So something got me thinking about when I was a kid (high school and younger) and all of the dumb things I did. Sometimes I'm suprised that I've made it this far and didn't end my life at some point. I grew up in Huntsville, which is not the most progressive of communities, but we still had normal neighborhood upbringings. My neighborhood was surrounded by forest, which is where we would spend a good portion of our free time, usually creating bike trails or looking for the 'older' kids' stash of Playboys. There was one particular time when someone built a ramp, probably about ten feet long and rose about three feet off of the gound. We never hit the ramp when riding our bikes because we knew the consequences might be severe, so we usually would just pedal on around and keep going down the trail. One day I decided to try the ramp and got my courage up and hit it going full speed. I know now that I truly never got more than three feet off of the ground, but going full speed it felt like I lunged into the air about five or six feet. Not to mention the back wheel landing that finished the jump. Man, was I pumped after doing that....all along never realising that I could have killed myself if the jump had gone awry. I never did try the jump again, and to this day I still can't believe I didn't crash. Another (stupid) thing we did was play with fireworks occasionally. One time, the fireworks disappeared so someone found an old Coke bottle (the glass ones you could buy at the store that were about one liter in size) and poured gas in it. They then stuck a rag in the bottle and we all sat around trying to light the rag on fire. For some reason (thank goodness) we couldn't get the rag to light. We were all just wanting the bottle to explode and never realized how much danger we were in. Thank goodness our stupidity wasn't proven. It still amazes me that we never realized how much danger we were putting ourselves in.
Dumbest thing I ever did was say the following to my old man after he gave me extra chores as a punishment: "You can't tell ME what do do!!!" Well, a 15 minute merry go round whipping later (the type where the parent holds you by one arm and whips you with a belt with the other, while you try to outpace the strap, which causes you eventually to start running around in circles with your parent acting as the spindle), not only did my old man tell me what to do, he made me to it, sore butt in all. I never made that mistake ever again.
Swam with alligators in Homestead Florida. Yeah. I was a dumb ass. Not as dumb as most think. The water appeared empty. Next day. 7 gators were lounging. Huge mistake on my part. Got lucky. Stole carrots from a farm and got chased by farmer. woo hoo! Claimed there was a bottomless pitt of water on that same farm. Was quickly debunked by two kids with a long stick. My first lesson in science.
I was probably about 9 or 10, living in Alief. Our backyard was right behind Bellaire near the interesection with Synott.. Anyway, I decided that it would be fun to throw rocks really high in the air over the busy street behind our backyard fence until some dude jumped the fence to tell me I had broken his windshield.. I acted really suprised (What did I think would happen?) and had to go inside and tell my Dad this guy wanted to talk to him. It was bad.. Not only did I get the shiz kicked out of me, but I had to go over to the guys house with my Mom later to formally apologize and explain how my next year of allowance would be spent paying back my parents for replacing his windshield..
snorted the sugar from pixie sticks in the 4th grade. burns much worse than other things. i didnt know then that snorting pixie sticks aided terrorists...
I was a f-ing punk kid at times. One time...I was having a conversation with this older friend(couple years older...I was like 11) I used to hang around with. We were talking about doing something but he said something along the lines that his Mom wouldn't let him do this and that. Then, I probably said the stupidest thing that I've always regretted ever since which was basically, "I can't help it if your a Son of a B*tch!". Of course, I got slugged. Then, I proceeded to go home and when I was near my door, I let the profanities fly at him and said all this dumb stuff. I was a real idiot that day or, as I said, just being a stupid punk kid. He forgave me but it has never left my conscience. Most people say SOB at one time or another but they never use it in the right context like I did. Doh! Another one of the stupidest things I ever did was pretty much rob my local 7-Eleven blind of candy. I was turned on to how to steal candy without getting caught so I proceeded to steal 2 paper bags worth of candy. I used to stuff my pockets and the holes in my jeans at the knee. I would be walking out of 7-Eleven with candy piled up to my knee holes dribbling candy on my way out the store. I never got caught until, one day, my parents found all that candy and I was forced to return it all and apologize to the foreign person that was working there. I did many other stupid things because I was a punk my early teen years mixing with the wrong crowds. My role models and friends were a bunch of losers who did nothing but introduce me to ways to get in trouble. I had a lot of peer pressure growing up due to hanging out with older neighborhood kids and people up to no good.
