Rudy T will be our savior!

I am so glad we just hired Rudy T. as our new head coach over Paul Silas, Larry Brown and Mike Dunleavy. He is the perfect fit for the team and will bring the old glorious days back to the Houston Rockets. Here is why Rudy T will be our savoir.

1. He is an over-achiever. Back in 1994, the Knicks had only one superstar --- Hakeem Olajuwon. Other than Hakeem, the team was composed of bunch of stiffs. Guess what, they won it all that year. The 1994 Knicks is considered by many the worst NBA champions ever. This shows much an over-achiever Rudy T. is.

2. He knows how to coach big men. Under him, Hakeem Olajuwon became one of the best centers in the history of NBA. He is the perfect coach for Yao Ming and Eddie Griffin, both like Olajuwon, are finess players. He will teach them the agresiveness, toughness and intimidation that Olajuwon once possessed.

3. We will finally see a team who can play smart basketball. Who can doubt that under him, SF and Mobley will finally start playing smart and under control, that they will eventually accept the Rockets as a team oriented around the big man --- Yao Ming. 1995, Drexler came on board and the Knicks repeated the championship. This shows Rudy T. knows how to mesh superstars into the same system. If he knows how to use Olajuwon and Drexler together, we can be sure that he will mold Yao and Francis into one of the best duos in the history of the game as well.

5. He is a specialist in defensive schemes. Under him, the New York Knicks had one of the best defense in the league.

4. He has the loyalty of his players. Rudy T. is very emotionally attached to his men. Every body who played for him absolutely loved this guy. A coach who has his players' heart will definitely demand authority and respect from them. No longer will SF and Mobley do their own things and just ignore their coach. Discipline will be installed.

I am just soooooo happy that we beat Washington Wizards in getting Rudy T. I think he is the combination of John Wooden, Phil Jackson, Abraham Lincoln and... Jesus Christ maybe. This is the new beginning. Our franchise is saved!

 

If it was supposed to be satire, it didn't work.