So recently I found out that a close friend of mine passed away violently. She lived in Florida (she moved from here a couple years back.) The crazy thing is that I was just texting her two days prior to her death. I was devastated, and I still am. It just feels like part of me is missing now. I wish I could have done more to help her; she sounded fine on the phone and when I texted her. I know that I have to stand strong as a man, but I am having a rough time with this. I haven't really had time for it to sink in. Call me a wuss but I have been shedding some serious tears when I am alone (my family is weird about crying.) I still have my last text that she sent me: "noo lol your stupid! Go to bed punk " We messed around often. And after that message I fell asleep and slept in. The following day we didn't text, and the day after that I find out she is gone, died at the hospital. I stay strong around family, but it gets me when I am alone. I know eventually I have to move on and it is part of life, but it's really hard. It sucks because I really don't have close friends, and she was one of the close ones. Anyway I should be fine, but right now I'm struggling. Please pray for her, like I do daily.
I've found the most therapuetic thing when it comes to death is to do something positive for the world in the name of the person who is now gone. It's weird, but nothing cures depression like a noble act. Also, the odds against living at all are staggeringly against us. The fact this person existed, and you came into their presence at the same point in time and space, is in itself a miracle and blessing. Carry that forward. Take nothing for granted.
I know that feel bro. I've had two uncles murdered, one aunt die of a drug overdose and another uncle blow his brains out. Yes, I know I have screwed up extended family. I also have a friend from church that was beaten to death for his Rolex and gold chain last year. He died a few days later in the hospital due to a swollen brain... leaving his wife and two young kids all alone. It's pretty surreal when someone you know dies before they're "supposed" to, especially when it is of no fault of their own. I just always take it as a lesson that you have no clue when your card will be called, so get busy living, or get busy dying.
Sorry for your loss. It's normal to feel some level of responsibility, the way you describe feeling like you could have done more to help. Try to remember that it's irrational though, because holding on to guilt like that can do a lot of harm in the long run.
Suicide will create a huge burden of guilt on everyone who knew the person. Try not to blame yourself, you sounded like a positive in her life. You can never really know what is going on in someone else's head.
This. It is tough to cope with, but it isn't your fault (queue Robin Williams). You'll ask yourself if you should have seen the warning signs, if you should have known... and the answer is no. The vast majority of the time there is nothing you can or could have done. What goes on inside people's heads generally isn't shared with the world, and it certainly isn't easy to discern across text messages.
Sorry to hear about your friend roxxfan. I also had a close friend who passed away suddenly. We had talked about hitting up a UH basketball game about 2-3 days before he passed. The important thing to remember is that you were a good friend, and that you left a positive impact on their life. I know it will be tough, but time is the ultimate healer. Stay strong brother.
I pray for your strength and her family. Tears don't make you weak and are nothing to be ashamed of . . . I think DonnieMost makes a good suggestion. and Moes gives some good advice. This to shall pass. She maybe gone. . . but she is not forgotten. Keep her in your heart.. Rocket River
Very sorry to hear about that. The drummer for my band died suddenly and unexpectandly a few years ago and it was very hard on me especially not seeing him at practice. As Jontro said no shame in shedding tears. There is nothing about being a man that says you don't mourn when a friend dies.
Very sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself at all. It sounds like you were a good friend to her. You also don't have to hide from your emotions. Go through them, they are what they are. Try and find someone you can talk to about how great she was, and tell stories of the good person she was. Best of luck to you.
Suicide is one of those things that affects every person she was close with, because it makes them feel like they could have done more. I would relish the fact that you knew her, and she probably regarded you as one of the positives in her life. Take the time you need to grieve, go out and spend your time doing good, and keep her in your thoughts. Time heals all wounds, but it's just a matter of getting there. Condolences to you.
I lost my older brother 3 months ago so I can feel your pain. He was killed in a car accident while moving his family back down to Houston from Montana. Some punk stoned on "Scooby Snax" rear ended his U-Haul going 90+ mph. He left behind an 8 month pregnant wife and two children under three years of age. It's not going to get easier for a while. I still have days where I just break down as soon as I get to my car after work. Not sure what to tell you other than it's normal to be heartbroken. Try to think about the good times you had together rather than the emptiness her death has left in your life. I'll send some thoughts your way.
Best thing is to let out what you have. Cry if needed. Don't repress anything and be as open and honest as you can. While doing so remember the good in your friend and do not let any what if situations or regrets consume you. Remain optimistic and positive as you can once you feel you're past the greiving period. You can and will get last this my friend :grin:
Its good to vent. R.I.P.. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7xVEa0SMxFg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
