A Cool NBA Preview

I found a preview where they actually know what they are talking about and dont just throw together last years end-of-the-year rankings...
http://www.hoopstv.com/HTVPro2151_2.html

By HoopsTV.com

Who will be the illest team in the 2000-2001 season? What squad has the best chance at taking it to the Lakers? HoopsTV provides the science for the upcoming season and breaks things down for your pleasure. Place your bets, make your predictions and call your boys. Once again, it's on.

29. Clippers - There are only three certainties in life: Death, taxes and the Clippers will always suck.

28. Chicago - Introducing the Bulls starting five: rookie, rookie, almost rookie, rookie, old-ass veteran.... The bench: Hella $Loot$ (left by free agents), Prozac (left by T. Floyd), and Ass-whoopin' ointment (for post game).

27. Washington - Unless MJ suits up, the Wiz will remain in the toilet.

26. Golden State - "How to Improve a Stank-Ass Team," by the Golden State Warriors: Sign dinosaur Chris Mullin, invite Yinka Dare to camp, re-sign Adonal Foyle, and, with your highest pick, land pre-draft camp bust Chris Porter in the second round. Both Warrior fans are trembling with anticipation.

25. Vancouver - Shareef Abdur-Rahim is legit, Michael Dickerson is a stud and Stromile Swift will be good. By the way, Vancouver is a city in western Canada, a little above Seattle.

24. Boston - Of the two knife-jobs involving the Celtics during the off-season - Paul Pierce being stabbed at a night club and Antoine Walker being stabbed in the back by his coach - it's the Walker/Pitino riff that will go further in determining this team's future.

23. Cleveland - Trading for Matt Harpring and Chris Gatling was not the answer. Believe it or not, Cav fans will actually miss Bobby Sura. How much fun is it going to be watching Andre Miller pass the rock down low to Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Chris Mihm?

22. Detroit - It's not that anyone in Motown thinks Mateen Cleaves is better than Grant Hill, but there were few tears shed when the spokesman/ small forward bounced to Disney. Cleaves may not have as many skills, but he ain't soft. In this factory town, that still means something.

21. Denver - With James Posey, Raef LaFrentz and Antonio McDyess, the Nuggs have a threesome that could be as nasty as Bill, Monica, and the cigar. 'Course, if they were that nasty, we'd just hand Denver the title right now.

20. New Jersey - We're looking for this team on the dish every night (especially with 1st pick overall Grand Kenyon), but until Steph learns to share, don't look for them in the second season.

19. Minnesota - The T'Wolves had a rough summer. The tragic death of Malik Sealy and Joe Smith's contract controversy hurts KG and company's chances of making the playoffs.

18. Atlanta - Lon Kruger left his top-10 Fightin' Illini for this group of clowns? J.R. may be gone, but so's any semblance of O. Unless you count Mutombo's moves, which are plenty offensive.

17. Toronto - Air Canada's co-pilot is now flying out of Orlando. VC and new head coach Lenny Wilkens still have a chance to make the playoffs, though.

16. Dallas - The best hotels on the road? Custom-made chairs for the bench? DVD players and flat screen TVs in each locker? Who cares about on the court, Big-D is the baddest squad in the L.... Michael Finley has dethroned Shareef as the best player you used to never hear about.

15. Orlando - Doc Rivers got his two stars. With Grant and Tracy, Disneyworld isn't the only show in Orlando.

14. Milwaukee - If Cassell, Big Dog and Ray Allen - one of the nastiest 3-somes in the League - can all stay healthy, the Bucks should make noise in the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed. P.S.: Like last year, we'll watch every Bucks game hoping to catch a glimpse of Rafer.

13. Houston - Put away the canes and walkers! The Rockets are launching a Francis-led youth movement, and this year's squad belongs to Wink. If the Dream meshes with explosive new-school ballers like Cat, Mo T, and Dan Langhi in an unEwing like manner, the Rockets' motto should shift from "I've fallen and I can't get up!" to "Throw the lob because I sure as hell can get up!"

12. Charlotte - If you're a professional athlete, this is the one town you don't want to live in these days. As for the Bugs, they picked up Mashburn and P.J. Brown and lost Mase and Eddie Jones. They'll make the playoffs, as usual, but they'll be golfing by mid-May.

11. Philadelphia - Will there ever be peace in the City of Brotherly Love? A throwdown between Iverson and Brown is imminent, but it will be the lack of off-season moves that dooms Illadelph to a repeat of last year.

10. Sacramento - Same deal, different season. Lots of O, no D and done after the first round of the playoffs.

9. New York - The Knicks are like a Twinkie - soft and white in the middle.

8. Utah - Stop us if you've heard this one before: Stockton & Malone lead team to hefty record and killer home court stats. Jazz go deep into playoffs and fall to... somebody better.

7. Phoenix - Take off the Glove, J-Kidd is the best point guard in the league. But unless Lil' Penny finds the game he lost a few years back, the Suns won't make it past the 2nd round.

6. Indiana - This squad is notorious for Smitting the bed when it counts, but they're still among the East's best.

5. Seattle - Things are booming in Seattle. GP finally has the big fella he needed, the youngsters are coming around and Vin dropped a few pounds. Question is, can the Sonics rely on a whiney, 37-year-old gimp to push them past the Lakers and Portland?

4. San Antonio - San Antonio, we have some good news and we have some bad news. First, Tim Duncan is back. Second, the Lakers and Trailblazers are still in the West.

3. Miami - Riley's got more guns than a hillbilly militia. This should be the squad representing the Eastern Conference in the NBA Finals.

2. Portland - Still the most talent-filled team in the league. Still lookin' like the NBA's version of the SuperFriends. Still got game at every position. Still gonna get beat by the Lakers.

1. Lakers - Message from L.A. psychic: Lakers will win second ring.... Kobe's wedding will be an after-school special on NBC.... While staring at Phil Jackson, a tearful Doug Collins will be overheard saying: "That could be me, that could be me".... Jeannie Buss makes Viagra a team sponsor.... Shaq will smile.