I know I know, this is another "heartbreak" thread. And this is probably the alcohol getting the better of me, but my fellow clutchfan members are sometimes the only ones to whom I can get through. I'm blasting some blues through my speakers and drinking some fine whiskey as we speak. (epic thread?) Basically, got dumped 3 years ago from the "love of my life". Only woman I was in love with. Thought I would get over it. Had two relationships since her. Had sexual relationships with several (around 10) women. However, I just can't get completely over her. And I feel that until I fall in love completely again, I won't. However I'm afraid that that will never happen. Is it possible for me to have loved/love only one woman my entire life?
Nope it's over for you, you missed your window. Keep drinking heavily to suppress all feelings. It's the only way to get by from now on.
you have at least six more heartbreaks in you. statistically speaking. it may not seem like it now but heartbreaks 2,3,4 and 5 will come.
Normally, I would chime in and say go and **** ten b****es to get over your heartache. But it looks like you've already done that. I would suggest a psychiatrist at this point. Or hallucinogens.
Love only once in general...? Of course not... Have a standout in your life that you'll likely never forget...? Where you will likely never love another the same...? It's very possible... but, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll never love again... There are varying degrees of love... and though, people don't wish to admit it... especially when they do genuinely and greatly care about the current person in their life... You don't love every person in your life the same, certainly not with equal intensity of quality... There are some people you'd climb the highest mountain, risk limb and life for in earnest.... and some you'd take on a reasonably sized hill for... Some people are just more important to you than others... nothing wrong with it... Not everyone you meet will touch the special areas of your heart that are most dear to you... or fulfill the needs that you value the most... These things are not things you've listed as comprising your ideal perfect women... I'm speaking of more deeply intimate emotional things, which are unique to each individual... Some will hit the mark on 2 out of 3 of one of the other... but it's extremely rare to find someone that will hit the mark on all of them... If you found such a person... You'll likely never forget them, and likely always keep that significantly special part of yourt heart reserved for them... consciously or subconsciously.... However, unfair it may be for future lovers... But, you'll still be able to love again... and survive...
When that fails you have to go back and gig the girl you aren't over, that usually does it. But I don't think that's an option for this dude.
Lost the love of my life 20yrs ago. Had the same thoughts as you, and didn't think I'd experience love ever again. Well I did find it again. Have been married 14 yrs now, and have two beautiful kids. Can it happen to you? Most definitely!!! Just keep the faith my friend. The first step to moving forward is accepting in your heart that your relationship with your ex is truly over. It's one thing for you to accept it in your mind, but a totally different thing for your heart to accept it. Learn from it and move on to the next chapter of your life. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and be willing to roll the dice again.
If you would have said 3 weeks or even 3 months, I would be right there with you. But 3 years? That's about 2 years and 6 months too long to still be depressed about getting dumped.
There is nothing wrong with what you're feeling, BR. It's not like you've lived like a hermit for the past three years. My advice? Keep on keepin' on and eventually, you'll find the woman that will make you forget the other (you'll still remember the good stuff, but not in the way you are now). He's been out living his life. Nothing wrong with playing the field and not finding that right one just yet. It's natural to start to wonder about things like this when you were with someone you really cared about.
Little hungover this morning haha. Just to clarify, it's not 3 years of depression, thank god. I was probably "depressed" for about a solid 3 months. Now its just like.. I don't think about her or anything for about 7 months, then I see her somewhere or something will remind me of her, and I'll think about it for a day or so. And then another 6 months without giving it a thought, and then once again I bump into her... etc. But the fact is, I haven't felt anything for any other woman I've been with. Not even an ounce of sympathy or any feelings, and that just "scares" me. That idea of not feeling like you don't want to lose her or that you think today is the best day ever and you can't wait to be tomorrow because you know it will be even better. I know most people do fall in love several times, I have friends who've been fortunate to. However I also do know people who have only fell in love once in there life, and I don't want to be that kind of person. And it kind of scares me because even though I'm an outgoing person, I have high standards and a part from her haven't found a woman that I could see myself with for a lifetime. And that kind of freaks me out basically. And to the "you need to lower your standards", well yeah I've tried that but it resulted in getting into a relationship I didn't want to be in. Yeah this basically describes it. Thanks for the advice.
You gotta cut her out and move on if you ever want to truly heal. I'm trying to make that move on my 2 month relationship that ended 3 weeks ago.
Got it. Man, I was starting to worry about you. Now that you've clarified, what you're feeling is pretty normal. And it sounds like you're actually being patient while looking for "the one." This is actually a good thing. Not sure how old you are, but I didn't find "the one" until my late 30's. A happy marriage and 2 awesome kids later, I'm better off for it. Don't over-think things too much and just keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like an overused cliche, but........it will happen when you least expect it.