I was about 8 and my dad asked me to grab his cigarettes which were under the couch, I went to find them and the lighter was on top of them so I played with the lighter {under the couch} and caught the darn thing on fire....................I then tried to explain to my parents that I did not do it. After the couch was extinguished, I got a beating I will never forget..............It`s true, cigarettes are dangerous to your health
I've got another one that has scarred me. When I was really young...like in kindergarten, we used to have this bell choir. Well, we were giving this performance at some formal event where all the parents showed up. We never actually went over setting it all up. So, we line up in the stands and the lady starts handing out the bells. Someone passed me a bell and I didn't pass it to the next kid down at the end but, instead, held on to it. I was supposed to hand it down I guess. So, this guy on the end didn't have a bell the whole performance. So, I pretended to share my bell with him but I don't think it went over very well. I always felt bad about that and it has scarred me since kindergarten. On the other hand, if the Mom passing out the bells would have done a better job and actually realized she was stuck with an extra bell then I wouldn't have been in that situation. I have so many scars. I'm hideous....look away(Kramer). Edit: One more...in my kindergarten class, I had a written spelling test. I misspelled some word...can't remember what it was...but the rest of the class got it right. So, we are going over the answers out loud and we get to this one. The teacher proceeds to ridicule me in front of the class about missing this word and the rest of the class and her are laughing at me. It was so humiliating that I have never forgotten it to this day. I still don't understand why that happened. It was a freaking spelling test and, occassionally, you misspell a f-ing word. I'm mental now.
Many things although these are the ones that I feel stand out: 1) After losing a tough Little League game one night, 1-0, my father asked me a million questions despite me not being in the mood to answer them. Finally, he asked who pitched for my team and I looked at him with this devilish grin and said, "Your momma!!" He then beat the living daylights out of me for that. 2) When I was 9 or 10, I went down the slide at the city park backwards and gashed my head open. 3) In the 7th grade, I was bored in this science class as we were playing bingo (it was like the last day of school). We were using lima beans as the chips (or whatever they are) and I picked one up and sniffed it. The next thing I know is that it flies up my nose. I panicked and embarrassingly told the teacher about it. She said, "Well, blow it out!" I blew and the thing went flying with snot covered all on it onto this guy's desk. He was not happy. From then on until I graduated from high school, I was known as the kid with the bean up his nose. 4) When I was four, I did something that .....no, there is no way that I reveal THAT even on a message board!!
Stole a stop sign from an intersection in front of an Elementary school when I was 15 because I thought it would look cool to have a stop sign hanging on the wall in my bedroom. My Dad made me put it back after he reminded me that schoolchildren could get run over in front of the school because of me.
Whoa...someone could have died in a serious car accident like has happened. I remember this courtTV case where these kids did that and several people ended up dying in a major car accident. You lucked out I guess. Another stupid thing I did....playing soccer as a kid at the halfback position. The ball was kicked my way and I was the only one in the vicinity of the ball. I was running up to the ball to give it a hard kick. Just about there and I **** my leg back to kick and I....................umm...............I MISS AND FALL ON MY ASS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!! OH GOD THE HUMILIATION!!!!
I used a wrong a insulting stereotype against members of religions... I still regret it. I also got Clutch mad at me... that was pretty dumb too.
Prior to my first Little League game the coach taught us about ground rule doubles. He mentioned offhand that if the ball was by the fence and the other team was running around the bases, just raise your hands to indicate a double and pretend like it's stuck in the fence. I'm playing right field, I was playing shallow right and it went over my head. The ball was still a good 10 or 15 ft from the fence, but I raise my hands and start kicking it towards the fence. I got it all the way to the fence before the center fielder got there. Embarrassing, but funny when I think about a pudgy little kid kicking a baseball with his arms in the air and everyone yelling at him.
...Saying, "I don't get it....it was our 2nd time ever playing at Yankee Stadium. Is it a new ballpark or what? Please explain." Other than that, nothing too dumb.
I have great parents. They have saved my ass from the depths of stupidity many many times, including the stop sign incident.
1.) Trying to steal a pack of cheap ass football cards from a Mall when I was 12. Both of the store owners were sitting there watching me. Still haunts me to this day when I think about it. 2.) 13 - Making fun of my mom after a little girl got hurt while she was watching her. my mom got really upset, I felt like pure **** after that one. 3.) 15 - Insulting a group of black kids after the called me a b****. I turned around and yelled "What did you say bout ya momma?" turn out they were all related, so I unsulted their whole ****in family. They socked me a few times in the face. then they held me down were jumping on me (which really didn't hurt). Some lady told them to get off me. Boy did I go home embarrased.
Well, this happened quite recently, and it's the only thing I can actually remember. So my brother and I are at Office Depot about 6 months ago and we go in for network cable. We get it, stand in line, and wait, and wait, and wait (about 30 minutes because the idiot in front of us was using a check and the idiot cashier didn't know what to do with it). So I sense my brother getting REALLY REALLY frustrated (like a 'I'm going to kill you' look), so finally, after we check out, I'm usin my mom's credit card and I thought it would be funny (which I guess it's probably stupid to do) and I signed the name as (*expletive*) You. It looked great, a nice cursive actually. I don't think the cashier saw it, but my brother did. He didn't like that much, so he decides to start fighting me in the Office Depot parking lot. Loooong story short, I'm the guilty one and I'm told that credit cards can be revoked because of that. Now that I think of it, it's kinda funny.
