a month ago, my "ex" called me up and said she needed to borrow $150. i asked her why, and to make a long story short, she needed to borrow the money to avoid going to jail. well, thinking that she was good for the money (she's an exotic dancer), i lent it to her. we had an understanding that in 2 weeks i would need to money back. two weeks later, i talked to her. she tells me that she has the money, but that it is a check, not cash. i told her that was fine, that i would just deposit it into my bank account. so, i go over to her place and get the check, and noticed that it was not from her, it was from some guy that i did not know. the amount was filled in and the check was signed (not in her handwriting). the "payable" section was blank. i asked her who it was from and she said that she didn't have any money, so she had to borrow it from her niece's friend. i said ok. well, i deposited the check on wednesday, 4/30/2003. two days later, i call the bank, and it showed that the check cleared. so, i go and write checks to pay my bills, etc. yesterday (5/7/2003), i call the bank to check on my account, and find out that the check did NOT clear, and the $150 had been debited from my account on 5/5/2003. oh, and every check/debit from my account since 4/30 had bounced because of it - each with a $32.00 NSF fee. in the end, it cost me about $400. obviously, i'm pretty pissed off about it - still - so i called my ex up and asked her WTF? she told me she didn't know, but that she had been paying the guy back over the past few weeks. my question is: do i have any recourse? aside from pressuring her to pay me back, is there anything else i can do? i know that writing a hot check is against the law, but since i don't know the guy and he doesn't know me, does it still apply? is there anything else i can do? and i don't really want to get her in trouble, as she is not a us citizen, has no green card, etc... help!!
Technically, you have recourse for your total loss. In reality, you are hosed for your total loss. I realize that sounds cynical and simplistic, but I'm afraid that's the truth.
My bank screwed me over with 252.00 dollars in overdraft fees because they had some stupid low account protection set up that would deposit 800 dollars in my savings account whenever my checking account got below 50 dollars. Then 24 hours later they would withdraw 800 dollars from my checking account, making the effective balance negative, and charge me overdraft fees for each transaction I made, despite never going negative in real money. Banks are creative with their methods of screwing you over. Easy to put money in, but hard as hell to get it back.
Hmmm, tell her that she has to pay you back with $400 worth of "services" from her or her dancer friends... Sorry to make light of this F'ed situation. You are hosed.
floored me too, at the time. here's the situation: her daughter missed too many days of school, so the school sent her mother a letter saying she had to go to court. well, at the time the school sent the letter, she was moving and never got the letter. because she never got the letter, she never made it to court and a warrant was issued. the $150 was to cover the bond. was really floored me was that she never bothered asking how many days her daughter missed or how many days she could miss. the irresponsibility of it! of course, hindsight is 20/20, and i guess that should have tipped me off to her irresponsible nature. Pole: what do you mean "technically i have recourse of my total loss"?
Mistake Number 1: Picking up the phone. Mistake Number 2: Friends in Low Places... Use this as a weapon:
Well, if the bank communicated to you that you had certain funds available to you, and then removed them without prior notification, then you "technically" have recourse against the bank. However, it's more likely that their policy states that funds from checks are conditionally available to you until the check officially clears. Furthermore, you have probably signed off on your "awareness" of this when you opened your account....even though it was probably buried in a mound of fine print. Of course, if the check was conveyed to you by her, then you also have recouse against her for the amount of the check. Furthermore, a good attorney could argue that you accepted the check in good faith and then wrote other checks against it. These checks subsequently bounced due to the fact that you were under the impression that these funds were "good." So, your recourse against her could extend to your total loss. The point is though--unless the bank specifically conveyed certain information to you that caused you to have this loss, you're not going to win against them. I'm certain they have themselves protected with their policy that you should "technically" be aware of. As to your "ex"--do you really think it's worth going after her? She won't even bother to show up at court--not to mention all of the other little things you have against you (the check being written from someone you don't know is the biggest red flag) You might get a judgement in your favor if you had an attorney who might actually take this case, but you'd never be able to collect. And the legal fees would cost more than your loss. Chalk this one up to a relatively cheap life lesson. Four hundred clams might seem like a lot of money to you right now, but the lesson learned is certainly worth quite a bit more.
RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG. Why couldn't her "neice's friend" write the check to her and have her cash it, then give the cash to you? Somethin' don't smell too good. You sure she didn't "find" that check?
lesson of the day: no good deed goes unpunished! thanks, Pole. and you're right. it's not worth it. my attorney would only charge me about $150 to pursue it (friendly rate), but you're right insofar as the time i would spend on collecting it being worth well more than $400. Swoly-D: "Mistake Number 2: Friends in Low Places... " thus the reason for being the "ex". as for using her legal status against, her, i'm just not like that. chances are i won't get the $$ back from her, and it's not in me to turn her in for it. she has a kid. why punish the kid for mother's irresponsibility?
Walk away, verse, just walk away. From all of it. Make a fuss at the bank and if they won't adjust anything then change banks. It'll make you feel a little better. Not much, but a little.
i've thought of that, as well. i know she doesn't have a bank account, but she could have gone to his bank and cashed it. or for that matter, i SHOULD have gone to his bank and cashed it. - lesson learned - as for "finding" that check, that's one of the main reasons i'm hesitant to have him prosecuted for writing a hot check. couldn't he say that he lost the check or, even worse, that i must have stolen it? the check was signed, but if that signature does not match his normal signature, i'd be royally f*cked. i think Pole's right on this one. just chalk it up to lessons in life.
So, how does this play into the "strippers are/are not" inherently good people thread. Damn near EVERY stripper story here involves: single moms, hard drugs, financial shenanigans, sexual shenanigans. I'm still waiting for the story about the stripper w/ the heart of gold, dancing for the homeless, working on her PhD by day...
well, i did have a friend that put her way through college by dancing and quit the day she graduated. no kids, no financial shenanigans, nothing. just couldn't afford the tuition from a private university. and for the record, she graduated with a degree in CS (computer science), c*m laude.
What's her phone number? I don't even mess with checks, too much trouble. I buy everything with my check or credit card and pay all my bills online. I can't remember the last check I wrote.
oh, i usually don't bother with checks either. here's another thing that pissed me off: i had 4 or 5 transactions from my check card for like, 1.50, 2.25, 4.26, etc. when those bounced, i still had to pay $32.00 NSF for each one of them! wtf is that?!! oh, and as for my college grad friend's phone number, believe me you don't want it. she's a sweet girl and all, but she's hell to deal with. she never wants her man to work, just to be at home all time. that way she has someone to come home to. sounds cool, but it really isn't. i've seen too many guys be miserable in that situation...
BTW...I left for lunch, and I thought to myself.....I sure sounded condescending with my comments. I was trying to jot down some decent advice in a hurry, and it kind of came out sounding crappy. Thanks for taking it well. When I was younger, I dated a few dancers myself, so my comments might have come from someone who still remembers his own lessons.
oh, nah, don't worry about it, Pole. hell, i'm kind of embarassed and upset with myself for even being in this situation in the first place. that's the beauty of cc.net...anonymity. damn... as i type this, she just called me. she said she's going to give me the $400 tomorrow. she has a friend whose "customer" is coming in town tonight. her friend is going to lend her the cash to give to me. cash, i say, cash! we'll see. as i said before: "no good deed goes unpunished." thanks for the advice, though. it really is appreciated...
