<br> The kids don't need to know how to do anything. It is up to the OP, as the children's father to look out for their best interest. Regardless of how the kids act towards the dog, if it bites them the dog is at fault. That's one of the main things that's missing her. The OP's young children shouldn't have to change things to accommodate the OP's fiancee's dog. What type of line of thinking is that? I agree. Not being an animal person and getting involved with an animal lover is a huge issue and a completely valid point. OP should have considered this scenario and discussed it with his fiancee before moving in together. All of this could have likely been avoided if they had discussed it better. I disagree though that expecting a woman to give up a dog for him and his kids is a bigger mistake. Whenever you date someone with children you should expect that they are going to come first. And if you happen to want to marry someone with children you should probably care about those kids enough that they come first not only for the person you're marrying, but you as well. But clearly, the kids aren't first in her mind. The dog is. Now if you want to say expecting this woman to give up her dog for him and his kids after she's shown more allegiance to the dog than her soon to be children, then yes I would agree that is a big mistake. The part I put in bold in your post is exactly what I'm thinking. Both parties, the OP and the fiancee should be on the kids side over the dog's side. But clearly their soon to be step-mom is not even on their side. Once again, that's scary. This is an excellent post.
My dog has been bitten in the face by a dog, and my dog has bitten other dogs in the face (although she usually targets the throat).
She suggested putting the kids in a shelter (a "no kill" shelter if possible). "Humans will come to understand, sooner or later," she said, as she watched her pirated version of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes yet again.
Yes , it does bother me that , in her eyes, her dog is her child and she has told me as much. the dog is completely spoiled. We have put the dog in training once a week but all I am seeing is it can sit, lay down... that type of stuff. This dog is extremely annoying. Barking constantly at everything. It is starting to lay off the humping of all kids. Constantly wanting to sleep in our bed.... which I am not cool with because it moves every 10 mins and I think there is something weird about animals sleeping in a bed. My fiance lost a kid a while back and then adopted this dog and at that time in her life is what makes this dog so special to her. I am really trying to be understanding even though these things bother me. She has told me she will not give the dog up at any circumstances, unless it was just biting people for no reason. I truly love her but I am just afraid this dog will do something else (bite or mess up our relationship). Is she just selfish about it? . She has moved into my house and my kids are bonding with her and the dog. So that adds another angle. I knew the dog was a handful (not the biting tho) and I was willing to accept that but I can't have the dog biting people.
I also feel my kids and I should not have to change our lives due to a dog. My kids are young and hyper. I can't say for sure they will never touch the dog again when he has something in his mouth and they just don't notice it.
If the kids are bonding it sounds like the dog is OK. Just watch the Dog Whisperer and use his techniques. You need to be the pack leader. Say "psst" when the dog tries to walk in front of you.
Cesar Milan fan's perspective: the situation is really simple, the solution will take a lot of time. The dog does not have enough rules, boundaries and limitations and is thus assuming pack leader status and doing whatever it wants. Your fiance is clearly emotionally attached to this dog (due to her lost child) and is unlikely to provide these boundaries in the future unless she is made to understand that it will provide the best situation for her, the dog, you and your kids. The DIY solution: take time to watch and learn applicable techniques from the Dog Whisperer tv show. The solution that will most likely need to happen: Hire a trainer to come home and take pack leader status from the dog and then teach all of you at home how to maintain control over the dog. All this requires a lot of understanding, a lot of time dedicated to re-training yourselves and the dog - I'm talking daily practice for a few months in a row. I hate to say it but frankly speaking I think both adults in the relationship are not aware enough of how to deal with dogs, I'm not sure you both can pick up the required practices without going through a lot of stress and frustration with each other. Instead of ending the post on a negative note, here are some simple practices that might help you be more in control of the dog: Spoiler 1) Dogs don't understand language, words, what humans mean when they use finger pointing, gestures or volume of the voice. Dogs only look at body language as a whole. In order to become an effective leader for a dog, you have to really work on your own body language first. This requires staying calm all the time. Take deep breaths and calm yourself and center yourself and stay relaxed whenever you have to deal with the dog. Your chest should be out, try not to keep muscles tensed up, keeping yourself as relaxed as possible. 