't get much playing time this year for a number of reasons. Nine million of them, in fact. With Glen Rice needing to prove his worth to the brass, and with Moochie clogging the available guard minutes (for the same reason), Juaquin saw mostly garbage time. It was a shame too, because he was a beast on defense, drawing charges on everyone he faced (including Jordan), pressuring the ball, and disrupting the opponent's rhythm. He seemed to be adept on the break (47 assists vs. 29 turnovers) and shot 42% behind the arc when left alone. That was three percentage points better than "Matador" Rice. Most Valuable Player Yao Ming Hands down. Mere mortals (Greg Ostertag, Big Country Reeves, et al) would have curled up in a fetal position after the third week if subjected to the same physical and mental strain that Yao endured. And, when Rockets fans say a prayer before bedtime, they don't need to thank God that the Rockets won the first pick in the 2002 draft, or that CD and Rudy had the savvy to pick Yao, or that Yao is 7'5" and a fast learner. We should thank God that he is 7'5" and HITS HIS FREE THROWS. Without that ability, Yao would just be a patsy at the end of big games, like Shaq was in his first eight seasons. Better still, Yao has said that being at the free throw line with the game in his hands is his favorite moment. Now THAT is clutch.
