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You guys gotta help me...I'm so freaking nervous

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by finalsbound, Apr 29, 2003.

  1. Rocketman95

    Rocketman95 Hangout Boy

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    Having never asked a girl to marry me, I can still say that Supermac34 gives excellent advice.
     
  2. RIET

    RIET Member

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    I get dibs at being the photographer. And since Im not a professional, I can package it as "true amateur footage" and sell twice as many copies.
     
  3. MacBeth

    MacBeth Member

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    Here's where my recently acquired rep as a romantic falls falt on it's face...


    I have never equated genuine romance with contrived environments, and have always sort of gone.."yeah...that's great..." to the stories about down on one knee with a symphony playing after the bride to be finds the ring in her cake sort of stories. Never done it for me. What's romantic to me is when something 'magical' happens by itself...When it's something done on purpose, do it with honesty and respect, not like a camera commercial.


    Tell her that, like everyone else, the world confuses you, and that life's uncertainty scares you, and that you don't hold any answers, or expect any from her, but the one thing you're sure of is that you want to keep looking for them with her. Be honest, be open, be vulnerable, because if you can't be now with her, who can you ever be open, honest, and vulnerable with?

    Stories like asking in a boat at midnight under fireworks make for good word of mouth circulation with her firends, but IMO honest respectful statements of the way in which this person has defined your life unlike anyone else make for better chances at a healthy life together.


    PEACE

    JAG

    P.S. I wrote the above without reading a single response, so if I inadvertantly dismissed something which was meaningfull to someone else, it was, I swear, not intentional or to be taken as a negative perspective on what choice you made... We all have our won ways, and I was just trying to express mine.
     
  4. RIET

    RIET Member

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    You watch way too much Lifetime.
     
  5. FranchiseBlade

    Supporting Member

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    It sounds like you've gotten some great advice. I'd just say one thing if you are super nervous, maybe try and take some pressure off by lightening the mood with a little humor.

    I don't mean inappropriate jokes or anything, but perhaps you could include a slightly funny poem that you can write about marriage with the ring, or something along those lines.

    "Marriage is hard work and commitment that both people have to share.
    Your spouse should be someone supportive and that will always care.
    Your spouse should be someone that knows when to work and when to play.
    I have to tell you, I'm no good at any of that... just marry me anyway."

    That's a lame poem that I just of this moment, but something along those lines will help take some pressure off of you, won't make you feel strange about an inherently corny situation.

    Also really do get down on one knee and propose.
     
  6. pasox2

    pasox2 Member
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    Actually, heypartner did it in great style - very romantic with charm and just a little extra. I heard about it from the very happy girl in chirpy, gloating girl-talk squeaks after.

    Something about the Lancaster, dinner, some nice evening play/(?)event, surprises, envelopes, drivers to places, etc.

    Ask him.

    I just got the ring out of my sock drawer and said stop askin me.

    btw - You SURE you want to do this?

    Best wishes and luck.
    p
     
  7. MacBeth

    MacBeth Member

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    Honest question: What's Lifetime?

    If you're insinuating I was too dismissive of the aspect of 'romance' so favoured in movies these days, cool. I just think that a marriage, if you're gonna do it, should be a union of two equals who have an honest and respectful love for one another, and that the proposal should refelct that aspect rather than one party trying to impress the other with their forethough as prescribed by Hollywood.
     
  8. FranchiseBlade

    Supporting Member

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    Lifetime is a cable network with programming geared towards a female audience. They show a lot of made for television movies about relationships, and relationships gone wrong, and are all very in touch with their emotions.
     
  9. mr_oily

    mr_oily Member

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    Or a shot or two of tequila and a cooold beer!;)
     
  10. RIET

    RIET Member

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    Here was my proposal:

    I was watching the UT/UConn Men's Sweet 16 game.

    She was raised in Connecticut and her parents are big UConn fans.

    So after UT whipped UConn, I went over to her, Yelled "In your face!" about 3 times, danced around the room (while she rolled her eyes) and then asked her to marry me.

    She asked me why I proposed then and there. I told her this is one day that neither you or I will ever forget and it was the happiest day in both of our lives.

    She is one dang lucky girl.
     