2) Whenever you're around the dog and you need to pick up a magazine or take a toy away from the dog there are 2 things that you might try to follow: a) move in a definitive manner, don't be tentative about barks or bites (know you're in control of the situation) and b) don't be confrontational in your actions - approaching the dog head on and face first is confrontational from its point of view; definitive movements and approaching from the side of a dog, while slightly turned to your own side is a much more affable and open, comfortable approach from the dog's perspective, less of a threat as such. 3) Petting the dog: this is positive reinforcement. Only pet the dog when he does something good. Generally, dogs can't be pacified down from an aggressive state by petting. If he has just finished barking or behaving aggressively, do not pet or feed or acknowledge him. Don't try and punish the dog either, they don't understand that either. The best is to ignore him and go about your own work. If the dog is scared, don't pet him and don't let your fiance pet him. If the dog is angry, don't let your fiance pet him. 4) Dogs are meant to be in a calm state for as long as possible. The dog's body language to look for are relaxed ears, slow and deep breathing. Sighing is a great sign of a relaxed dog and a great time to pet him and reinforce the relaxed state of mind. Try and start looking for tense muscles on the dog as an indicator of his state of mind. A relaxed dog is the goal. Don't initiate any activity with the dog until they are totally calm. 5) Walks: make the dog walk beside you, not in front or behind, but only beside. Walk fast enough and long enough to get him tired. If the dog starts pulling on the leash, stop walking and stand as calmly as possible in in your spot and wait for him to calm down to the relaxed state. During walks, there should never be any tension on the dog's leash. If he walks in front of you, and is pulling, that is a clear sign that he doesn't respect you as a leader and he is trying to control the situation. That is the best time to stop and breathe deep and relax... you relaxing right then and there and staying calm will transfer to the dog becoming calmer - it'll take time but it will happen. A simple exercise to practice even before heading out on a walk: Inside the house, don't put a leash on him until he is totally relaxed and sitting beside you at the front door. When the leash is on, if he is excited again, don't take him out the door in an excited state: wait for him to sit calmly at the door again before making a move. Takes time but is a great exercise to start establishing some rules and boundaries for the dog. Please bear in mind these are really general summaries of Cesar Milan's techniques - every situation with a dog is slightly different and requires different behavior from us. I don't need to say it, but don't practice these ideas unless you feel perfectly safe. Get a professional trainer Funnily enough, a version of these are effective techniques of dealing with people too, or being a good leader.
What do you mean, when you say the dog bit these kids? As in, a literal bite? Or the dog just nipped at them? Did it leave a mark at all? Did the dog go out of his way to bite their face or was that the closest part to the dog?
I'm a dog lover and you're not going to want to hear this, but the only way you're going to keep your fiance & still do right by your kids is to keep the dog, just tie him up & make him watch your kids bite her in the face, while the neighbor bites her butt.
when kids bite other people no one suggests parents get rid of them (i'm sure only because it's illegal). when dogs do it, send them to the kill shelter. both dog and kids need proper training.
There is nothing more annoying than someone posting "Found this on Redditt, but it needs to go here" followed by no take from poster. As Howard Stern says, have a take, or you suck. bucking stupid ass little b****es on cfnet...with no take. **** pisses me off that I clicked this ancient thread to think there was a new take. little cfnet b****es piss me off.
This is a thread about a dude that needs help understanding a dog. The image gives a good summary of dog body language. What take do you want me to give? Im the same dude who was the first to tell you not to post your niece's picture here. It's time to go to sleep for tonight heyp.
Fair enough. But you still haven't made a take on what you posted. btw I have about 4 more weekly episodes to catch up with tonight, as usual, so won't be going to bed soon. 60 hour weeks at work watching nothing nor posting much, until the weekend, ya know how that is?
gotta agree with heyp in this thread (except for what the hell just happened there^) but it's probably too late, the dog is most likely filled with lead and in a landfill with bugs crawling in and out of it. The dog is treated like "a baby" but it acts like a dog and suddenly it needs to be gotten rid of...
