WMD - funny

SmeggySmeg · Jul 14, 2003

Type "weapons of mass destruction" into the Google search engine and click on "Im feeling Lucky"

Great stuff

bamaslammer · Jul 14, 2003

Originally posted by SmeggySmeg
Type "weapons of mass destruction" into the Google search engine and click on "Im feeling Lucky"

Great stuff
Click to expand...

That is hilarious Good one!

EddieGriffin · Jul 14, 2003

try "french military victories"

SmeggySmeg · Jul 14, 2003

Originally posted by EddieGriffin
try "french military victories"
Click to expand...

very nice

AstroRocket · Jul 14, 2003

Originally posted by EddieGriffin
try "french military victories"
Click to expand...

The page the link takes you to is hilarious:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

The Complete Military History of France

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
Click to expand...

Princess · Jul 14, 2003

This is hilarious! My friend emailed it to me yesterday, but still funny as ****.

AstroRocket · Jul 15, 2003

I found an article on the WMD Google joke

Inside Story of a Funny Google Result
Compuserve News (What's new)
It started as a joke. A kind of private joke among friends. Now it's one of the hottest keywords on Google and not everyone thinks it's so funny. Here's the deal: Go to http://www.google.com/ and type in the search term "weapons of mass destruction." Then click on the "I'm feeling lucky" button. What happens next either makes you laugh or makes you mad--depending on your political persuasion. It reads: "These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors' mandate." It goes on from there with funny suggestions for fixing the error.

The site, which looks like a legitimate Google error page, was actually created as a lark in February by a British pharmacist named Anthony Cox, who says he did it as a private joke among friends, reports The Associated Press. He must have a lot of friends. They linked to it on their Web pages and one thing led to another and soon the links to the page zoomed up so much it became the top-ranked page for this search term. And THAT is why the "lucky" button now works and pops this page first. It just keeps getting bigger. The ploy was featured in TIME magazine last week. And now AP has picked up on the story.

No one is more astounded by all this than Cox. "It was really just a private joke among a few individuals and then I sent it off to a newsgroup," he said. "It just spread like wildfire throughout February." Then it died down. But other Web sites kept linking to it, and as Cox says, "It just went through the stratosphere in terms of hits. It became even more funny that Google couldn't find any WMD." He said actually weapons inspectors have e-mailed him telling him they find it humorous. Here's another fun one: Go to http://www.google.com/ and type in "French military victories." Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button and the result is: "Did you mean: French military defeats." Yuck, yuck.
Click to expand...

Forums

WMD - funny

SmeggySmeg Member

bamaslammer Member

EddieGriffin Member

SmeggySmeg Member

AstroRocket Member

Princess Member

AstroRocket Member

Share This Page

About ClutchFans

Rockets Content

Support ClutchFans!