  11. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    ok, pasox2, knows a little bit too much about me for us both being on the save bbs. ;)

    fadeaway, my recommendation real diverson. Not the 'oh so predictable' or over-done diversions like at a Stros/Rockets game. They want something simple and sweet. If you go for the *big romantic*...i'm telling ya...it takes time and thinking and special to her, or your relationship. Don't do something already done that you can search for.

    OK, so heyschweetie was starting to apply a lot of wedding pressure. Whether she wants to believe it or not, I planned my diversion over one year in advance. The diversion I used was to screw up one heyschweetie birthday (we experienced 8)...to the point the following year she told all her friends that he better make up for it *this year.* I learned that through her roommate.

    So, then I totally made up for it with an entire day...gifts (the *YESH* gift) and all the accompaniments...(you can figure it out)...one thing after another...more gifts/extravagants...more flowers. Then just when she thought nothing else was coming and she had "slipped into something more comfortable" ... yeah they love to say that when they actually have an opportunity to say it ... and she came out, sat on my lap, and made a joke about "do you do this for all the girls just to get them in bed." (It's a running joke.)

    So, I had the ring on a statuette of a nun holding open a bible with the ring propped on it, hidden on a coffee table of ultra-many flowers at the Lancaster, and found my moment thanks to her assist line.

    "No, I only do this in front of nuns and the lord--will you marry me." And out popped the ring presented to her by the little nun statuette. She still has that statuette.

    Thing is,,,,it was from a snow globe. She collects snow globes *big time*. I bought 5 of those nun snow globes in an effort to break them open and put the ring on the nun, carefully, then seal the globe back up, making the snow globe gift the last gift.

    Didn't work out that way as they each shattered, no matter what experts I consulted. But her assist line, "so do you do this for all the girls," salvaged the use of the nun globes....otherwise I was headed for my knees.
     
  12. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    sigh,,, no edit. I meant to address finalsbound, but typed fadeaway. sorry.
     
  13. finalsbound

    finalsbound Member

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    Yep. Honestly, the situation hasn't changed much. He knows I'm in a serious relationship with her, and he knows that I'm a good guy, but he just hates me because of the color of my skin. About a month ago he told me that our relationship would be hurtful to all people involved in a couple years. I was like, "Wha..." and just ignored it. He's gotten over calling me "******" and "thug" and resorts to pretty much just grunting or ignoring me. Ah, well. Guess that's life. I mean, I'm 20 years old. He's a bitter 50-year-old man who's still living in the times interracial dating was taboo. All I care about is what his daughter thinks. ;)

    100%, positively, absolutely. Not a doubt. We have true love, because our relationship is run by something greater than ourselves. This is the best feeling I've ever felt.

    Supermac - - We've actually talked about how many kids we want. She wants a girl and a boy. Sounds good to me.
     
  14. codell

    codell Member

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    Don't knock something you've never tired or experienced. ;)
     
  15. Mr. Mooch

    Mr. Mooch Contributing Member

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    Well, another of my fantastic ideas is to get an unflattering picture of her and put it on a cake.

    Then both of you can ea--

    OOOOOOOKKKKKKK.
     
  16. arkoe

    arkoe (ง'̀-'́)ง

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    :confused:

    Edit's been working pretty well for me. Already used it three times tonight.

    By the way, good luck finalsbound. I'm sure whatever you decide to do, you'll do fine.

    Make that four.
     
  17. StupidMoniker

    StupidMoniker I lost a bet

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    On the Universal Studios Tour.
     
  18. Playercentral

    Playercentral Member

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    sounds like Kobes daddy:(
     
  19. Another Brother

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    1 more...

    Propose, give her the ring and when she says yes, tell her that you were just fuc*ing with her.:D
     
  20. Falcons Talon

    Falcons Talon Member

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    LMAO!!! I just remembered how I proposed to my ex...

    It was July 4th after a late night movie. Somebody had stole the tail lights off of my Mustang GT and I lost my temper and through my Reeses peanut butter cup at my car! Then we called the police and I chewed out the security that was working there. On the way to drop her off, while still driving, I gave her the box with the ring and said "Well, will you?"

    She said to ask her parents...the next day!

    When I did, her b!tch mom said she had to think about it and sat in the living room and watched a game show before she said to me "I guess..."

    I sure am glad I'm out of that looney family.
     

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