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In homage to johnheath, here's an article about Syria from a highly credible source.

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by Heretic, Apr 29, 2003.

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  1. Heretic

    Heretic Member

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    http://www.theonion.com/onion3916/syria_harboring.html




    LANGLEY, VA—In an alarming report released Monday by the Central Intelligence Agency, Syria may be harboring upwards of 15 million known Arabs within its borders.


    Above: Suspected Arabs move freely through a Damascus marketplace.
    "Reliable intelligence collected by our agency indicates that Syria has conspired to lend physical and economic support to a massive number of people belonging to this group," CIA director George J. Tenet said. "The shocking truth is, there are nearly as many Arabs in Syria as there are people in New York and Los Angeles combined. In fact, Syrians openly refer to their nation as the Syrian Arab Republic, despite knowing full well America's opinion on these matters."

    Explaining the CIA's methods of gathering data on the rogue ethnicity's presence in Syria, Tenet said it relied on a combination of satellite imagery, computer-system infiltration, reports from Syrian covert operatives, intercepted radio and television transmissions, and The World Almanac And Book Of Facts 2003.

    "It's practically an open secret these days," Tenet said. "Syrian television brazenly shows Arabs in military uniforms carrying guns, or delivering political speeches to other members of the group. Walk into any house of worship in the country, and you'll see people reading the Koran and bowing their heads in prayer toward Mecca. It's almost like they're daring the United States to get involved."

    "Disturbingly, more than 90 percent of these Arabs have been linked to the practice of 'Islam'—a defiantly non-Western system of faith whose core principles are embraced by none other than Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein," Tenet added. "If this is true, and we do consider this information to be correct in all particulars, then this is troubling at best."

    President Bush, Tenet said, has been aware of Syria's ties to known Arab political and religious figures since the earliest planning stages of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Tenet assured reporters that all possible diplomatic avenues of resolving the situation were being aggressively pursued.


    Above: In a chilling scene, thousands of Arabs bow toward Mecca in praise of Allah.
    "We have informed [Syrian President] Bashar al-Assad of the presence of Arabs in his country and have offered any aid necessary to bring this situation under control," Tenet said. "I am confident that a resolution to this crisis can be achieved without resorting to military action."

    This is not the first time Syria has been linked to Arabs. Israel found the Golan Heights heavily populated by Arabs when it annexed the region from Syria during 1967's Arab-Israeli War. Arabs have historically held many influential posts in the Syrian government, and the CIA claims to have data indicating that wealthy Arab businessmen control the greater part of Syria's economy.

    The CIA report prompted concern from many Americans.

    "I'm not surprised," said Wayne Early, an Atlanta-area mortgage broker. "I suspect they're all over that part of the world. First, the government linked them to Sept. 11, then Afghanistan, and then Iraq. It makes you wonder who's next."

    "The more I learn about Arabs, the less I like them," said Carol Schecter of Norfolk, VA. "Beirut, Teheran, Baghdad... everyplace there's trouble, they're there, and now we've found them in Syria. I just hope they don't hurt the regular Syrians."

    Tenet assured citizens that he is committed to resolving the crisis.

    "We don't want to cause any undue panic, but now that the Arabs are there, we're going to have to deal with them," Tenet said. "Unfortunately, they're not just going to go away by themselves.
     
    #1 Heretic, Apr 29, 2003
  2. BobFinn*

    BobFinn* Member

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    :D
     
    #2 BobFinn*, Apr 29, 2003
  3. Oski2005

    Oski2005 Member

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    :D
     
    #3 Oski2005, Apr 29, 2003
  4. underoverup

    underoverup Member

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    :D to the thread


    & :D to:

    "Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'" -Peter

    "Peter, those are Cheerios." -Brian
     
    #4 underoverup, Apr 29, 2003
  5. cson

    cson Member

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    For those that do not wish to criticize johnheath, please first admit that you are stupid.












    ;)
     
    #5 cson, Apr 30, 2003
  6. MacBeth

    MacBeth Member

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    This was hillarious....but..

    I think we need to give johnheath his due..It may be for all the wrong reasons, but in a relatively short time, he has become a sort of icon in here. He's narrow-minded, hypocritical, rude, insulting, knee-jerk, factually challenged, and at times seems to miss the obvious points in his own posts, but the man has the endurance and persistence that the Terminator would hold in awe, and has already had more threads started about him, or in his name than anyone else I can think of sabing staff, OP, Manny and maybe DC. Certainly more in a week (2) than I have had in all my time here (0)...Gotta give him his props.

