I F'ed up probably the best thing that has ever happened to me

Now the gloves are off I would give her all the space she needed, and let her make the next move. That is easier said then done, but if you give her some room she may come to her sences. When you guys fight is this the norm or is this out of character? If it`s out o character maybe theres an underlying problem

 

I take it, you're not married

 

Are you sure that marriage is a good idea at this point in your relationship? I would be worried that she'd walk out a couple years into the relationship because the toast got burnt. And I would also worry you might throw her out or cross some other sort of line in a fit of rage.

 

Get ready for a lifetime licking her boots clean. Too bad she keeps stepping in dog$h**. That's your fault, of course. And you shouldn't be bringing up the mess and smell...shame on you.

Maybe she just likes the way you look when you crawl.

pokepokepokepokepokepokepoke VOLCANO boohoo!pleasebabybabypleasebabybabyplease!

Seriously, problem scenario here. Sounds unhealthy. DOn't know if she wants to hear that, or "work it out." Guess you know what you're getting into! Best wishes working it out.

 

No, I'm not married.

Hallelujah.

 

Wow, such a stupid thing to break up over. I don't get it. How can she just call it quits over something so stupid? Was she looking for an out?

Really, you should not give a crap if it is the wood floor or not...it was an accident and the damage was done. How bad could it be for crying out loud?

On her side, I do not understand how she can just break it off like she was flushing the toilet or something.

Maybe you should buy that ring and get over there and propose ASAP? Or, risk losing her forever.

I'm almost afraid to see how the spats in the marriage turn out, though.

Good luck, man. Surf

 

This is a good point, but the way I read Hoop-T's description, it sounded like she was the one who brought it up in front of the friends. He mentioned she "patronized" him, which I will guess means that she made fun of him for asking the question. Thus, it sounds more like a situation where the boss brings in a new client and and employee spends most of the time telling the client about how the boss reprimanded him/her for a mistake. If the boss had treated the employee fairly and not made a big deal about the mistake, then the boss would have definite justification for being annoyed.

Besides this, Hoop-T mentions that the girlfriend brought up the issue again after the cookout. To me, this sounds like the girlfriend was looking for a fight. There are alot of reasons why this could be, but the bottom line is that she started the argument. While telling her to "never come back" was cruel, so was her attempt to anger you.

Respect is a two-way street and IMHO, it sounds like neither of you really respect the other (especially when things go wrong). I would definitely try to salvage the relationship, but demeaning yourself ("It was all my fault") will simply put a band-aid on a much bigger wound. You both need to admit your mistakes and then try to find the deeper issues that lead to these kinds of situations. I agree with Mrs. Valdez that neither of you are ready for marriage until these deeper issues have been at least addressed.

 

This sucks. I agree with the others that feel that you two arent ready to get married. Let everyone calm down and see what happens. If she continues and wants to stay away from you after you tried to make up with her, then leave her alone. You probably dont want to get into a serious relationship with this type of person anyways. Question: Was there alcohol or anything else involved? Good Luck!

 

No offense but both of you sound kind of childish fighting about broken glass. I mean if you think that argument was bad, think of all of the arguments you will have once you are married and have kids.

Relationships shouldnt have to feel like work in my opinion. Sure there are things you have to work on/out, but it shouldnt be terribly difficult. It amazes me how much **** we put up with in relationships just because we think that this person is the ONLY person we will ever be with.

Im DEFINITELY no expert on dating/love/relationships, but its something to think about.

Good Luck man.

 

If I recall, I think he said that the glass ws not the issue. It was her pushing his buttons about it. I can relate because I was married to someone who would start things over nothing. It got to the point that I would laugh about it and ignore her, but that too was to push her buttons as she had done to me.

Pretty childish...I know.

 

Oops my bad. Think I overlooked that one.

I did the same thing with my ex. I would block it all out and then go hoop with the boys. My life was terrible.

 

Wait...maybe she felt he was pushing her buttons first. He didn't ask about it once and let it go. He asked about it twice. If she screwed up his wood floor, then she should have the integrity to tell him about it without being asked. She shouldn't even have to be asked about how bad an accident it was. Or else would she just let him find out later that his wood floor is all scratched up now?

She felt her buttons pushed. She pushed his buttons. Then, he calls the whole thing off, she walks, and says it is over.

It's like a Seinfeld episode or something. What would Jerry do? He would probably push her buttons some more and walk away. Hellllllllllllllloooooooooooooooo...................

 

There's a joke there somewhere...

Seriously, like A Train says. If she doesn't respect your stuff, she doesn't respect you. If you guys have been fighting over stupid stuff lately, maybe she's looking for an out. It doesn't sound like the fight was really about the glass. If you put the ball in her court and she's really gone, do yourself a favor and let her go.

 

Sounds like it is best for both of you.

If you consider this type of arguement even remotely important in the grand scheme of a relationship neither one of you are close to ready for marriage.

 

I will be honest, I became too impatient to read thru all of the subsequent posts, but has the $1,000,000 question been asked:

How much drinking was going on?

 

Uh, bad idea. You need a VERY stable relationship before you get married. Marriage will not fix this situation just like kids won't hold a bad marriage together. If you wanna see the absolute darkest side of your chosen mate, plan a wedding.

 

HOOP -- As you and some of the other posters have already alluded to, this is clearly about more than dropping a glass on a wood floor. I think it's important for the two of you to figure out what this incident really means: Did she get angry because she feels that your posessions (glasses and floor) mean more to you than she does? Did you get upset because she wasn't honest with you and, therefore, you feel she's untrustworthy? Or do you feel she doesn't respect your things and, by extension, she doesn't respect you?

No one breaks up because someone dropped a glass on the floor. But many couples break up because of lack of respect and mutual trust. The two of you might want to examine what this little incident really symbolizes in your relationship. Once you are able to get at the heart of the matter, you can start making a real difference in the areas that really count. Good luck to you both.

 

Well, he said he thought they were stable and they were out shopping around for rings so it's not like marriage wasn't on their minds. Your right, though, their relationship has some kind of problem.

It may be a case of just getting on each other's nerves too easily. Or, it could be more deep-rooted as Mrs. JB eludes to.

One thing for sure...the glass symbolizes how fragile their relationship can be. Just think everything would have been fine had it not been for that stupid glass. Maybe he should invest in plastic?

 

SYMBOLISM???


I have one more day with the kiddos and a classroom clean out day then I'm off for summer vacation...

Fair warning...There shall be NO MORE TALK OF SYMBOLISM ALL THROUGH OUT SUMMER VACATION!!!