Well if he loves playing in the bath than that's why you never felt uneasy, try bathing a baby kick and screaming at the top her lungs, squirming all over the place. I don't think anyone enjoys the interrupted sleep, regardless of you being a man or a woman. I'm doing my part, splitting the night time routine and when I can I tell my wife to just completely take off and let me take care of the baby. I'm not saying you aren't but there are other things to factor in than "But your a man "
I've had two kids and the experience was of course totally different each time. Unfortunately it seems like your experience is like my first experience. Perhaps by hearing mine, you will feel somewhat better, as my 6 months as a Dad was a freaking mess and we made it through. My daughter Eva was colicky. I did not think that existed. I was wrong. She cried for more or less six months, and the only times she didn't cry was when her mom was holding her or when she was in a rapidly moving stroller. Still, I tried. Baths were difficult, feeding was difficult, sleeping was a mess. We lived in a one bedroom on the UWS and there was no escaping the crying. I had just gotten my own book at a major IB on Wall Street and sleep deprivation was messing me up. I slept on the subways home, always taking the local to get that extra 20 minutes. I would go to my buddy's apartment and sleep for an hour on his couch while he was still working at office. Then when I got home I would take Eva in the stroller and walk all around the city late at night...sometimes this knocked her out. Her mom would sleep for 2 hours and I would be walking up and down Columbus Ave making sure the stroller went over the metal grates, they seemed to keep her asleep. Here's what I learned: 1) The kid can feel your anxiety. If you are freaking out, the kid might as well. If you are about to spend some time with the kid and you are all amped up, do something that relives stress. I'm not judging you. Have a beer. 2) Quickies. As soon as you and your wife can start screwing again, do it. Do it a lot. There will be no foreplay. Just get at it. It will bring you closer. It will make her feel better about herself. And you both will relax a little more. 3) Long walks with the stroller are good exercise, which lowers stress, and if you get a kid that konks out to stroller time, you win here. Drive time works as well, but please dont drive if you are sleep deprived. 4) Baby Einstein, soothing CDs, etc. all bs. 5) Happiest Baby in the room didnt work for us, except the part where you swaddle your kid like a taco before sleep. She dug that. My second kid was an angel, but not such an angel that I tricked myself into having a third. SNIP.
Dude, you think it's bad now? Give it about 13 years, when guys are trying to screw her and she hates your guts. I hope we'll get a follow-up post.
Great/interesting thread. Been great reading the experiences of y'all on here and I hope those that haven't had kids bookmark this thread for the future. I'm sure all of y'all that commented on this thread are good fathers, you too OP, and you all just keep doing what you do and being good husbands/Significant Others and Fathers.
Well, guess I may have had it easier than most. But I guess I couldn't comprehend the depression a man feels after the birth of a child since I've never encountered it my self. Good luck with everything and congrats on being a new father. Hopefully after the first 3 months your daughter should be less fussy and both you and your wife will be more relieved from the stress.
Wait three more weeks. New thread title will be new father blue balls. It is worth it but those first couple months can be pretty dark
We've been really lucky with our little one, as she really only cries when she is hungry or needs a nap. I'm an early riser anyways, so the system we have worked out is my wife gets up in the middle of the night with her, and I am on duty after 5 AM. If you try setting up a schedule like that it may make things easier. Good luck and hang in there.
Yes, this is a great book and I recommend it. I have a 5 month old who didn't have colic or any other issues but normal gassiness. I still tried a lot of this books methods, swaddle, side/stomach, swing, shhhhh, suck. Put all 5 methods together and you have a happy baby. Swaddling and a noise machine (rain or static or white noise) seem to help but maybe not for every baby. You could also use a noise machine in your bedroom. using the football hold helps as well usually. Using a pacifier now probably won't affect the baby. We used it at 1-2 weeks and it was a godsend. My son is 5 months old and loves baths and sleeps well enough. You get used to it and every day gets better.
Welcome to my world, not matter what I do she cannot stand me right now. Crushing isn't a strong enough word.