    Also...he has surprised me at times, 3 in particular; In the Worst Moments in American History, he amazed me with some fairly critical points about the US governmental history, he actually apologized to me for undue criticism in a recent thread, (although he quickly followed that up by pointing out how the latest WMD find 'facts' he had posted totally negated my stance against US foreign policy, in true jh style--:D ), and he was pretty decent and didn't take the cheap shots I expected in the Pornstar thread. He's not what I'd call in any way open minded, but he's also not as completely predictable as I once thought.

    But, again, heretic...that was seriously hilarious, and jh would do himself a great service if he saw the humour and the what for him will be uncomfortable truth in it...LOL
     
    #6 MacBeth, Apr 30, 2003
  7. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    :D:D:D

    hehehe...the "regular" Syrians...LOL

    underover/Oski....Family Guy quotes..Yeaahh...

    Adult Swim...10:30CST...Thank you Cartoon Network:)
     
    #7 Rockets2K, Apr 30, 2003
  8. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    ooops
     
    #8 Rockets2K, Apr 30, 2003
  9. pippendagimp

    pippendagimp Member

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    nice :D
     
    #9 pippendagimp, Apr 30, 2003
  10. Supermac34

    Supermac34 President, Von Wafer Fan Club

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    On a serious note that this article kind of makes fun of.

    In my last class on Sociology from college, the prof made an interesting point.

    92% of all conflicts in the world today are based around Muslims Vs. somebody.

    I admit that I do not have the thesis in front of me and I don't even remember the prof's name, but a ton of class time was granted to look into whether the muslim Vs. somebody tended to be caused by the aggression of muslim or somebody. In almost 70% of the cases it was that a group of radical Muslims took control of a country/state/province/tribal aread and instituted radical Muslim policies on an unwilling populace (especially in Africa).

    Having studied parts of the Muslim religion, I find it sad that so many "muslims" claim they are doing Allah's work, yet in fact are doing to opposite of what Allah has commanded in many cases.

    This is probably the wrong thread for this, sorry, and if I offended Muslims by saying these things, i hold no blame to you, just the people that have taken a peaceful, progressive religion and turned much of it backwards for political and power gains.
     
    #10 Supermac34, Apr 30, 2003
  11. johnheath

    johnheath Member

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    I agree. The Onion is definitely worth a spot in my favorites folder.

    I would have never replied in this thread, except once again, you misinform. Your thread was about how the United States was misusing its power by invading Iraq, and you compared our current foreign policy to other failed imperial powers.

    I can't fathom how anybody could find that argument valid now that we know for a FACT that Iraq and Al Queda had a relationship. If you maintain your stances from the post in question, even after the Iraq/Al Queda "smoking gun" was discovered, then you are basically arguing that the United States does not have the right of self defense.

    On this same BBS, you supported the Afghanistan operation because the Afghani government was aiding Al Queda. It seems to me that your political stances have become one huge hypocritical mess.

    Perhaps this pornstar relationship has made you amorous, and your tremendously large penis (that you told us about) is commandeering the majority of the blood oxygen needed for critical thought?

    DAMN IT! I shouldn't have written that, because now you only have two nice things to say about me.;)
    The only "uncomfortable truth" I see is that a significant number of Americans don't see a real enemy in the fanatical Islamists, but, since I have already declared victory on this subject, I am not going to say another word. :cool:
     
    #11 johnheath, Apr 30, 2003
  12. Htownhero

    Htownhero Member

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    It would be like Christmas, my birthday and Cinco de Mayo all rolled up into one if this were only true.
     
    #12 Htownhero, Apr 30, 2003
  13. zzhiggins

    zzhiggins Member

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    Know what you mean..When Baghdad Bob was telling everyone the Iraqis had US forces surrounded..he wasnt all wrong..he just didnt mention all the Iraqis had their hands up..surrendering. Is that uncomfortable enough for you?Humorous enough?
     
    #13 zzhiggins, Apr 30, 2003
  14. Drexlerfan22

    Drexlerfan22 Member

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    Declare victory? Victory is not yours declare! I could declare victory in "Me vs. The World," but that doesn't mean I'm not wrong, or just really f*cking stupid.
     
    #14 Drexlerfan22, Apr 30, 2003
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