Apparently this happened around Christmas, but it's just getting out because of Obama's complete control of the government.
It's real life Terminator. Obama's Stuxnet/Skynet evolved over the internet until it became self-aware and turned itself into an airborne zombie virus.
Looks like Dennys. I guess his snobby ass was ticked they didn't have the rare beef he wanted so he decided to eat a baby. No concern for the little guy. What a disgrace.
Careful, people. You've stumbled onto something larger than even you can imagine. You're meddling with the primal forces of nature, here! It's not just one soulless little child. It's not just a zombified baby. Look closer: he's already gotten to the parents! I volunteer, sub rosa, at the Obama campaign, so I know what I'm talking about.
^^ Embarassing enough. My sources tell me that was only after Axelrod got wind of what went down, and tried to smooth things over before Fox News/The Daily Show caught on. The president's (sated) first draft:
Sources tell me that baby was kept in a totally dark room in a restrictive playpen and fed large doses of milk products to make it more tender. Horrific.