Hang in there. My son ijust turned 2 months old and I totally sympathize and feel your pain. But, everytime I look at him I feel like it is worth it. I'm about to take 2 weeks off to be alone with him while my wife goes back to work so he hits three months before going into day care. I'm terrified, but I'm excited too. The nights are tough...so are the days, but I keep telling myself it will get better. As annoying, scary, irritating and exhausting it is, the moments when he smiles at me with pure joy just make it worth it. There are times when he is crying for food at 1 am, I wake up stumbling and exhausted to get to him and when I do he just looks up at me and smiles real big. No matter how tired I am, it gets me and I know I'll do anything for him. I hope and I know it will get better. Good luck.
Id say soak it in man you will not get this time back, i missed most of my two year olds early times it was until he was about to be two i came home permanently and found a job in Houston. My point is i really wish i was there for those times because i came home from work travels and poof he was already walking and almost talking. I was extremely excited about our newest baby i wanted to be there for every step, unfortunately my wife had a miscarriage. Soak it in man.
For taking naps, this thing has been an absolute life saver for us: http://www.toysrus.com/buy/baby-bou...snugabunny-rock-n-play-sleeper-w9443-12655801 . It cradles the baby so it seems to really help them stay asleep. Some friends recommended it to us, and I can't imagine how we would have gotten by without it. Early on we let our little one sleep in it right next to our bed. Now she just uses it for naps during the day, and sleeps in her crib at night. She is 8 months old and still uses it daily. I can't recommend it enough!
do you know how to properly swaddle the baby when you put them down to sleep? this is the most comfortable thing for your baby to help them sleep,
Ha, hang in there. My daughter just turned 9 months on the 16th. It get's better, and you'll be a pro before you know it. The best part of my day is getting home from work, walking through the door and seeing that beautiful smile on her face. Yeah, it get's MUCH better and is 10,000% worth it!
Lots of good advice in here. I have 2-year old twins so there was no taking turns getting up to do night feedings back when they were infants. We both got up every time.... THAT was tough. I remember everyone telling me "don't worry, it gets easier after the 1st 6 months" and I never believed them. I should've listened because it's all true. Your kid will eventually start sleeping through the night and you're state of mind will improve GREATLY. When she turns 6 months old, that's when you need to start letting her "cry it out" at night. The first few nights will be really hard but eventually she will get it and you will wake up the next morning saying to your wife "did you hear anything last night?? Neither did I!" That's when it all changes. Until then, hang in there. Try to keep a sense of humor about it all. Easier said than done, but it does make a difference.
read a book called Happiest Baby on the Block.... it basically talks about swaddling and mimicking what the baby was use to inside the mothers womb.... make a 'shhhhhhhhhhh"ing sound loudly int he baby's ear when they are crying, almost as loud as a vacuum because that's the sound level it was inside the mother. Place the baby in a carrier and put it on top fo a dryer... get a hair dryer to cut on, a vacuum cleaner, go for car rides ect ect... The swaddling brings back the way it FELT inside the womb.... all balled up with arms to its side.... as a baby they don't have total control of their muscles so their arms just fling everywhere and it can startle them. Be patient my friend, be patient. No need to be depressed. In a few weeks it'll ease up a bit but you'll find other areas more challenging as well.
You will learn a lot about life through the experience which seems endless, but it isn't. Might look into the healing oils for some natural help. Parenting is the agony and ecstasy. Get ready for some magical moments that transcend time and space.
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2nd. A proper swaddled is HUGE. You gotta be firm. Any wiggle room and an arm gets free and the crying commences. Also, an infant swing! ...and if you swaddled in the swing!!!! Omg. My older (8) had colic and cried constantly. She was VERY challenging. She's still challenging. I have twin boys (3) and the two of them have been easier than my one daughter. Welcome to your New Normal. It's your job to realize that and adapt. Once they start sleeping better, a new behavior will replace that and it will be equally challenging (albeit different type of challenge). I think the lack of sleep thing is life's way of telling you that a new Sheriff has arrived. Get ready cause this shiznit ain't gonna be the same. All that said, it's not the same for the good too! My kids keep me in a constant state of laughter and amazement (just before I go kung FU on them for filling the toilet with paper and overflowing it.).
