Three old men are discussing their sex lives. The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end. " The Frenchman boasts, "Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes. " The old Jewish man says, "Well, last week my wife and I had sex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz (kosher chicken fat),we made love, and she screamed for 6 hours." The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They replied, "What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?" "I wiped my hands on the drapes
This was a result of the Clinton Lewinsky controversy, Al Franken said something like " I talked it over with my wife and we both agreed that oral sex is adultery. That's why we haven't had any since we've been married."
A little lady from New Orleans had worked in and around family dairy Farms since she was old enough to walk...with hours of hard work and little compensation ...and when canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores (1940's or 50's???) she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan...rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...." and she said, I know all about milk and dairy farms...I can do this!!!! She sent in her entry and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house...a man got out and said, Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it.... Here is her entry: ================================ Carnation milk is best of all, no t!ts to pull, no **** to haul no buckets to wash, no hay to pitch, just poke a hole in the son-of-a-b!tch!
You know that Hooter's has an airline branch, right? Well, there are 2 stewardists and 4 Hooter's girls per each flight. Unfortunately, the Hooter's girls aren't trained for flight safety, but in case of emergency, latch on for flotation device.
All six of Saddam's doubles were called to a meeting today to be briefed as to what their job over the next few days would be. Each of them came eagerly to see what their great leader had in mind for them and also because they were worried after not hearing from him after the initial bombings. Uday came into the conference room with his bodyguards behind him. "I have good news and bad news." Uday said. "The good news is that Saddam is alive and well so you all may keep your jobs!" The lookalikes all cheered and praised Saddam and Allah. "The bad news is that Saddam lost an eye and an arm."
