Okay, I just got back from a date with this girl that I met on-line through one of those dating services. I thought she was better-looking in person than what her picture showed, and I feel that we had a good time. However, one thing that bothered me was I got the impression that this girl has been hurt before by a guy or guys and maybe in a physical way, like a rape. For starters, she didn't want me to come to her place to pick her up - instead she wanted me to meet her at the restaurant. Then after we got done eating, she wanted me to follow her in my car while she drove hers to the mall and then to the movies. After the movie (we saw "Two Weeks Notice"), she and me said good night, but she didn't want me to follow her home to see if she got home okay. Okay, it was the first time that we met face-to-face, but we had talked several times on the phone before tonight and I felt that after having dinner with me, she would know that I am no weirdo (please, no cracks from the peanut gallery ). But it bothers me that I don't know what she thinks about this. The last thing I want to do is make a girl think that she is "unsafe" around me. So, I guess I'm asking 2 things here: 1) Does anyone else think this is weird? 2) Has this situation happened to anyone else?
Okay, what's her e-mail? I'll anonymously talk with her . Honestly, if you haven't already, search her name on Google. Maybe she will show up, maybe not. If she ever had any possible assault case or whatever, of corse she wouldn't be listed. But it's worth a shot........a very nosy one.
Manny, Ask her why she does these things, and maybe you don't need to ask strangers on a BBS to speculate about it DD
Stranger is such a bad word. We aren't "strange", we're only faceless figures who lie about age, weight, and marital status. If anything, we're all friends who just haven't met in person.
No its not weird. She just met you. I've had a some what similar situation and it didn't bother me at all. I met a girl at a party, she took my number and called. When I wanted to hang out, she wanted me to come by her house so I could meet people she new. It just made her feel safe, no big deal. Meeting a stranger can be a strange thing for a girl, especially over the internet.
Dear Manny, From a woman's point of view... she's just playing safe and smart!!! I don't blame her, there are so many scary things on the news... just give it time, don't rush
She sounds like a very smart/cautious woman to me. How trusting should one be when meeting people either online or through dating services, anyways?
First of all, you met her through an online dating service. Youre lucky she's not 350 lb grunt with a 10 year old Glamour Shot. That aside, her being careful is probably a good thing. It means that she thought about the process in a logical manner. Also, she probably has friends and relatives that insisted that she use these guidelines to make sure you weren't a wacko. The fact she was cautious is a good and positive thing. Seriously, would you want to date someone who didn't use common sense?
Relax and give her the benefit of the doubt. Call her up and tell her you enjoyed the time you spent together and propose another date. However, this time pick a weekend lunch and afternoon date. She might feel more comfortable in the daylight. Also, since day dates don't have the same inherent pressures night dates do, you get points for being a nice and considerate guy who is showing genuine interest. It also gives her the option of extending the date past twilight if she starts to feel more comfortable throughout the afternoon. Good luck.
These days, women are given advice similar to what this girl followed: not to get caught alone with a man you don't really know under any circumstance. I've seen detailed pieces of advice that involve some of these same techniques. Don't take it personally - just continue to act like a gentleman, and if you see her again take it slow and give her lots of space. For us ladies, it's just kind of scary knowing what's out there, and often it takes a while for us to fully trust people.
Way back in '92 I had a date with a woman I'd never met. We had met through a personal ad. We went to dinner and, lo and behold, some of her best friends were at the little Italian restaurant we dined at. Small world! I think your date is just being cautious. It's a world full of weirdos. Run with rimrocker's advice.
Sounds pretty unanimous; nothing wrong with what she did. Actually, kinda smart (if her number isn't listed; else, it was a waste of time).
This is a pretty safe move by a girl.... especially on the first date. I would not be bothered by that. She just doesnt want you to know where she lives. For all she knows you are a psycho sex offender or something. We all know that you are not, but she doesnt....
We Horns are together on this one. I would not push the issue at all and see how things go over the next few meetings. In this day and age of mass media you hear so much about terrible things that happen, some people are much more cautious. Or maybe she just did not want you to meet her husband yet j/k. I would not at all be concerned, as a matter of cat, I would have to say she did the right thing and its no reflection of how she feels about you. Good luck.
Manny, I believe you a trusting guy and are a good person...It is a scary world out there...I feel I am similar in that regard, but people have to be careful out in a wicked world.
It doesn't sound like much to me, Manny. Although you've talked, this was the first real meeting. It sounds like she may just be cautious. Perhaps too cautious; perhaps not. I'm sure that not all girls end up with nice guys when using these services, and dating services like that seem like an easy way for "weirdos" to find victims. If you guys go out several more times and things are the same, that might be strange. Still, let her comfort level rise naturally. If she's a little overly cautious, I don't think pushing things beyond her comfort zone will help. Do you know what I mean?
