So it sounds like most agree that if a boyfriend pays for all the rent for his girlfriend, he should expect her to do something in return like cook and clean for him. But in a loving relationship, shouldn't someone do something for the other person, in this case pay the rent, without expecting anything in return? Like when you take your lady out for dinner, you don't keep a tab that she owes you one dinner or equivalent in cooking/cleaning.
It isn't keeping score. I think that you pay the rent regardless... but let me ask you a question, if someone you loved was paying all the bills, wouldn't you want to do something for them to make it fair?
What I got out of my experience is that... couples now days have to split everything 50/50 expenses (assuming she works, or at least help out some), house chores etc, we males are not "kings" and we do not own our partners also keep in mind there is a fine line between having a wife/girlfriend and a slave. Its your decision to pay the whole amount if you want, but just remember not to treat her like a your maid. Trowing it out there just in case you get in to legal troubles like I did, judges don't take that to well especially if is a female judge.
There is not a fine line between a maid/slave and a girlfriend/wife. It is simple, don't treat your significant other like they are something you stepped in. If you need to split bills to keep you in line, then so be it. Personally my wife does not want to work and I am glad that I make enough to make it possible. She is excellent at what she does and I feel blessed.
What usually happens is that you might agree to split it (or not formally talk about it at all) and then whoever makes more, usually the dude, pays all or most of the rent. Even with an agreement and you're months into the cohabitation, I wouldn't bring it up at all. It's not a winning argument or trump card. It never is/will be. Messiness all around, but the possibility of her not paying is one of the prerequisites for moving in. Kinda like mentally preparing for the idea that you could kill someone before seriously consider buying a gun. It's the responsible and sane thing to do.
Dude relax, if you are in a good situation good for you, were all just trowing opinions at the OP, he needs to figure out whats best for him. OP I do want to add that it doesn't make you less of a man if you don't cover every expense in the relationship, it is OK if she helps you couples are supposed to help each other out through the good and the bad in all ways possible to live happily with each other, you guys just have to figure it out between yourselves.
It's not really about the money. It's more about the principle in my opinion. To me, paying for rent is a necessity to maintain life or a relationship, not a luxury like paying for a restaurant meal. It's like paying for the water bill. If a couple decide to live together, I think the woman should at least offer to help pay some of the costs. Looking at everyone's comments, it sounds like it is okay for bfs to pay all the rent only if the gf plays her gender role and cooks and cleans.
Hell no. As a child of two medical professionals, I can't picture a scenario where two working spouses don't both contribute to finances. If one or the other is a homemaker, fine. My dad actually retired early while my mom kept working. He cooks.
The idea is "bring something to the table". There's absolutely no reason the GF shouldn't contribute if she works. To flip it around: would a woman pay the entire rent in the name of women's rights? No, because that's ignorant.
