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[breakup advice] ended a two year old relationship

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by putyouonthegame, Nov 27, 2013.

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  1. Kim

    Kim Member

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    You've been here long enough to know that you got to be able to dish it and take it around here :) IIRC, I think you started off exclusively spamming the board with links to your awful straight-up football picks website, which I did stop reading and put an end to those threads. Regardless, you're a perfectly cool poster nowadays (probably a better one than me) and it'd be awesome if you PM'd putyouonthegame and lift his spirits.
     
    #81 Kim, Dec 6, 2013
  2. ynelilvs99

    ynelilvs99 Member

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    WRONG
    that wasn't me
    nice try though
     
    #82 ynelilvs99, Dec 6, 2013
  3. Jontro

    Jontro Member

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    Group pic sent. To be safe, I'm the most attractive one there.
     
    #83 Jontro, Dec 6, 2013
  4. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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    lemme see
     
    #84 cheke64, Dec 6, 2013
  5. krnxsnoopy

    krnxsnoopy Member

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    I'm probably the hottest guy on this forum. Where do I send pics? I'll trade pics of my pecs for your boobs.
     
    #85 krnxsnoopy, Dec 7, 2013
  6. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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    they say I look like:
    mani teo or whatever his name is
    William Levy but darker
    D-wade but lighter
     
    #86 cheke64, Dec 7, 2013
  7. Hustle Town

    Hustle Town Member

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    Everyone says I look like Kevin Durant :p
     
    #87 Hustle Town, Dec 7, 2013
  8. Refman

    Refman Member

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    I just don't get the aversion to dating somebody with kids. When I was 32, I got involved with a woman who had two teenagers. It was difficult at first, but after the initial phase, it got a lot easier. Eight years later, both kids are grown and in college. They treat me like a father. This has easily been the most rewarding experience of my life.
     
    #88 Refman, Dec 7, 2013
  9. the shark

    the shark Member

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    I obviously don't know this woman, but I think it would be safe to say that her two kids are the biggest part of her life. They are her heart and her reason for living.

    You didn't want anything to do with these kids, and it amazes me that she didn't dump you a long time ago. You have a lot to learn about love. You can't turn back the clock, however you can learn from this. Love is a gift and a blessing, and you have a preconceived idea what the gift should look like. Open your mind and your heart as you have no idea how love will come to you. Good luck.
     
    #89 the shark, Dec 7, 2013
  10. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    she told me about her kids on our 3rd date. I told her that's not something i can deal with. I will still see her but i won't get involved in her side of life.

    she agreed, and then we just got closer and closer. I was extremely lonely at the time and it was the closest thing i could get so i went along with it. We became extremely attached. We did everything together. I leaned on her on everything, and she did on me.

    There were times she argued about it how why i can't see past the fact that she has kids. For me, i always thought that this relationship with end and we would both go our separate ways. So it's so surprising to me right now that i can't get over it.
     
    #90 putyouonthegame, Dec 7, 2013
  11. Kim

    Kim Member

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    Sincere apologies...I just looked it up and got you completely mixed up with yostros99.

    It's not surprising that you can't get over it...that takes time, especially since it hasn't been that long and since y'all became so close. If you can't picture yourself as a man who can live with a woman who has another man's kids, then at least try to move on. You stuck to your guns and did step 1...there are like 10 more steps to go. If you want to turn back around and she lets you, then at least try to do counseling together or something to make progress on that issue, or you'll always be living in transition in your mind, bc you don't see a future.
     
    #91 Kim, Dec 7, 2013
  12. Voice of Aus

    Voice of Aus Member

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    What if she has a CF's account and is reading all of this :O
     
    #92 Voice of Aus, Dec 7, 2013
  13. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    i don't even know why i'm so hung up on this.

    she's in debt. She relied on me financially. She works a minimum paying job to support 3 people.

    I just finished college, and i have all my years of life ahead of me. I want to go travel and do so many things, and i couldn't have done that with someone that has kids.
     
    #93 putyouonthegame, Dec 7, 2013
  14. RV6

    RV6 Member

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    Then you both got what you deserved, for not thinking of the children first (insert meme here). Not sure what either of y'all assumed would happen. It sounds pretty ridiculous to think y'all could keep a separate life going without the kids. You may have, but that was never a realistic option for her. You were selfish, but so was she and she should know better, since they're her kids.
     
    #94 RV6, Dec 7, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2013
  15. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    i kicked her to the curb. we had a huge fight. i deleted everything of her. she wanted to "be friends" .. i think wanting me to be there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.

    i said hell no. All or nothing. she said she's confused and doesn't know what to do. I told her i'll make it simple for both of us. She pleaded and begged not to block her from social media for whatever reason, but i wasn't buying any of that. I'm done with her.

    Now the real healing process starts.
     
    #95 putyouonthegame, Dec 12, 2013
  16. cheke64

    cheke64 Member

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    Prepare for foreveralone.
     
    #96 cheke64, Dec 12, 2013
  17. Isabel

    Isabel Member

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    Wow. I wondered why she would let it go on for 2 years of somebody not accepting or even meeting her kids. Then I read the debt and financial part. Sad but it sounds like she may have been at least partly in this as a source of support for herself and her kids. Unfortunately if you only have a minimum wage job/ job skills it is not enough to live on, particularly supporting other people.

    I wish her luck with the next guy; hopefully he can appreciate her for a great girlfriend and will be able to accept kids. Ladies, please focus on your education and getting some viable job skills before you have kids, so your job/financial support and your relationship life can be two SEPARATE things.

    Also, since both of you were lonely, neither of you probably wanted to give it up even if it was a very non-ideal situation. Probably good for you both if it's over now. In the most ideal and mature world, people would accept somebody else for who they are and would learn to love and care for any kids they already had. And many people do just that. I can understand if it's too much for those who do not yet have kids of their own, though.

    Bottom line - there should be true love in a relationship that lasts that long - which means caring for the things/people that are important to the other person. Wasn't happening here; just not the right situation I guess.
     
    #97 Isabel, Dec 12, 2013
  18. Rashmon

    Rashmon Member

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    Sounds like she dodged a bullet.
     
    #98 Rashmon, Dec 12, 2013
  19. putyouonthegame

    putyouonthegame Member

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    no now that i'm thinking with a clearer head. I dodged a bullet. During the relationship, i would tell myself why am i with her, what am i doing with this girl. I know i shouldn't be dealing with a single mom. But we did for the sex and our comfort level was great.

    She's also been getting closer to some guy at work, even before our breakup, and that basically what started all this mess. I'm glad it's over. I didn't wanna get her pregnant and then i'm stuck with her in my life.

    It's about time to move on. I might not get someone like her, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Right now i'm gonna focus on myself, hit the gym, and find myself a career job. I just finished my undergraduate. I got my life ahead of me. I don't need to be tied down to a single mom of 2 kids.
     
    #99 putyouonthegame, Dec 12, 2013
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